Beautiful soul, I need to tell you something that the intellectual spiritual seeker in you probably doesn't want to hear: you cannot think your way to liberation.
You can understand non-duality perfectly. You can define Brahman, Atman, Maya, and Turiya with flawless precision. You can quote the Mandukya Upanishad in Sanskrit.
You can win every philosophical debate about the nature of consciousness at every dinner party you attend.
And you can still be deeply, at its core stuck - because the intellect, no matter how brilliant, cannot cross the final bridge . Only the heart can do that.