The Truth About Expanding From 3D To 5D And 7D Consciousness

 

Many people online talk about 3D, 5D, and 7D consciousness as if they were train stations you can buy a ticket to. Most of the language has been watered down into clichés – “Raise your vibration, shift into 5D, ascend to 7D” – as if higher dimensions were just the spiritual version of a new iPhone upgrade. 

The truth about expanding from 3D to 7D is not so marketable. It is fierce, demanding, and deeply humbling. It is not about chasing bliss. It is about dissolving illusions. It is about facing the ancestral compression that keeps you bound in cycles of fear, trauma, and identity.


What 3D Consciousness Means

When people say “3D consciousness,” they usually mean the level of awareness rooted in survival and material identity. This is the dimension where you believe you are only the body, only the story, only the accumulation of what you can measure and control. It is the dimension of scarcity, power struggles, competition, and fear.

3D is not inherently evil. It is simply the most contracted state of consciousness. It is necessary for survival. But staying stuck in 3D means you live as if you are a pawn in a hostile universe, grasping at control while being driven by inherited wounds.


What Is 5D Dimension – And What It Is Thought To Be

The term “5D” has become a spiritual buzzword. For many, it means love, unity, compassion, or awakening. In truth, what most people call 5D is the first taste of nonduality – the recognition that you are not separate, that consciousness itself is your true nature, and that love is not sentimental but the essence of reality.

However, the danger is turning 5D into a bypass. Many people use “unity consciousness” as an excuse to ignore pain, suppress trauma, and pretend that everything is light. This is not expansion. It is denial. True 5D awareness includes both light and shadow, both bliss and grief. It is a deeper intimacy with reality, not a detour around it.

What Is 7D Consciousness – And What It Means To Live In The 7D Dimension

7D consciousness is often described as higher awareness, cosmic unity, or god-realization. But if we are honest, no words can capture it. Expanding into 7D means you are dissolving the fundamental illusion of individuality. It is the recognition that even the one who thinks they are enlightened is still an illusion. In 7D, the game of seeker and sought collapses.

This does not mean you disappear from the world. It means the world is seen as play – the divine Self manifesting as everything. 

To live in this awareness while still functioning as a human being is rare, radical, and destabilizing to the ego. It is not a goal to achieve. It is a collapse of the one who was trying to achieve.

The Path From 3D Consciousness to 7D Consciousness Is Not Linear

People imagine the path as a ladder – you climb from 3D consciousness to 4D consciousness to 5D consciousness and so on. But consciousness does not evolve in this way. Expansion is cyclical, spiraling, unpredictable. You may touch 7D awareness in a moment of meditation and then collapse back into 3D panic when you check your bank account. This is normal.

Expansion is not about staying in one dimension forever. It is about loosening the grip of contraction so you can move fluidly, touching higher awareness without being enslaved by lower fears. Spiritual maturity is not permanent 7D bliss. It is the ability to move between dimensions without losing awareness of the field beneath them all.


The Role of Trauma and Ancestral Compression In Expanding From 3D Consciousness

The biggest obstacle to expansion is not that you do not meditate enough. It is the unhealed trauma and ancestral compression you carry. Your lineage may have endured war, famine, betrayal, abuse, or humiliation.

Those compressions live in your nervous system. They keep you bound to 3D survival consciousness even when your mind longs for 5D love or 7D unity.

This is why expansion cannot be faked. You cannot chant your way into 7D while refusing to face your grief. You cannot bypass the rage of your ancestors by declaring yourself ascended. Real expansion requires sitting in the fire – feeling the hidden wounds, letting them surface, and dissolving them in the field of awareness. Only then can you move beyond the gravity of 3D fear.

The Discipline of Surrender 

Expanding from 3D to 7D is that it is less about effort and more about surrender. The harder you try to force yourself upward, the more you reinforce the illusion of separation. The path requires discipline, yes  – but it is the discipline of letting go.

Meditation, prayer, breathwork, herbs, and rituals are all helpful – not as ladders to climb, but as ways of loosening the grip of illusion. The real expansion happens in surrender, when you stop chasing dimensions and allow awareness to reveal itself as already whole.

Practical Practices for Expansion

    • Meditation on the field: Sit in silence and rest in the awareness behind thought. This grounds you beyond dimensions.
    • Trauma release work: Let the body express and release stored energy. Do not bypass grief or rage.
    • Self-inquiry: Ask “Who is aware of this experience?” Let the question dissolve the false self.
    • Plant allies: Herbs like polygala or blue lotus can shift frequency and open access to higher states. They are not shortcuts but allies.
    • Sacred service: Act in the world from love rather than fear. Service dissolves ego more effectively than endless seeking of experiences.

