The Role of Play in Healing: Reclaiming Joy

# The Role of Play in Healing: Reclaiming Joy My dearest friends, I am so glad you are here with me today. I want to talk to you about something that is so essential to our healing, to our very being, yet it is something we so often forget, especially as we grow older and carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. I want to talk to you about the striking, life-altering power of play. I can see some of you smiling already, a little spark of recognition in your eyes. And some of you may be feeling a little skeptical, a little resistant. “Play? What does play have to do with my healing? I have serious work to do, deep wounds to mend.” And to that, I say, with all the love in my heart, that play *is* the serious work of healing. It is the sacred balm that soothes our deepest hurts and reawakens the joyful, vibrant spirit that is our birthright. In my many years of walking this path of healing and spiritual growth, I have had the privilege of learning from some of the most brilliant minds and compassionate hearts of our time. I have sat with the work of Dr. Gabor Maté, who so beautifully illuminates the ways in which our earliest experiences shape us. I have been deeply moved by the wisdom of Dr. Peter Levine, who teaches us how to listen to the language of our bodies and release the trauma that is stored there. And I have been inspired by the new research of Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, who has shown us that the body truly does keep the score. And what I have come to understand, through their teachings and through my own journey, is that play is not a luxury; it is a biological necessity. It is the way in which we learn, we grow, and we heal. It is the natural expression of our life force, our creative energy, our divine essence. ## What is Play, Really? So, what is this magical thing we call play? It is not about winning or losing, or achieving a certain outcome. It is not about being productive or efficient. Play is any activity that is done for its own sake, for the sheer joy of it. It is spontaneous, it is imaginative, and it is deeply personal. What feels like play to you may be very different from what feels like play to me. For you, it might be dancing in your living room to your favorite music, or painting with watercolors, or building a sandcastle on the beach. For me, it might be telling stories to my grandchildren, or hiking in the mountains, or simply lying on my back and watching the clouds drift by.

If you want to understand how trauma lives in the body, The Body Keeps the Score will change everything. *(paid link)*

There is no right or wrong way to play. The only requirement is that it brings you a sense of delight, of aliveness, of connection to your own heart. It is in these moments of play that we step out of the linear, logical mind and into the area of the soul. We reconnect with the innocent, curious, and joyful part of ourselves that I like to call the inner child. For many of us who have experienced trauma, that connection to our inner child has been severed. We learned early on that the world was not a safe place to be spontaneous, to be vulnerable, to be fully ourselves. We learned to suppress our natural impulses, to put on a brave face, to be serious and responsible. And in doing so, we lost a vital part of our being. But my dear friends, I am here to tell you that your inner child is not gone. He or she is simply waiting for you to come and find them. And the way to do that is through play. ## The Science of Play and Healing Now, I know that some of you may still be a little skeptical. You may be thinking, “This all sounds very nice, Paul, but where is the science to back it up?” And I am so glad you asked, because the science is truly impressive. Years ago, during a particularly dark stretch after a series of ego deaths, I found myself curled up on the floor of Amma’s ashram, exhausted and raw. Instead of diving into scripture or meditation, Amma’s presence alone invited a kind of silliness — a spontaneous laughing fit with other devotees that shook the heaviness right out of my chest. It was in that simple act of play that I first felt the edges of my brokenness soften. No deep insight, no heavy work, just laughter moving through the body like medicine. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, in his seminal book, *The Body Keeps the Score*, explains that trauma is not just a story we tell ourselves; it is a physiological reality. When we experience a traumatic event, our nervous system goes into a state of fight, flight, or freeze. And if that response is not completed, if we are not able to release that energy, it gets stuck in our bodies. This is why so many of us who have experienced trauma suffer from chronic pain, anxiety, depression, and a host of other physical and emotional symptoms. Here's the thing: it's where the work of Dr. Peter Levine and his Somatic Experiencing comes in. Dr. Levine has shown us that we can heal from trauma by gently and safely releasing that stuck energy from our bodies. And one of the most powerful ways to do that is through play. Think about a young child who falls and scrapes their knee. What do they do? They cry, they shake, they let the energy of the shock and the pain move through them. And then, a few minutes later, they are up and running again, as if nothing happened. That's the natural, instinctive way in which we are designed to heal.

A weighted blanket can feel like a hug from the universe ~ especially on nights when the mind will not stop. *(paid link)* There's something about that gentle pressure that tells your nervous system it's safe to let go. Your shoulders drop. The racing thoughts slow their roll. It's not magic, but it's close ~ like having someone hold space for all the chaos inside without needing to fix it or understand it. Just... presence. Weight. Warmth. I used to think this was bullshit, honestly. How could a heavy blanket do what years of therapy couldn't? But your body knows things your brain refuses to accept. That pressure activates something primal ~ the same comfort you felt as a kid when someone tucked you in tight. Know what I mean? It's not about solving anything. It's about finally feeling held when you're too tired to hold yourself together anymore.

