Gabor Maté on Trauma: The Body Keeps the Score

# Gabor Maté on Trauma: The Body Keeps the Score My dearest friends, with a heart full of love, I welcome you to this sacred space of healing and understanding. Today, I want to talk about something that touches so many of us, something that can cast a long shadow over our lives if left unaddressed: trauma. It’s a word we hear often, but do we truly understand its depth and its deep impact on our mind, body, and spirit? I’ve spent over three decades walking with people on their healing journeys, and I’ve come to see that trauma is one of the most significant, yet often misunderstood, aspects of the human experience. But here’s the beautiful truth I want to share with you today: healing is not only possible, it is your birthright. And there are wise and compassionate teachers who have illuminated the path for us, offering us a roadmap back to ourselves. One of the most intense voices in this field is the brilliant Dr. Gabor Maté, whose work has revolutionized our understanding of trauma and its connection to our physical and mental health. So, let us start on this journey together, with open hearts and a willingness to learn, as we explore the wisdom of Gabor Maté and other pioneers in the field of trauma healing. ## What is Trauma? A Deeper Understanding So, what is trauma? For many of us, the word conjures images of catastrophic events ... war, natural disasters, or severe abuse. And while these are certainly traumatic, Dr. Maté offers us a more expansive and, I believe, a more compassionate definition. He teaches us that **trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.** This is a crucial distinction, my friends. It’s not the external event, but the internal wound that is left behind. Dr. Maté uses a powerful analogy: if you get a blow to the head, the blow itself is not the trauma; the trauma is the concussion, the injury to your brain. The event is in the past, but the wound can continue to affect you in the present. This understanding is so empowering because it means that we are not defined by what has happened to us. The events of the past may be unchangeable, but the wounds within us can heal.

If you want to understand how trauma lives in the body, The Body Keeps the Score will change everything. *(paid link)*

Dr. Maté also helps us to see that trauma is not always the result of a “big T” traumatic event. He speaks of “little t” traumas, the subtle, often invisible wounds that can accumulate over time. These can be the result of not having our emotional needs met as children, of feeling unseen or unheard, or of growing up in an environment where we didn’t feel safe to be our authentic selves. Think of the child who is consistently told to “stop crying” when they are sad, or the child who is praised for being “good” and compliant, but never allowed to express their anger or frustration. These seemingly small moments can create a deep sense of disconnection from our authentic selves and our emotions. We learn to suppress our feelings, to deny our needs, and to wear a mask in order to be accepted and loved. Over time, this can lead to a intense sense of emptiness, a feeling that something is missing in our lives. Even the most well-meaning parents can unknowingly inflict these wounds, simply because they are carrying their own unresolved trauma. That's not about blame, my loves, but about understanding. It’s about recognizing that we are all part of a chain of human experience, and that the pain of the past can be passed down through generations if we don’t have the courage to face it and heal it within ourselves. ## The Body’s Sacred Memory: Honoring Bessel van der Kolk This brings us to the new work of another giant in the field of trauma, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, and his seminal book, *The Body Keeps the Score*. This title alone is a deep teaching. It reminds us that our bodies are sacred vessels of wisdom and memory. While our conscious minds may try to forget or suppress traumatic experiences, our bodies remember. The fear, the helplessness, the rage ... these emotions are stored in our tissues, our muscles, our nervous systems. What we're looking at is why so many people with a history of trauma experience physical symptoms like chronic pain, digestive issues, and autoimmune disorders. Their bodies are literally crying out for attention, for healing. Dr. van der Kolk explains that when we experience a traumatic event, our brains can become overwhelmed. The part of our brain responsible for rational thought, the prefrontal cortex, can go “offline,” while the more primitive, emotional parts of our brain, like the amygdala, take over. Here's the thing: it's a survival mechanism, designed to help us react quickly in the face of danger. But when the trauma is not processed, our brains can get stuck in this state of hypervigilance. We may find ourselves constantly on edge, easily startled, and unable to relax. Our bodies are flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, which, over time, can have a devastating effect on our physical health. From a spiritual perspective, this is a beautiful testament to the intelligence of our bodies. Our bodies are not our enemies; they are our faithful allies on the path to wholeness. They are constantly communicating with us, sending us signals and messages to guide us back to balance. When we learn to listen to the language of our bodies, we can begin to open up the stories they hold and release the trapped energy of trauma. That's not always an easy process, my friends. It requires courage and a willingness to feel what we have long suppressed. But it is in this sacred communion with our bodies that true healing can begin.