Signs of Genuine Expansion From 3D Consciousness

Real expansion does not look like floating on a cloud of bliss. It looks like:

    • Greater self-honesty.
    • Less attachment to external validation.
    • The ability to hold paradox without collapsing.
    • Increased compassion rooted in strength, not sentimentality.
    • A quiet trust in life, even in chaos.

These are signs that you are not escaping 3D but integrating it while opening into higher awareness.

False Ascension To 5D Or 7D Consciousness 

The greatest danger in all of this talk of dimensions is the fantasy of permanent ascension. Many seekers convince themselves that they have transcended 3D forever.

They start speaking in jargon, floating above reality, disconnected from their bodies and responsibilities. This is spiritual inflation. It is another mask of ego.

The truth is simpler and harder. You will cycle. You will contract. You will expand. The point is not to cling to a dimension but to recognize the field that holds them all. That is the true expansion – the realization that every state, from fear to bliss, arises in the same awareness.


Expanding Beyond Dimensions

Expanding from 3D to 7D is not a linear upgrade. It is a process of dissolving illusions, healing trauma, and surrendering to the field. It is about facing the heaviness of survival consciousness without denial, tasting unity without bypass, and allowing even the idea of dimensions to collapse into the truth of the Self.

The truth is that you were never limited to 3D. You were never separate from 7D.

You were always the field itself, playing as frequencies of contraction and expansion. The only shift that matters is realizing this.

When you know the Self, dimensions lose their grip. You are free – not because you ascended, but because you stopped pretending you were trapped.




About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Spiritual Signs You Are On The Right Path

Image showing someone walking on their spiritual path and growing in light

Image showing someone walking on their spiritual path and growing in light

As seekers, we want confirmation that we are progressing, that the meditation practice is working, that the rituals mean something, and that we are not wasting our lives chasing illusions.

The truth is that the spiritual path is not a checklist. It does not hand you a certificate. It tests you, strips you, and demands that you face the unknown.

Still, there are spiritual signs that reveal whether you are aligned, and they are more profound than angel numbers, repeating digits, or superficial symbols that dominate new-age content.

7 Spiritual Signs You Are On The Right Path

The First Spiritual Sign You Are On The Right Path: Increasing Discomfort

Strangely, one of the strongest spiritual signs you are on the right path is discomfort. When you are genuinely evolving, your old habits no longer satisfy you, your false identities begin to crumble, and your hidden wounds rise to the surface. You may feel more lost than before, but that is because the old illusions are being burned away. Comfort often means stagnation. Discomfort means transformation.

If you find yourself questioning everything you once believed, losing interest in old circles, or feeling the weight of ancestral compression surfacing in your body, take heart. This is not regression. It is purification.

The Second Spiritual Sign You Are On The Right Path: Fierce Self-Honesty

A real spiritual path makes lying to yourself impossible. You start noticing the small betrayals you once justified. You see how often you manipulated to be loved, how often you sacrificed truth for comfort, and how much of your life was built on denial. At first this honesty feels brutal. It can lead to shame or despair. But over time, it becomes liberation.

Fierce self-honesty is a spiritual sign of maturity. It means you are no longer content with illusions, no longer willing to play the game of self-deception. It is a sign that the path is working because you cannot hide from yourself anymore.

The Third Spiritual Sign You Are On The Right Path: Boundaries Rooted in Love

Another spiritual sign you are on the right path is that your boundaries become clear and uncompromising. This does not come from bitterness. It comes from love. You stop allowing toxic relationships, exploitative employers, or manipulative friends to drain you. You realize that saying no is as sacred as saying yes.

This shift reflects deeper healing. As ancestral wounds dissolve, you stop repeating cycles of self-abandonment. You no longer carry the desperation of your lineage that begged for scraps of attention or tolerated abuse. You step into self-respect, and that self-respect reshapes your world.

The Fourth Spiritual Sign You Are On The Right Path: Loss of Interest in Performance

On the spiritual path, one of the clearest signs of alignment is that you lose interest in performing. You do not care as much about impressing others with your spirituality. You stop needing to display how awakened, disciplined, or wise you are. Instead, you are content with quiet, private practice.

This loss of performance is important because the ego is clever. It can turn spirituality into a costume. But when you let go of performance, your practice becomes authentic. You meditate not to be admired but to be free. You tell the truth not to look holy but because lies corrode the soul.