But as we get older, we are taught to suppress that natural response. We are told to “be strong,” to “suck it up,” to not make a fuss. And so, we hold that trauma in our bodies, where it continues to wreak havoc on our physical and emotional health. Play, in its purest form, is a way of completing those interrupted trauma responses. When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous, to move our bodies in joyful and uninhibited ways, we are giving our nervous system a chance to reset. We are telling our bodies, on a deep, cellular level, that we are safe, that the danger has passed, and that it is okay to relax and let go. Dr. Gabor Maté speaks so eloquently about the importance of play in healthy child development. He says that play is not just something that children do to pass the time; it is the primary way in which they learn about the world and their place in it. It is through play that they develop their creativity, their problem-solving skills, and their ability to form healthy relationships. And what is true for children is also true for us as adults. When we make time for play, we are not just having fun; we are rewiring our brains for joy, for connection, and for resilience. ## Reclaiming Your Inner Child Through Play So, how do we begin to reclaim this vital part of ourselves? How do we learn to play again, especially when it feels so foreign and so far away? First off, my dear friends, I want you to be gentle with yourselves. What we're looking at is not another thing to add to your to-do list, another way to strive and to achieve. Here's the thing: it's a journey of rediscovery, of coming home to yourself. And like any journey, it begins with a single step.

Rose quartz is the stone of unconditional love, keep one close when you are doing heart work. *(paid link)*

I invite you to start by simply noticing what brings you a sense of delight. It could be something as small as the feeling of the sun on your skin, or the sound of a bird singing outside your window, or the taste of a perfectly ripe strawberry. Let yourself savor these simple pleasures, without any agenda or expectation. And then, when you are ready, you can begin to experiment with more intentional forms of play. Think back to what you loved to do as a child. Did you love to draw, or to sing, or to build things with your hands? Did you love to climb trees, or to ride your bike, or to play make-believe? Allow yourself to revisit some of those childhood passions, without any judgment or self-consciousness. You don’t have to be good at it. You don’t have to show it to anyone. Here's the thing: it's just for you. It is a gift you are giving to your own heart. If you are having trouble remembering what you used to love, or if those things no longer feel joyful to you, that is perfectly okay. You can explore new things. Take a dance class, or a pottery class, or a creative writing workshop. Go to a park and swing on the swings. Buy a set of crayons and a coloring book. The possibilities are endless. The important thing is to approach it with a sense of curiosity and adventure. Be willing to be a beginner, to be messy, to be imperfect. And most more to the point, be willing to have fun. ## The Spiritual Dimension of Play As we begin to welcome play back into our lives, we may be surprised to discover that it is not just a psychological or a biological phenomenon; it is also a deeply spiritual practice. In my practice, I’ve seen clients come in weighed down by grief or anger, their nervous systems stuck in survival mode. One workshop in Denver, I guided a group through shaking and breath work until the tension in their jaws and shoulders began to crack open. Then, suddenly, a woman started dancing in the corner — awkward, joyful, not caring who saw. That moment was the turning point, the invitation back to life beyond the trauma. Play doesn’t fix everything, but it rewires the body’s memory and reminds us how to be whole again. When we are truly engaged in play, we are fully present in the moment. We are not worrying about the past or planning for the future. We are simply here, now, in this beautiful, unfolding experience. the essence of mindfulness, of being in a state of grace.

I keep palo santo in every room, it is one of my favorite tools for shifting energy. *(paid link)*

Play also connects us to our own creativity, which is a direct expression of the divine. When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous and imaginative, we are tapping into the same creative force that brought the universe into being. We are co-creating with God, with Spirit, with the source of all that is. And finally, play connects us to each other. When we play with others, we are building bridges of trust, of intimacy, and of love. We are reminding each other that we are all in this together, that we are all children of the same divine family. ## A Call to Play My dearest friends, I hope that our time together today has sparked something within you. I hope that you are beginning to see that play is not a frivolous distraction from the serious business of life; it is the very heart of it. I invite you to make a commitment to yourself, right here, right now, to bring more play into your life. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as simple as taking five minutes each day to do something that makes you smile. And as you do, I want you to remember that you are not just having fun; you are healing your body, your mind, and your soul. You are reclaiming the joyful, vibrant, and loving being that you were always meant to be. I am sending you so much love on your journey. May you play, may you laugh, and may you remember the magnificent, divine child that you are.