The Ultimate Orgasm

Let’s all orgasm as often as possible, shall we? 

We are all looking for the ultimate, phantasmic cum-ination of our desires. We’re all pushing and grasping to be happy. And we love when our bodies experience release. 

We awake every day and venture to bed every day fantasizing about reaching a place of not only comfort and peace but ultimate pleasure.

I knew that the pleasure I was enjoying at the time was limited, so I kept digging.

The more and more I delved into spiritual practices, I would have moments that blew my mind, but it felt like the carrot was always 10 feet in front of me. I knew there were other realms and experiences to be achieved, but I also knew that my desire to achieve these things opposed the path I was embracing.

At the time, I was often consciously leaving my body and engaging in myriad spiritual activities – whereby my spirit was engaging with reality in ways that were not textbook. Other Beings were contacting me, I saw aliens from other dimensions, and I had a ridiculous amount of light coming through my hands, which was helpful to some – and alarming to others. I was a diamond in the rough.

My level of electricity was quite alarming, and I was a bit wild. While it wasn’t a time of awareness and decency (I was clearly a work in progress), I was earnest in seeking the highest good and the most vibrant light.

I met Amma, The Hugging Saint, in a tiny room in Cambridge, MA, where I immediately fell to the floor in worship. Later, I opened her retreats with playful, spiritual lectures. I studied the teachings of Chogyam Trungpa and Osho. At the time, I was a children’s TV show host and traveling comedian, and for years felt a conflict within me around being in the world while knowing what it was like to be around Amma – there was nothing more illuminating. 

I was itchin’ to evolve but I had a ways to go-  from Oversexed Comedic Yogi to Bearer Of Light. 

Tantric Sex

I was fascinated by the idea of channeling my energy rather than depleting it. While it took me years to achieve, I was later able to channel my sexual energy upwards from the root chakra through to the crown and beyond – all with orgasms at each chakra and without ejaculating. I loved the energy tantric sex gave me. Without the release, my body vibrated and attracted great success – and over time, my third eye burst open.

It’s better than pizza. 

While the intuition and psychic abilities that emerge are quite wonderful, they pale in comparison to the sense of divinity one can achieve through the process of moving the kundalini upwards in the body.

Given the tingling from each mini energy burst (orgasm) in the chakras as the kundalini rises to the crown, it’s something I’ve continued and appreciated throughout my whole life.

Even so, for a long while, I was still identifying with the body, not the All That Is.

I know that sounds a bit lofty, but it’s quite real – and yes, achievable.

We are continually seeking pleasure – and that’s a good thing. 

By seeking pleasure, we seek The Divine – possibly a transconditional reality – whereby, whatever is happening in our lives, regardless of the circumstances, we become present to joy of spirit and body – or we embody bliss. We know this is possible because our essence, our Being, our electromagnetic sets of memory impressions, have experienced it before, either in other realms or other lives. Or in parallel! 

I’m not talking about what happens in college when we experiment with our pinkies and various holes – I’m referring to other-worldly experiences.

We might believe that our memory of divine bliss involves the human body, but it doesn’t.

It’s incredible how each of us can fool ourselves.

The False Tantra

Let’s get into the mechanics of tantras.

The Kama Sutra, written by Vatsyayana Mallanaga, is primarily concerned with kama, one of the four aims of traditional human life in Hindu philosophy. It deals with desire, love, relationships, and sexual intercourse. While it is not based in the non-dualistic principles found in the ancient Advaita Vedanta or the Buddhist Noble truths, for a time, it became a manual for dualistic, holistic, if not, hedonistic living.

Tantras are a genre of religious scriptures found in Hinduism and Buddhism covering a wide range of topics, including philosophy, rituals, prayers, yogas, and styles of worship. 

The confusion between the word “tantra” and “tantric sex” stems from a combination of cultural misinterpretations, oversimplifications, influencer hype and misdirection, and the sensationalization around a tiny insignificant sexual discourse found in the outskirts of the more sacred traditions. In short, people in the west twisted the concept of Tantras because we prefer sex over enlightenment.