The Fifth Spiritual Sign You Are On The Right Path: Paradox Becomes Bearable

One of the strongest spiritual signs you are on the right path is your ability to live with paradox. In the beginning, the mind demands certainty – good or bad, right or wrong, light or dark. But as you mature, you realize reality is not so simple. You can feel deep grief and joy at the same time. You can love someone and walk away. You can pursue goals while being unattached to outcomes.

When paradox becomes bearable, it means you are moving closer to the truth of Advaita Vedanta – the nondual recognition that reality is not divided. This acceptance of paradox is a hallmark of true spiritual growth.

The Sixth Spiritual Sign You Are On The Right Path: Healing Becomes Natural

When you are aligned spiritually, healing begins to flow naturally through your life. Old patterns that once seemed immovable begin to dissolve. Addictions loosen their grip. Trauma releases. Relationships shift. This does not mean you live without struggle. It means the struggles no longer feel meaningless. They become part of the purification.

You may notice that ancestral compression softens. Where your family carried fear, you begin to embody courage. Where your lineage carried silence, you begin to speak. Where generations lived in scarcity, you begin to trust abundance. These shifts are not coincidences. They are spiritual signs that your path is liberating not only you but also your bloodline.

The Seventh Spiritual Sign You Are On The Right Path: Gratitude Without Reason

Perhaps the most subtle spiritual sign you are on the right path is the emergence of gratitude without reason. You may be walking through pain, failure, or uncertainty, and yet you feel a quiet thankfulness simply for being alive. This gratitude does not depend on external success. It is not tied to things going your way. It is a natural byproduct of dissolving ego and aligning with the Self.

Gratitude without reason is a sign that you are tasting reality beyond conditions. You are glimpsing the freedom that is your true nature.

The Meaning Of Spiritual Signs

It is important to remember that looking for spiritual signs can itself become a trap. If you cling to them, you turn the path into another performance.

The real purpose of signs is not to validate your ego but to remind you of your direction. They are markers, not trophies.

The ego always wants proof. The spirit does not. The Self needs no confirmation because it was never lost. But as humans, we benefit from signs that show us when we are aligned, and these are not the shallow symbols of popular culture but the deep shifts in honesty, boundaries, paradox, and love.

How To Look For Spiritual Signs You’Re On The Right Path

Spiritual signs that you are on the right path are not glamorous. They are sometimes uncomfortable, humbling, and often invisible to others.

They reveal themselves not in flashy miracles but in the way you face yourself, the way you stop abandoning your truth, and the way you love fiercely without collapsing into illusion.

If you are seeking signs, stop looking outside and begin noticing within. If you are more honest than before, if you are more compassionate toward yourself, if you can sit in paradox without collapsing, if you can feel gratitude without reason – you are already walking the path.

The spiritual journey is not about being validated by the Universe. It is about dissolving the illusions that demanded validation in the first place.

The right path is the one that burns away what is false until only the Self remains. That is the only sign you will ever truly need.

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

The Skyscraper of Healing: 108 Floors Of Healing From Trauma, Spiritual Awakening and Reclaiming Your Sovereignty

Illustration of healing journey from trauma to spiritual sovereignty using skyscraper metaphor

Illustration of healing journey from trauma to spiritual sovereignty using skyscraper metaphor

There is a sacred architecture inside you. A vertical landscape of memory, survival, energy, emotion, and soul. It’s not imagined. It’s not metaphor alone. It’s structure – and it’s real.

I call it the Skyscraper of Healing

Not because healing is linear. Not because we must climb upward in effort. But because when we choose to truly awaken – not as a trend, but as a soul directive – we begin a journey that rises through inner chambers of density, pain, clarity, and sovereignty.

This skyscraper has 108 floors. Not as an arbitrary number, but as a sacred one – the number of completion in many ancient traditions. Each floor represents a level of trauma transmutation, emotional evolution, and the capacity to live as your radiant, embodied self.

If you are awakening – if you’ve been through therapy, plant medicine, inner work, or if you’ve screamed into your pillow night after night just trying to survive – this is for you.

This map will help you see where you are – and what’s ahead. It’s not a rigid sequence. It’s not dogma. It’s a soul tool – to clarify, orient, and empower your next step.

The Skyscraper at a Glance

Floors 1 to 40 – Survival
This is the trauma zone. Intense emotional flooding, nervous system collapse, panic, shutdown, and pure survival. You’re not building yet – you’re simply trying to not fall apart. If you’ve moved beyond daily overwhelm, this level is cleared.

