Your anger has a message. Are you ready to listen?
We’ve been conditioned to think that anger is a problem. This raw, primal emotion is often relegated to the shadows and seen as undesirable, disruptive, and even “un-spiritual”.
Society bombards us with messages that encourage us to suppress our anger, to slap on a placid facade to mask the turbulence beneath the surface.
In a world that incessantly preaches the virtues of tranquility and harmony, the raw, primal emotion of anger is often relegated to the shadows, deemed an undesirable and disruptive force. We are constantly bombarded with messages encouraging us to suppress our anger, to maintain a placid facade that masks the turbulent emotions that churn beneath the surface. But this relentless pursuit of artificial peace comes at a steep price – the sacrifice of our authenticity and the stifling of our emotional growth.
But in reality, allowing and embracing is the first step to releasing suppressed anger. Anger carries a potent energy that demands to be acknowledged!
If you can sit with your anger and hold space for it without judgement, you’ll be on the path to being a real, healed and truly f*cking authentic human being!
This isn’t an easy-breezy process. The visceral nature of anger makes it an uncomfortable emotion to confront. Whether it manifests as a fiery rage, a simmering resentment, or even a quiet discontent, we often go to great lengths to avoid feeling it. We suppress and stifle our anger so that we can maintain the (false) peaceful persona that we are taught to present to the world.
This stifling does NOTHING for our spiritual development. The relentless pursuit of artificial peace comes at a steep price – the sacrifice of our authenticity and emotional growth.
Understanding Why We Suppress Our Anger
First of all, let’s talk about the false peaceful persona that I mentioned earlier. There is a common misunderstanding that peace equals the absence of conflict.
But true peace isn’t a serene state free from emotional turbulence. It isn’t the eradication of all emotions – this idealized version of “peace” isn’t only unattainable; it’s detrimental to our well-being.
In actuality, true peace is not the eradication of all emotions. It’s the ability to navigate them with wisdom and compassion.
When we try to conform to society’s expectations of immaculate peace and tranquility, we end up suppressing our “uglier” emotions, burying our anger deep inside. Yet, beneath this carefully crafted exterior, a storm rages, its energy building up over time.
The Cost of Suppressing Our Anger
When we reject and suppress our anger, we deny ourselves the opportunity to understand its roots, its triggers and its purpose. This denial is a major roadblock on the path to emotional liberation.
The False Self
One of the most damaging effects of suppressing anger is the creation of a false self – a carefully curated persona designed to please others and avoid conflict. We become experts at masking our true feelings so that we can present a polished, agreeable facade.
This false self may win us approval and social validation in the short term, but it comes at a cost. We lose touch with who we really are, become disconnected from our emotions, and our boundaries begin to blur.
The Shattered Persona
But no facade lasts forever. At some point, something or someone will trigger our anger. This can feel like looking into a mirror that we didn’t ask for, as our carefully constructed persona begins to crack.
This can feel jarring and even terrifying, because it challenges the identity that we’ve built. If we have spent years believing that we are peaceful, easygoing, and above conflict, facing our anger can feel like a personal failure.
We may feel ashamed, guilty, or even enraged – blaming the situation or person that exposed us, rather than acknowledging the truth – that the anger was already within us to begin with.
Anger is a Messenger and a Catalyst!
We are taught that allowing ourselves to feel anger is destructive and dangerous. We may fear that embracing our anger will lead us to lose control, surrender to chaos and even descend into madness.
However, anger isn’t the enemy. Anger is a messenger. When we give ourselves permission to feel our anger fully, without judgement or shame, we create an incredibly powerful space for healing and transformation.
Anger shines a light on the parts of our lives that need attention – the relationships that need healing, the patterns that need breaking, and the injustices that need to be addressed. When we stop resisting anger and instead listen to its message, it can fuel our passion, ignite our creativity, and empower us to stand up for what we believe in.
How Releasing Pent Up Anger Heals Our Relationships
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that expressing our anger makes us unworthy of love and connection.
Love doesn’t mean suppressing our emotions just to keep the peace. When people demand that we silence our anger, what they’re really saying is “I only accept you when you make me feel comfortable.”
Genuine love doesn’t fear anger; it makes space for it. It allows us to be fully human, with all the messiness and complexity that entails.
When we release the shame around our anger, our relationships will upgrade. Our connections become deeper and more authentic, and we allow ourselves to set boundaries around the connections that no longer align with us.
Now, how do we actually release suppressed anger, and what does the process look like?
Healthy Ways to Embrace and Release Anger
Acknowledging and embracing our anger isn’t about losing control or lashing out – it’s about channeling it in a way that leads to self-awareness, self-compassion and personal growth. Anger is powerful energy, and when directed intentionally, it can be a powerful force for transformation.
1. Recognize and accept your anger
- Instead of suppressing your anger, speak it out loud: “I feel angry because…”
- Pay close attention to the physical sensations in your body. What does this anger feel and look like inside you? Tune into your body and sit with your anger intentionally.
- While doing this, remind yourself that anger is not inherently bad. It’s just another emotion asking for your attention, so listen to it.
2. Express your anger in a healthy way
- Physical activity can help release pent-up anger. Go for a run or punch a pillow!
- Express your anger through creativity. Writing in a journal can be incredibly therapeutic, and if you have any other creative outlet, such as painting or playing an instrument – use it!
- Have conversations with trusted family and friends who are able to hold space for your anger.
- Express your feelings honestly, yet in a non-destructive way.
3. Turn your anger into insight
- Once you have expressed your anger, set aside some time for self-inquiry. What is your anger trying to teach you?
- Handling anger in a healthy way means recognizing that anger is not an enemy, but a teacher to be embraced. Is your anger trying to tell you about unmet needs, unresolved conflicts, or violated boundaries?
The Journey Towards Emotional Liberation
When you stop viewing anger as a thing to be suppressed, and instead listen to its wisdom, you open yourself to profound growth and healing. This is how we find true emotional liberation.
Embracing your anger can be challenging if you’ve suppressed it all your life. Many people are not aware that they are angry at all, especially if they have been trained from a very young age that anger is an inappropriate emotion.
Articulating our experiences and learning how to embrace our emotions in healthy ways is freeing, healing and empowering. If you need support on your journey, you can book an intuitive reading with me to explore what’s underneath your anger and help you reconnect with your authentic self.
