Pooping Rainbows: The Story Of Every Misguided Influencer

In the bountiful carnival of modern-day spiritual enlightenment, where every other influencer waxes eloquent about their mystical communion with the cosmos, we find a peculiar phenomenon: the self-appointed gurus whose bowel movements are as colorful as their narratives. 

They declare with a theatrical flourish that they poop rainbows—oh yes, rainbows! 

Step aside, mundane muggles; the Enlightened Ones are here to convert your drab existence into a kaleidoscopic fantasy.

Imagine the scene: Chad Lumino, our quintessential spiritual influencer (a delightfully fabricated persona), stands before a crowd, his aura photoshopped to celestial perfection. 

He proclaims, “I’ve transcended material desires to such an extent that money now flows to me effortlessly as an expression of the universe’s abundance.” His followers, eyes wide with wonder, nod enthusiastically, their wallets just aching to be opened. But what lurks behind those rainbow-tinted glasses?

The Grandiose Facade

At the heart of Chad’s persona lies a grandiose self-image so inflated it could float alongside Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloons. Chad, like many in his cadre, genuinely believes he is a beacon of divine wisdom in a sea of spiritual amateurs. This isn’t just confidence—it’s spiritual narcissism, where every uttered word is believed to drip with cosmic significance.

In the hallowed echo chambers of social media, where likes equate to spiritual ‘amens,’ Chad’s proclamations like “Connect with me to unlock your divine potential and manifest the life you’ve always dreamed of” sound less like genuine guidance and more like a sales pitch crafted in the ethereal workshops of spiritual capitalism.

Denial and Delusion

Despite their public veneer of enlightenment, these influencers often lead lives riddled with stark contradictions. Publicly denouncing materialism while privately indulging in the very luxuries they supposedly transcend, they embody the very essence of hypocrisy. They rationalize, justify, and dance around the truth with the agility of a seasoned politician.

Chad tells his disciples, “Only when you learn to see the universe in a grain of sand, as I have, will you grasp the infinite wisdom of existence.” Yet, his own understanding seems superficial, tethered to the visibility of his brand rather than the depth of his insights. This selective blindness shields him from his flaws and buffers his ego against the harsh realities of genuine self-awareness.

The Crutch of External Validation

While espousing doctrines of inner completeness and the irrelevance of worldly validation, our influencers lean heavily on the crutch of public adoration. Precariously tied to their follower count and engagement rates, their spiritual worth is as unstable as a house of cards in a breeze. This dependency belies their claims of detachment and self-sufficiency, revealing a deep-seated insecurity. 

As they declare their cosmic conversations and transcendent meditations, one can’t help but wonder: if a guru tweets enlightenment in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Manipulation Masquerading as Guidance

Dive deeper into the murky waters of Chad’s world, and you’ll find the undercurrents of manipulation. Promises of unparalleled spiritual awakening and threats of eternal ignorance are doled out with the same casualness as a street vendor hawking hot dogs. 

“Join our community where we live as enlightened beings, free from the illusions of pain and suffering that ensnare the ordinary mind,” he beckons. Behind closed doors, the only thing he’s freeing himself from is a sense of ethical responsibility.

The Existential Dread of Ordinariness

Underneath the glittering surface, there lies an abyss of existential dread—the terror of being just another ordinary Joe. This fear drives our rainbow-poopers to concoct ever more outrageous claims. Their narratives spiral, their spiritual stunts grow wilder, and their declarations more outlandish. The mantra becomes, “I don’t just meditate; I merge with the cosmos and converse with the ancients. Learn my techniques to experience these transcendent realities.”

Yet, this theatrical display of enlightenment is as flimsy as a set on a B-movie. The real cosmic joke? They’re peddling spiritual snake oil, and business is booming.

A Call to Genuine Awakening

So, dear reader, as we pull back the curtain on this dazzling display of deluded divinity, let us not be too harsh on our misguided influencers—they are but products of a society that conflates visibility with value, and profundity with popularity. Instead, let us look upon them with a compassionate chuckle and turn inward, to the quiet, unglamorous work of true spiritual seeking. It’s a journey devoid of rainbows but rich with genuine insight—a path less Instagrammed but deeply fulfilling.

Let’s choose the road less traveled, the one that winds through the rugged terrains of self-discovery, away from the neon lights of performative enlightenment. After all, the true colors of our spirit need no filter, and the only followers we really need on this journey are our own footsteps in the sand.

The Ancient Teachings

Advaita Vedanta, one of the classic Indian paths to spiritual wisdom, teaches the non-dualistic philosophy that the individual self and the universal self are one and the same. 