Floors 41 to 70 – Tools and Pattern Recognition
You begin to use protocols, notice symptoms, and understand your emotional and physical patterns. Pressure becomes trackable. You’re less reactive, more conscious. You’re learning to manage the terrain, not just be dominated by it. If you’re working with tools and mostly stable, you’re 90 to 95 percent clear here.

Floors 71 to 90 – Sovereignty
You now experience echoes, not flares. Dreams, ancestral energy, emotional patterns from family and identity begin to appear – not to trap you, but to be released. You don’t react anymore – you respond, clear, and move forward. This is where you begin to live as your sovereign self. You’re actively clearing this level if pressure is minimal, fleeting, and your nervous system is trustworthy.

Floors 91 to 108 – Radiance
You’re no longer healing – you’re expressing. You’re building legacy, creating, leading, and embodying truth without collapse. Emotions move through you, not over you. You’re no longer ruled by your past – you become the transmission. This level is not far away. It comes once sovereignty becomes the ground beneath your feet, not just a vision in the sky.

Floors 1 to 40 – Survival and the Nervous System Abyss.  Understanding Trauma Survival and Nervous System Dysregulation.

This is the basement. The flooded levels. The place where most of us start, even if we pretend otherwise. This phase often involves severe nervous system dysregulation, where the body’s stress response is heightened due to unresolved trauma.

On these floors, your system doesn’t care about joy. It doesn’t care about boundaries or goals or relationships or soul purpose. It cares about staying alive.

    • Daily crying
    • Trauma re-enactment
    • Nervous system collapse
    • Chronic illness and inflammation
    • Emotional flashbacks
    • Migraines and full-body shutdown
    • Panic and dissociation
    • Hypervigilance masked as productivity or spirituality

This is the realm of childhood survival wounds, often activated by emotional neglect, sexual abuse, abandonment, enmeshment, or living under narcissistic or mentally unstable parents.

You may not even know how to name what’s happening.
You just know something is wrong – and you keep trying to “fix” it with willpower or positive thinking, but nothing changes.

Because this isn’t a surface-level problem. This is biological imprisonment inside a trauma loop.

Here, the only job is to survive. To crawl, bleed, and pray your way to the 41st floor – where something begins to shift.

Status: Fully cleared if you’re conscious, resourced, and no longer drowning. Otherwise, this is where most people live without realizing it. You can’t skip these floors. But you can heal them.

Floors 41 to 70 – Pattern Recognition and Emotional Mastery – Embracing Emotional Regulation and Somatic Healing 

This is the territory of tools, language, and reclamation.

You’re no longer barely surviving. Now you’re noticing patterns. Seeing symptoms as messengers. You might be working with:

    • Supplements and protocols
    • Emotional regulation and inner child work
    • Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) or functional medicine
    • Breathwork and somatic practices
    • Tracking triggers and pressure points
    • Mapping your dreams, energy waves, and nervous system spikes

You’re beginning to understand your system. You don’t just cry – you track why. You don’t just collapse – you pause and make space.

The pressure still comes, yes.
But now you have timing, language, support, and awareness.

This is the beginning of personal sovereignty – but it’s still cautious. You’re learning how not to be a patient. How not to be defined by your trauma. How not to be afraid of your own power. 

Status: 95 percent cleared if you are using your tools and no longer overwhelmed by symptoms. Practices like breathwork and somatic healing techniques aid in emotional regulation, helping you process and release stored trauma. This stage prepares you for something deeper – not just healing, but liberation.

Floors 71 to 90 – Reclaiming Personal Sovereignty and Energetic Integrity

Woman standing with arms open representing personal sovereignty and energetic boundaries

 

This is where you are no longer clearing trauma for survival.
You are now clearing residual patterning, and reclaiming parts of yourself you were never allowed to fully inhabit.

This is the realm of:

    • Sexual integration without shame
    • Emotional truth without collapse
    • Boundary without guilt
    • Anger without fragmentation
    • Presence without absorption
    • Joy without dissociation

This is when the pressure still happens – but it’s different now.
It whispers. It flickers. It teaches.

You might feel light tension, a dream echo, or a brief eye pulse behind the left eye – and instead of panic, you simply say: “Ah. A shadow just walked through. Time to sweep the floor.”

This is also when the ancestral layers surface – the ghosts of family trauma, identity, judgment, and enmeshment.

These aren’t your emotions. They’re what you inherited, what you absorbed, what you unconsciously agreed to carry. And this is where you drop them.

This level signals the beginning stages of your profound spiritual awakening, leading to personal sovereignty and self-empowerment.

Status: Actively clearing. This is where mastery becomes quiet, embodied, and sovereign. You are no longer reactive. You are now calmly strategic. You don’t wait for symptoms to dominate – you meet them in the hallway with a smile and send them on their way.