Rose quartz is the stone of unconditional love, keep one close when you are doing heart work. Seriously. This shit works. I carry a chunk in my pocket during intense therapy sessions or when I'm diving deep into old wounds that still sting. The stone doesn't magically fix anything, but it reminds me to stay soft when everything inside wants to armor up. Think about it... when trauma gets triggered, we clench. Our hearts close. Rose quartz is like having a gentle friend whispering "stay open, stay curious" when your nervous system wants to slam the door shut. I learned this the hard way during my own EMDR sessions ~ I'd grip that pink stone so tight my knuckles went white, but somehow it helped me breathe through the worst flashbacks. Know what I mean? It's not about believing in crystal magic or any of that new age nonsense. It's about having a physical anchor that says "you're safe to feel this" when your body is convinced you're about to die. *(paid link)*

## Releasing the Tiger: The Wisdom of Peter Levine So, how do we begin to release this trapped energy from our bodies? That's where the work of Dr. Peter Levine, the creator of Somatic Experiencing, offers us a powerful and gentle path. Dr. Levine was inspired by his observations of animals in the wild. He noticed that even though animals are constantly faced with life-threatening situations, they rarely become traumatized. Why? Because they have an innate ability to discharge the immense energy that is generated in a fight-or-flight response. They literally shake it off. Humans, on the other hand, with our highly developed rational brains, often override this natural instinct. We freeze, we suppress, we tell ourselves to “get over it.” But the energy doesn’t just disappear; it gets locked in our nervous systems, creating the symptoms of trauma. Somatic Experiencing is a gentle, body-based therapy that helps us to complete these self-protective responses and release this trapped energy. It’s not about reliving the trauma, but about creating a safe space for our bodies to do what they instinctively know how to do. Through a process of “titration” and “pendulation,” we gently touch into the sensations of trauma and then back to a place of safety and resource in our bodies. For example, a therapist might ask you to notice a sensation of tightness in your chest, and then guide you to bring your awareness to a place in your body that feels calm and relaxed. This back-and-forth movement helps the nervous system to regulate itself and to integrate the traumatic experience in a new way. It’s a process of befriending our bodies, of learning to trust their innate wisdom, and of reclaiming our sense of aliveness and vitality.

A weighted blanket can feel like a hug from the universe, especially on nights when the mind will not stop. *(paid link)*

## The Path to Healing: A Compassionate Approach As we weave together the wisdom of these three great teachers, a clear and compassionate path to healing emerges. It’s a path that honors the whole person ~ mind, body, and spirit. It’s a path that is rooted in self-compassion, not self-blame. One of the greatest obstacles to healing is shame. We feel ashamed of what happened to us, ashamed of our reactions, ashamed of our inability to “just move on.” But shame is a prison, my friends. It keeps us isolated and disconnected from the love and support that we so desperately need. The first step on the path to healing is to offer ourselves the gift of compassion. To recognize that our responses to trauma were not a sign of weakness, but a sign of our incredible resilience, our innate drive to survive. From this place of self-compassion, we can begin to take gentle, loving steps towards healing. This might include: * **Mindfulness and Body Scans:** Simply bringing a gentle, non-judgmental awareness to the sensations in your body can be a powerful way to start reconnecting with your physical self. You can do this by sitting or lying down in a comfortable position and slowly bringing your attention to each part of your body, from your toes to the top of your head. Notice any sensations of warmth, coolness, tingling, or pressure without judging them or trying to change them. * **Gentle Movement:** Practices like yoga, tai chi, or qigong can help to release tension and restore a sense of flow and ease in the body. These practices combine gentle movement with breath awareness, which can be incredibly soothing for the nervous system. * **The Power of Breath:** Your breath is a powerful anchor to the present moment and a tool for regulating your nervous system. Simply taking a few slow, deep breaths can have a deep calming effect. You can try a simple breathing exercise by inhaling for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of seven, and exhaling for a count of eight. Repeat this several times, allowing your body to relax more deeply with each breath. * **Seeking Professional Support:** There is no shame in asking for help. A skilled, trauma-informed therapist can provide a safe and supportive container for your healing journey. Look for a therapist who specializes in body-based approaches to trauma, such as Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, or Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.

Palo santo has been used for centuries to clear negative energy and invite in the sacred. *(paid link)* The Incas knew something we're just remembering. These ancient cultures didn't have our modern understanding of trauma and the nervous system, but they damn sure knew how to create conditions for healing. Burn this stuff during your healing work and watch how it shifts the room's energy ~ creates space for whatever needs to come up. Your body responds to ritual, even simple ones. Think about that. The smell alone can trigger your parasympathetic nervous system to downshift from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest mode. It's not woo-woo bullshit when you feel the actual change happening in your nervous system. Your breath deepens. Shoulders drop. The trauma work gets easier because your body knows it's safe to feel what's been locked away.

## A Call to Wholeness: Your Invitation to Heal My dear friends, I want to leave you with this message of hope. Healing from trauma is not about erasing the past, but about integrating it into the beautiful fabric of your life. It’s about reclaiming the parts of yourself that you have lost and coming home to the truth of who you are: a whole, resilient, and infinitely lovable being. The path to healing is a journey, not a destination. It will have its ups and downs, its challenges and its triumphs. But you do not have to walk it alone. There is a vast community of healers, teachers, and fellow travelers who are here to support you. And most more to the point, you have within you an innate capacity to heal. Trust in that wisdom. Trust in the power of love. And know that you are worthy of a life filled with joy, peace, and connection. I invite you to take a moment now to place your hands on your heart. Feel the gentle rhythm of your own life force. And in this quiet moment, I invite you to make a commitment to yourself ~ a commitment to honor your own healing journey, to be gentle with yourself, and to celebrate every small step you take towards wholeness. You are a child of the universe, and you are deserving of all the love and healing that this life has to offer. With all my love, Paul Wagner.