According to this tradition, the ultimate goal of human life is to achieve moksha, or liberation, which is the realization of one’s true nature as absolutely identical with Brahman, the eternal essence of reality that is pure consciousness. This realization comes when one awakens to the illusions created by maya, the cosmic force that manifests as the material world and personal ego, obscuring the true self which is non-dual and infinite.

Awakening to these illusions is a profound and often challenging journey. It involves piercing through the layers of misconceptions and false identities that cloud our understanding. Each individual tends to identify with aspects of existence like the body, the mind, personal memories, and the ego—all of which are transient and not reflective of the true self. 

In Advaita Vedanta, the process of self-inquiry, as taught by the sage Adi Shankaracharya, is crucial. By consistently questioning “Who am I?” and discerning what is eternal from what is ephemeral, a seeker can gradually peel away the layers of illusion.

Using tools like the Shankara Oracle can be a transformative part of this journey. The Shankara Oracle is not a traditional element of Advaita Vedanta but can be seen as a modern method to facilitate the path to enlightenment. It operates much like other systems of divination or reflection prompts, helping individuals to reflect deeply on spiritual principles and personal insights.

The oracle could offer thought-provoking aphorisms or guiding questions that align with Vedantic teachings, urging a reflective process that challenges the seeker’s current perceptions and encourages deeper inquiry into their true nature.

The process of engaging with such an oracle involves a meditative contemplation of each message or sign received. This can aid in dissolving the attachments to false identities and deepen the understanding of one’s underlying unity with Brahman. As these insights are integrated, the individual may begin to experience a profound sense of wholeness and healing, recognizing that all divisions and separations were merely illusions.

In practical terms, integrating the insights from the Shankara Oracle into daily life means observing how we interact with our world and questioning the reality of the distinctions we perceive. Every moment becomes an opportunity to practice seeing oneself and others as expressions of the same infinite reality, transcending the superficial differences that appear to divide us. This leads to a life lived with greater compassion, peace, and a profound sense of fulfillment, marking the passage toward true illumination—where one is fully aware of oneself as part of the boundless whole, beyond all forms of duality.

Emotions & Healing

Emotions play a crucial role in our psychological and spiritual lives, serving as indicators of our deepest truths and the misalignments between our inner reality and external circumstances. Allowing and releasing our emotions is not just an act of self-expression; it is a transformative practice that aids in dissolving illusions and fosters a clearer understanding of ourselves.

In many cultural, familial, and religious contexts, there is a tendency to suppress emotions. This suppression is often based on the belief that certain emotions are undesirable or unacceptable. For example, anger might be labeled destructive, and sadness might be seen as a sign of weakness. 

However, when we deny or suppress our emotions, we deny part of our reality, contributing to the creation of an illusion—a false self that conforms to external expectations but does not reflect our true inner state. This self-censorship distorts our perception and understanding of who we are, encasing us in a shell of inauthenticity.

Allowing ourselves to truly feel and release our emotions can be seen as a form of truth-telling where we acknowledge and accept our inner experiences as they are. This acceptance is the first step in dissolving the layers of personal and societal conditioning that obscure our true selves. As we learn to navigate our emotional landscapes without judgment, we start to see the links between our feelings and the constructed narratives we live by—narratives shaped by family expectations, societal norms, and religious doctrines.

By engaging with our emotions directly and openly, we confront these narratives. We may realize, for example, that our guilt over not fulfilling a family role is more about family expectations than our own desires, or that our fear of judgment stems from oppressive societal norms rather than our true self-expression. Understanding these connections allows us to challenge and eventually cast off these outdated paradigms, freeing us from their constraints.

As the illusions fall away, we move closer to living authentically. Authentic living means making choices that are aligned with our true selves, expressing ourselves honestly, and forging relationships that genuinely reflect our values and desires. It also involves creating a personal value system based not on imposed beliefs but on our genuine understanding of what is meaningful and beneficial for us and our community.

Furthermore, embracing and releasing our emotions helps alleviate the burden of unnecessary guilt and the limits of an oppressed mind. It paves the way for a life that is not only more fulfilling but also more resilient, as we are no longer expending energy to maintain false selves or to live up to unattainable standards. Instead, our energy is devoted to pursuing what truly resonates with our essence, enabling us to contribute to the world in a more impactful and positive way.

In sum, allowing and releasing our emotions is not just about emotional health; it is a radical act of reclaiming our reality. It is about shedding the weight of false narratives and restrictive paradigms to reveal and revel in the truth of our unique existence, fostering a life of freedom and authentic joy.

Get The Shankara Oracle and dramatically improve your perspective, relationships, authentic Self, and life.