Floors 91 to 108 – Embodied Radiance and Legacy Building In Post-Traumatic Growth

These floors are sacred. Not because they’re exclusive. But because they are earned.

This is where you are no longer healing – you are living.

    • Your nervous system is no longer afraid of expansion
    • Your creativity returns without needing validation
    • You speak truth without bleeding for it
    • You write, build, teach, and love without collapsing into fatigue or hypervigilance
    • You lead without absorbing the pain of others
    • You let your field change rooms – not because you try, but because you are radiant by nature

This is the realm of creation from center.

Status: Not yet arrived – but approaching. These floors are your reward for walking the first 90 with clarity, courage, and consistency. You won’t need a protocol here. You’ll carry a few trusted tools, and mostly… you’ll just breathe. You’ll do less – but what you do will ripple for decades.

This final phase embodies post-traumatic growth, where you can start living in embodied radiance leading to building your own legacy.

This is SOUL LEGACY! This is the seat at your own table – that you built from within – THIS is where you belong.

 

Where You Are Now In Your Own Trauma Healing Journey And Spiritual Awakening Process

If you’re reading this and feel seen – you’ve already begun climbing.

You might still be in the basement, crawling with broken knees. Or you might be halfway up, surrounded by charts, herbs, and supplements, eyes full of lightning.

Or you may be just like me – walking the floors of sovereignty, noticing the ghosts, watching them whisper – and no longer answering the door.

Wherever you are, the point is this:

You are not broken.
You are not behind.
You are in motion.
And the tower belongs to you.

Let’s keep walking.

There’s light at the top. And it’s not because you escaped the darkness – It’s because you learned to carry it as wisdom.

Welcome to the Skyscraper. You belong here. Rise up and OWN IT!

See the questionnaire for self-assessment below – to help you know where you are – and where you might be headed. Mastering each floor means another opening to expansion.

Meanwhile, keep in mind….

The Skyscraper of Healing is a practical and visionary map for those navigating the stages of trauma recovery, emotional integration, and spiritual embodiment. 

Whether you’re working through complex PTSD, seeking nervous system regulation, exploring shadow work, or simply wondering where you stand on your spiritual awakening journey, this guide helps you locate yourself with clarity and compassion. 

From somatic tools to energetic boundaries, from ancestral trauma to soul-level sovereignty, each floor of this metaphorical skyscraper offers insight into healing not just for survival, but for creative, radiant living. If you’re ready to move from inner chaos to embodied truth – this is your next step. 

Join me in a session to help you find your way through it all. Click HERE to schedule a healing intuitive reading. 

 

The 108-Floor Sovereignty Self-Assessment

Each section includes 3 powerful questions. A “Yes” to all = you’ve cleared that floor group. A “Maybe” or “No” = you’re still integrating or actively working it.


How to Use This Tool

    • Read one section at a time – no rushing.
    • Sit with each question. The body always answers first.
    • If it’s a Yes, celebrate and claim it.
    • If it’s a Maybe or No, don’t judge – just recognize your location on the map.
    • Revisit this every few weeks or after major events, dreams, or breakthroughs.

This isn’t a personality quiz. It’s a spiritual cartography tool – helping you remember that you are already climbing. You don’t need a map to escape. You need a map to remember you’re arriving.

Floors 1–40: Trauma Survival & Nervous System Dysregulation Healing

Theme: Surviving pain, holding ancestral chaos, learning to stay in the body.

    1. Do I often feel emotionally or physically overwhelmed without understanding why?
    2. Do I collapse into sadness, fear, or over-responsibility when others are in pain?
    3. Do I feel like I’m still surviving something no one sees?

Floors 41–70: Emotional Pattern Recognition & Mastery For Trauma Recovery

Theme: Seeing patterns, tracking triggers, understanding the map of your pain.

  1. Can I name where my emotional/physical symptoms are coming from most of the time?
  2. Do I have tools or rituals that truly help me return to center?

3. Do I know when a feeling is mine – and when I’ve absorbed it from someone else?

Floors 71–74: Healing Through Boundaries and Emotional Detachment In Energetic Relationships

Theme: Honoring self without guilt, ending emotional codependency.

    1. Can I feel compassion without absorbing someone else’s suffering?
    2. Do I say “no” without over-explaining or fearing judgment?
    3.  Can I hold space for discomfort – mine or others – without trying to fix it?

Floors 75–77: Publicly Speaking Your Truth WIth Confidence and Authentic Self-Expression

Theme: Speaking clearly, loving fiercely, holding your voice without collapse.