The Real Tantra

“Tantric yoga” focuses specifically on yogic techniques for spiritual growth that have nothing to do with sex. These techniques move the Qi (Chi) or Kundalini upward to heal our spirits and illuminate our souls.

Some call the kundalini a “sexual energy” – which is misleading. It’s energy – that’s it. Too many “Tantric sex” phonies are our there trying to convince you that their sex addiction is sacred – and it’s not. 

People who become involved in “tantric sex” cum to believe that sex is the most important part of that technology – but that’s the farthest thing from the truth. 

The most important aspect is the Qi – the life force. Our furry, moist, and erect parts have little or nothing to do with the sacred nature or results of the Qi’s movement throughout our systems.

Tantric Yoga deals with the breath and spirit beyond what we might call “pleasure.” This is the REAL TANTRA.

Today’s Tantra Teachers

There are many “tantra” teachers out there professing the embodiment of divine bliss through sex, sharing only the glittering and ejaculatory aspects of these ancient teachings, thereby creating karma for themselves – and all the while misleading you.

Pleasure can be seen in the Sanskrit word Ananda (Joy), which has an embedded illusory emotion, and in the transcendent form of pleasure – bliss, found in the Sanskrit word Paramananda. This points to a divine fulfillment on the path to illumination and enlightenment. 

In this sense, tantra or sacred practices that do not require the body’s fulfillment can be seen as phenomenal ways to embody pure, unrelenting paramananda. 

The sexual juices that flow from our bodies and the elation that results from our achievement of desires are tied to our bodies, not our spirits. After all, our desires are temporary and can only invite roller coasters of suffering.

Let’s Do Tantric Sex!

Tantric Sex occurs through mutual manual masturbation or consensual penetration. 

During the tantric act of intercourse (all sexual activity with a partner is intercourse – the interplay between two sets of energies), we use breath to move the kundalini up from the root chakra to the other chakras. 

Amid the intercourse, we imagine a specific colored light at each energy point, and through breath, we achieve not an externally manifested ejaculation, but a pleasurable energy release through each chakra. 

This, for a moment, can feel orgasmic – and it is. 

It’s a form of pleasure that feels ultimate and divine for a brief burst of time – but only because we tie our divine pleasure to the body, which is unnecessary. Pure Tantra does not require enmeshment with another soul – or their furry parts.

In fact, it’s far more illuminating if you can learn to move your kundalini up and down your spine through yoga and breath. In this way, you experience a less codependent healing and release in your chakras – without being bound to another. 

Many of today’s tantra teachers are ejaculating like race horses, and encouraging the same – as if that’s the whole point. It’s not.

Yes, tantra – sacred practices – are quite wonderful, but most tantric sex teachings fail to have integrity. They also require a lot of time – and who has that kinda time?  

Tantric sex has become yet another device that deters you from knowing who you are – like a dildo, rubber vagina, sex doll, or other mechanical and illusory devices used for personal pleasure. 

These things only add to the cycle of Samsara – and are often more confusing, debilitating, restrictive, and alienating than we might assume. 

How lonely do you have to be to buy batteries to fuel your bliss? 

Dive deeper and get to the root of your loneliness. Get up early, instead, and put your batteries in a flashlight, so you can find your way to a carpeted area of your home.

Now, get on the floor and start breathing deeply, meditating, and doing yoga. If your pants are always on fire, get into Kundalini Yoga. It’s phenomenal for unlocking everything related to loneliness, blocked emotions, the roots of trauma, overly kinky behavior, and the things that hold us back.

What Is Transconditional?

Even the momentary experiences of satisfying simple pleasures or mundane desires can invite enough joy to fool us into thinking that we’ve transcended something. Though, we have not.

We may have captured, for a moment, a spark of divine energy, but we have not embodied it. We may, for a time, have forgotten all that ails us, but we have not transcended it. 

By the way, I’m not saying do not masturbate, ejaculate, or orgasm in the traditional sense. I’m suggesting a better, more spiritualized, more energizing, and healthier way to engage your life force and all of your body’s related energies and requisite juices.

So, where is my orgasm? 

Hint: it has nothing to do with oral sex, penetration, or manual stimulation of the tip or clit.

