The 11 Things I Learned From A Crazy-Ass Witch

By Paul Wagner

It began with an alluring innocence: healing intentions, magical thinking, sacred crystals, herbs and tinctures, farm-to-table meals, stories of the ancient mothers and healers, and chants to Mother Earth. But soon, the paint on the walls began to peel and the shimmer of the crystals began to darken. The illusion evaporated as quickly as it appeared. I met Zoey at a crystal workshop run by a struggling Wiccan priestess who claimed to understand how rocks think. She wrote many books on colors, stones, and weeds, which were quite illuminating - for a time. Let’s call this creative free-thinker “Bliss Witch.” Amid the sparkling reflections of Bliss Witch’s giant amethysts was a selfish, narcissistic sex addict who impressed upon us that we should all be sharing everything all the time because we are all one. Not quite as lovely a sentiment as it might appear, given the gaping black hole that was the soul of this misguided, mystical troll.

I keep palo santo in every room, it is one of my favorite tools for shifting energy. *(paid link)*

The three-day workshop was held in the home of Bliss Witch and her castrated, manipulated, and brainwashed husband. The experience was harmless enough and quite magical at times - full of helpful information on how crystals can be healing and helpful along our journeys. We can even put them on our balls and in our sphincters and vaginas. We held rocks, chanted spiritual show tunes, talked about colors, and did past-life regressions - and then we were told we should all have sex with each other because that’s what enlightened people do. Stay with me here.Yeah, let’s all have sex at a workshop run by a broken healer because that’s how to self-realize and be free of the pain and anguish of this life. Gosh, tell me more! Zoey, a vibrant and sexy 20-year-old indigo child, was quite impressionable, as was I. But, even though I was repressed and broken at the time, I was conscious enough to know that having sex with Zoey, who was in a committed relationship with Bliss Witch’s son Rufus, would be a fucking disaster for everyone involved. I was no saint, but I wasn't about to become a spiritual pimp for some self-proclaimed guru's twisted agenda.

An amethyst cluster on your nightstand can transform the quality of your sleep and dreams. *(paid link)*

I remember sitting with a man who came to me raw from grief, his shoulders tight, his breath shallow like he was trying to hold himself together by force. We worked through the tremors in his body, the shaking that wanted to come but he kept fighting it. It wasn’t about whispering pretty words or lighting candles—it was about letting that nervous system crash and rebuild itself in real time, messy and uncontrollable. That’s where real shifts happen, when you stop trying to fix and start allowing. Years ago, I was deep in a dark night of the soul, stripped of all the tech-world success and ego comforts I once clung to. Sitting in Amma’s darshan, I felt my resistance melt—not because of any fancy ritual or mantra, but because her presence cracked open something in my chest that no intellectual understanding ever could. Those moments forced me to face the raw edges of myself, the parts that no workshop or book had prepared me for. That’s when I stopped chasing ideas and started feeling what was actually alive inside.

This whole debacle, as uncomfortable and frankly, quite disturbing as it was, became a crucible. It was a searing, undeniable lesson in what not to do on the spiritual path, a masterclass in how easily authenticity can be hijacked by ego, delusion, and outright manipulation. It was a stark introduction to the insidious beast that is spiritual bypassing. And from the ashes of that chaotic weekend, a fierce clarity began to emerge within me. These aren't just stories; these are battle scars, etched with wisdom that only comes from confronting the shadow in its most deceptive forms. So, let's get into the raw, unvarnished truth of what I learned from that crazy-ass witch.

If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist, Psychopath Free will help you understand what happened and reclaim your reality. Seriously. This book doesn't just validate your experience ~ it gives you the language to describe the mindfuck you lived through. You know that feeling when you can't trust your own memory anymore? When you're constantly second-guessing yourself? That's not an accident. It's a calculated result. And understanding the mechanics behind that psychological warfare is the first step toward getting your sanity back. The author breaks down the patterns so clearly it's almost scary ~ like someone's been watching your life and taking notes. You'll find yourself nodding along thinking "holy shit, that's exactly what happened." The relief of having someone name the game they were playing with your head? It's worth the price of admission alone. Trust me on this one. *(paid link)*

The Deceptive Lure of Spiritual Bypassing: Unmasking the Illusion

Spiritual bypassing isn't some harmless, feel-good philosophy. It's a spiritual cancer that metastasizes through communities, leaving a trail of unaddressed trauma, unexamined shadows, and ultimately, a real lack of genuine transformation. It's the spiritual equivalent of putting a band-aid on a gaping wound and declaring yourself healed. Bliss Witch was a living, breathing embodiment of this deception, a master illusionist whose sparkle hid a festering core. Her teachings, cloaked in the language of oneness and unconditional love, were nothing more than a thinly veiled justification for her own unexamined dysfunction and predatory behavior. This is why discernment is not just a virtue; it's a spiritual superpower, a non-negotiable tool for anyone serious about their path.

Recognizing the Red Flags of Spiritual Charlatans

It’s easy to get caught up in the allure of someone who speaks in grand, sweeping statements about universal love, cosmic consciousness, and instant enlightenment. But the true measure of a spiritual teacher isn't their rhetoric; it's their integrity, their humility, and their grounded presence. Here is the thing most people miss.Bliss Witch, for all her talk of "we are all one," operated from a place of striking separation, using her perceived spiritual authority to control and exploit. The red flags were there: the insistence on absolute agreement, the subtle shaming of any dissent, the blurring of ethical boundaries under the guise of "transcending duality." If a guru tells you to abandon your common sense, your intuition, or your personal boundaries for the sake of "higher consciousness," run. Run like hell.

"True spiritual awakening isn't about escaping reality; it's about diving headfirst into it, embracing every messy, uncomfortable truth, and integrating it with fierce love."

Why "All Is One" Can Be a Dangerous Mantra

The concept of "all is one" is a real spiritual truth, a realization that can shatter the illusion of separation. But in the hands of a spiritual bypasser, it becomes a weapon. Bliss Witch used "all is one" to justify sexual promiscuity, a lack of personal responsibility, and a complete disregard for individual boundaries. "We are all one, so sharing is caring, even if that means sharing your body, your partner, your resources, your very sense of self without genuine consent or respect." This isn't oneness; it's spiritual gaslighting. Authentic oneness arises from a deeply integrated self, a being so secure in their individuality that they can genuinely connect with the universal. It doesn't mean dissolving into a chaotic, boundary-less soup of unexamined desires.

Lion's mane mushroom is impressive for cognitive clarity and neuroplasticity. *(paid link)*

The 11 Unforgettable Lessons from the Crucible of Chaos

From the ashes of that workshop, I forged these truths. They are not gentle whispers; they are roaring fire, meant to burn away your illusions and illuminate your path to genuine liberation.

1. Authenticity Over Aspiration: The Raw Truth of Your Being

Bliss Witch was all aspiration, no authenticity. She aspired to be enlightened, to be a guru, to be a guide o