    1. Do I share my truth without worrying about being too much?
    2. Can I be both direct and loving – even when it’s uncomfortable?
    3. Do I feel peace after speaking my truth, regardless of how it lands?

Floors 78–81: Sacred Masculine Energy Healing and Creative Expression Without Shame

Theme: Reclaiming pleasure, power, and divine indifference to reaction.

    1. Have I released shame or performance energy from my sexuality and creativity?
    2. Do I rest when I need to, without guilt or explanation?
    3. Do I create, teach, or express from flow – not pressure or “shoulds”?

Floors 82–85: Letting Go of the Final Ghosts AKA Releasing Ancestral Trauma and Ending Generational Healing Cycles

Theme: Ending lineage contracts, releasing the role of “the one who heals.”

    1. Do I feel complete without needing my family to understand or validate me?
    2. Can I walk away from unworthy energy without emotional residue?
    3. Have I let go of “healing” as an identity and claimed sovereignty as my baseline?

Floors 86–90: Silent Power and Practicing Energetic Alignment For Nervous System Peace

Theme: Being the lighthouse, not the rescuer. Leading with presence, not noise.

    1. Can I go days without performance, expression, or output and still feel full?
    2. Does my presence shift others without effort or emotional cost?
    3. Is my sovereignty now quiet, unshakeable, and relaxed – even in the storm?

Floors 91–108: Living In Radiant Self-Expression

Theme: Expressing without resistance, loving without leaking, creating from stillness.

    1. Do I create from inner guidance, not from response, demand, or strategy?
    2. Is my pleasure sacred and sovereign – not sourced from attention or need
    3. Do I now trust the divine arc of my life, without having to track it, fix it, or protect it?

 

Book A Healing Intuitive Session With Me 

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

How to Set Intentions & Raise Your Vibration to Transform Your Life

Image of family looking up at orb - Paul Wagner

Image of family looking at Universe to convey how to set intentions - Paul Wagner

When a loved one is hurting or in need, many of us will send a message saying something like, ‘I am praying for you,’ or ‘Sending good vibes your way,’ or ‘Thoughts And Prayers!’ Earnestly and lovingly, we recognize that on some level, thinking good thoughts for a person improves their lives. Little did we know we were operating on a level of intentions and vibrations! But do you know how to set intentions?

THIS IS TRUE! THINK GOOD THOUGHTS & THEY TRAVEL, IMBUING LIGHT & BLISS INTO EVERY FACTION THEY TOUCH!

Did you know that setting positive intentions for yourself and others can change your world for the better—and improve the vibrations and lives found throughout the Universe? This is also true.

Knowing how to set intentions can help you increase the positive energy around you and make your world a better, happier place to be.

Read on to learn more about intentions and vibrational energy and how they impact not only your life today and your life in the future but also the lives of everyone around you for all time.

Goals vs. Intentions

Before we dive into how vibrational energy and intentions can change your life, let’s talk some about goals vs. intentions. Many people think of intentions as something similar to daily goals—today I’ll eat healthier or today I’ll make better financial decisions. But goals vs. intentions are quite different.

Goals tend to focus on what we don’t have and need to get, and oftentimes, goal-setting can lead to a sense of failure if we don’t meet those goals. Goals can be helpful or can be based on contrived ideas and desires that are not so helpful and disappoint us.

Intentions are built upon feelings, hope, and faith. Intentions don’t have a fail-safe; there’s no way to fail to meet an intention. It lives within the fabrics of our Beings.

Intentions are soul-prayers pointing to  how we are approaching the world and our life at any given moment.

How Vibrations Interact with Intentions

If intentions can change your life, why are we talking about the energy of vibrations? Because science tells us that everything around us is moving, humming with vibrational energy.

The Entire Universe Is Made Of Light & Sound!

Electrons zing around in their orbits, protons and neutrons jumble together in our cell nuclei, and the water in our bodies hums with the power of the Universe around us.

OMMMMMM is the sound of the Earth giving birth to itself.

AUM, AUM, AUM: The mantra of Yogis for eons.

Scientific experiments have shown that our thoughts can have a physical influence on the world around us. The observed will change when other forces are witnessing them.

being walking on beach as water parts with universe dancing around them - Paul Wagner

As we set positive intentions for ourselves, we not only awaken and improve the vibrations in our own lives and bodies but also in the world around us.

In simplest terms, our intentions can create good vibrations that make our world better.

This is why Sanskrit mantras are so powerful—they are born from the purest intentions. Chanting in Sanskrit can vibrate our souls into healing and great transformations.