What, then, is the ultimate tantra or technology that will illuminate me into a concaving, coalescing, explosive, wild state of release?

Consider the essence of your Being far beyond the physical and mental layers that you often mistake for your true Self. Explore deeper practices that help you detach from the superficial layers of reality. Seek unconditional joy – paramananda.

The quest for the ultimate tantra or technology is, in essence, a journey inward, a navigation through the layers of Self that leads to an explosive release not bound by conventional understandings of pleasure or satisfaction. It is about finding that core of stillness and unbounded ecstasy within, which does not depend on external stimuli – but is a natural state of Being. 

Dismantle your many layers of conditioning, expectation, and attachment that cloud your perception and hinder your ability to experience pure bliss. 

This is not a $50 workshop on Instagram – it’s a process that requires patience, dedication, and a willingness to embrace the unknown, ultimately leading to a state of being where happiness and fulfillment are not conditional but are intrinsic to your very essence.

When we move our kundalini upward through Sadhana (spiritual practices), we experience a serene, profound illumination whereby we can go through a whole day entrenched in divine bliss – loving all aspects that we encounter. This is your birthright.

The Spirituality Two-Step

We are all dancing around the spiritual practices that have been shared with us since the beginning of time. We quote gurus and masters, and we go back to buying Teslas and Rivians, which comprise the perfect embodiment of exactly what no one needs.

We might meditate or chant for a moment, but in the next moment, we’re drawn back into the whirlwind of consumer culture, captivated by the latest symbols of status that signify success in the material world. This juxtaposition highlights a fundamental tension within many of us: the desire to live spiritually fulfilling lives while navigating the demands and temptations of contemporary society.

The calling, then, is to engage with the world in a way that enriches rather than detracts from spiritual growth, using the insights and practices of ancient spiritual teachings and masters to navigate the complexities of modern life.

By consciously integrating spiritual principles into our daily lives, we inch closer to knowing who we are and what reality comprises.

But Wait – What About My Orgasm?

We are all obsessed with our orgasms, but truly, to move the kundalini upward in the body, without release, gives us the energy we need to embody a divine consciousness and become vessels of love and light throughout the day, week, month, year, or longer. 

Every spark we withhold and put to work for our betterment and the betterment of humanity dissolves our karma and gives us more resolute and everlasting joy.

In today’s world, where achieving the Big O can seem like a competitive sport, complete with its own commentary and instant replays, the ancient art of kundalini yoga and yogic breathing offer a less… climactic approach to ecstasy. 

While many are on the hunt for that explosive moment of joy, there exists a more sublime and, dare we say, electrifying way to channel that energy.

I promise you – once your energy is harnessed, the results are quite lovely and remarkable. You move through the day with extraordinary sparks of light and love. You resolve tension more quickly. You sense into other people’s feelings and positions with great empathy and awareness. You nurture more and think less. And you more easily access, allow, and release emotions to produce a more clear state of mind and heart. 

To the naysayers, I’ll add this: This process can be challenging and it’s not always perfect. Sometimes you feel the need to clean the pipes, so you do. I’m just suggesting there are far better ways to toss your energy pellets.

Capture All The Spark You Can!

Instead of letting the fireworks explode and fizzle out, then napping until the morning alarm goes off, gently coax your kundalini serpent up your spine, and teach it to climb like a skilled acrobat, all the while keeping the grand finale at bay. 

This isn’t about turning your back on fleeting pleasures; it’s about becoming a spiritual powerhouse – one who electro-magnifies and projects their essence through the day.

By rerouting your inner sparkles to light up your chakras, you’re not just hoarding joy – you’re becoming a mobile disco ball of divine consciousness. 

The next time you’re chasing the dragon of ephemeral, fantastical ecstasy, remember: 

Through the process of kundalini yoga and moving your consciousness and energy upward to the crown Chakra, you become a supernova – a pulsating, light-emanating, enduring, and stable cluster of stars.

The real party is not in your pants – it’s at the base of your spine, where it lights up your soul, dissolves your karma, and turns you into a beacon of love and light, emanating the pure essence that created The Cosmos.