Intentions Center & Focus Your Power

One of the best things about setting intentions each day is that it helps to center and focus our power.

Oftentimes, we may say “I wish” about various things in our lives. The problem with this terminology is that it places the power with something outside of us; we have to wait for God or the Universe or people around us to grant that wish.

When you set an intention, you use the language “I will.”

“I WILL!” – This simple phrase returns your power to where it belongs—within your control. You can come to believe and understand that you have the power to change your life and that your daily intentions can be powerful tools for doing so.

Improve Your Outlook & Attitude

For many of us, if we take the time to listen to what we say each day, we’d find that it’s often overwhelmingly negative. We complain about our jobs, our kids, our looks, our challenges, and our bills.

All of this leads us to view our lives, at least in the moment, as being full of hardship, strife, and injustice.

While life can be challenging, setting intentions for your day can help you to improve your outlook and attitudes on the world around you.

You may start to notice those intentions manifesting in your life, which, over time, can raise your positive energy and overall magnetic vibration. With the best and most uplifting intentions, you’ll begin to see all the beautiful things around you. You’ll focus on your positive hopes and faith, rather than the negative and unseen space surrounding unmet goals.

Overcome Limitations with Intentions

You may have heard before that the biggest thing holding you back from the life you want is YOU! In many ways, that may be true. Oftentimes, we’re told that we’re not good enough, that we can’t achieve our dreams, or that we’re not worthy of love. Over time, we come to believe this, and we act more timidly, afraid of what might happen if we dare to live boldly.

We project our fears and early childhood experiences onto our daily realities, forgetting that we can change everything with one intention and one small shift in attitude.

As Abraham says, the law of attraction is what drives the Universe and all Creation. Embody and speak that which is an embodiment of your highest vibration and you will naturally see your world improve.

Setting positive intentions and harnessing the positive energy from divinely inspired vibrations can empower us to live a life free of limitations.

With a little effort, we can begin to see how our thoughts can shape the world. Truly, we are built to believe we can do amazing things.

Throw off the false barriers that have been placed upon you and become free!

Live your life as a full, loving, powerful, and radiant BEING!

Selflessly Serve Others

Although intentions can have a powerful impact on our lives, the benefits don’t stop there. Raising your positive energy can improve the lives of everyone around you—even of the whole world.

Vibrational experts understand that the Universe, heck, the entire eternal, ever-expanding Cosmos, is connected by these vibrations. By improving your inner world, your outer world will improve and expand.

Within your immediate circles, your positive intentions and the benefits they have for you will improve the lives of your partner, your children, and your friends. This can create a ripple effect, raising the positive energy of your community as your circle moves out into the world, happier and more empowered.

Your intentions help to improve the vibrations of one small area of the Universe, and that improvement shifts the balance to the good.

From an energetic standpoint, your vibrational energy permeates all realities. So be careful what you project!

group singing and dancing - positive vibes - Paul Wagner

How to Set Intentions

So do you want to know how to set intentions and reap all these positive rewards? It’s best to begin your intention-setting practice with meditation.

Meditating helps to center us, removing all of the extraneous distractions and expectations of the world around us. With meditation and a focus on our inner silence and Being, we allow our nature to expand—and we find peace.

After meditation, take some time to focus your thoughts toward what you want and need in your life and from the world around you.

Allow these desires to condense into one specific phrase that begins with an “I Will”—an” action statement about how you’ll make this request a reality in your world.

An example:

I WILL EMBODY PEACE AND LOVE AND ATTRACT GOODNESS TO MY LIFE AND TO THOSE I LOVE.

Repeat your phrase a few times, allowing the weight of your focus to settle on it, before you set it down and move on into your day. 

You might also pray for others. When we pray for others, the Universe prays for us. 

The intentions we set each day can have a huge impact both on us and on the world around us. You can learn how to set intentions by creating these positive thoughts. We can change the energy of vibrations around us and put more positive energy into the world. You can reclaim your amazing inner power, overcome your limitations, and improve the world around you just with your thoughts.

Your mind is nothing but a tool that can help you live in a physical reality, like here on Earth! Your mind is also something that sustains itself. We never have to be in our minds. Even if we extinguish our connection to our minds, we’ll still know how to drive and cook. These things are instinctual.

Releasing our minds and egos, we become free.

I am here to help you awaken and bravely create an inspired life. Learn more about my loving services today and start changing your life in the most positive way.

REMEMBER!

You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire. 

Pray for others and the Universe prays for us.

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

What Exactly Is The Soul – A Definitive Answer

The Soul’s Journey: Understanding Memory, Liberation, and Enlightenment

 

The soul’s journey toward enlightenment is a profound exploration that transcends conventional understanding, inviting us into a deeper communion with the essence of our being. This path is intricately woven with the fabric of memory—emotional, intuitive, cultural, archetypal, and beyond—each playing a pivotal role in our spiritual evolution and quest for liberation.

Emotional Memory: The Celestial Tapestry of the Heart

Emotional memory is the celestial tapestry woven from the fibers of our most profound joys, sorrows, loves, and fears, each thread a cosmic vibration echoing across the vastness of our soul’s journey through the aeons. These vibrant hues of experience color the universe within us, influencing the trajectory of our spiritual voyage across lifetimes. Through the sacred alchemy of empathy and self-awareness, we transmute these heavy chains of past emotional imprints into luminous wings, elevating our essence into the higher dimensions of unconditional love and boundless compassion. This transformation is a rebirth, a shedding of old skins, where we emerge radiant, ready to embrace the cosmic dance of existence with open hearts.

Intuitive Memory: Navigating the Soul’s Cosmic Compass

Intuitive memory is the soul’s cosmic compass, an ethereal guide that whispers secrets of ancient wisdom, leading us beyond the tangible to the realms of the unseen and unknown. It is a divine echo resonating from the depths of our past lives and the collective unconscious, a beacon of light illuminating the path to our true spiritual destiny. Cultivating this profound inner knowing requires a pilgrimage into the silence of our being, where we can hear the subtle murmurs of the universe guiding us towards enlightenment. As we align with this cosmic guidance, our journey unfolds with a sense of divine synchronicity, each step a harmonious chord in the symphony of our existence.

Cultural Memory: Weaving the Cosmic Fabric of Belonging

Cultural memory is the rich soil from which the roots of our identity and worldview grow, nourished by the traditions, stories, and wisdom of our ancestors. It is a cosmic tapestry that connects us to the collective soul of humanity, offering a sense of belonging within the vast expanse of the universe. Yet, to ascend toward higher realms of consciousness, we must transcend the limitations of these earthly ties, freeing our spirits to explore the boundless possibilities of existence. This transcendence is not a rejection but an expansion, an opening of the heart and mind to the infinite expressions of life, inviting us into a more profound and inclusive communion with the cosmos.

Archetypal Memory: Dancing with the Cosmic Archetypes

Archetypal memory is the stage upon which the universal symbols and figures of the collective unconscious perform their eternal dance. These archetypes are the essence of our shared human saga, transcending time, culture, and personal identity to touch upon the universal truths of our existence. By recognizing and integrating these cosmic actors—The Hero, The Sage, The Mother, The Trickster—we embrace the multitude of roles we play in the grand drama of life. This integration allows our identities to become fluid, ever-changing costumes worn by the soul as it explores the boundless realms of creation, each archetype a key unlocking deeper dimensions of self and the universe.

Environmental Memory: Harmonizing with the Symphony of Nature

Our connection to the natural world is inscribed in the environmental memory, a sacred pact written in the language of the earth, water, air, and fire. This bond influences our behavior and spiritual outlook, embedding the rhythms of the natural world into the fabric of our being. Rekindling this connection heals us, realigning our frequencies with the symphony of the planet and reminding us of our integral place within the web of life. As we attune to the Earth’s wisdom, we rediscover our harmony with all existence, each breath a note in the cosmic melody that sustains the universe.

Ancestral Memory: The Soul’s Lineage of Light

Ancestral memory is the luminous lineage of our soul, a celestial inheritance woven from the dreams, struggles, and triumphs of those who came before us. It transcends mere genetics, encapsulating the spiritual legacies and karmic imprints etched into our essence. Engaging with this ancestral tapestry is a sacred journey of healing and honoring, a rite of passage that reconnects us with our roots while empowering us to weave new narratives of wisdom for the generations to come. In this profound reconnection, we embrace the legacy of light passed down through the ages, forging a bridge between the past and the future, grounded in the eternal now.

Spiritual Memory: Illuminations of the Divine Within

Spiritual memory is the radiant archive of the soul’s encounters with the divine, each experience a starlight illuminating the depths of our eternal nature. It is here, in the sacred moments of awakening and union with the infinite, that we glimpse the boundless expanse of our true self, one with the cosmos and all its creations. Engaging with this divine essence through meditation, sacred rituals, and the pursuit of cosmic consciousness awakens a profound understanding of our oneness with the universe, guiding us towards the ultimate liberation.

Energetic and Karmic Memory: The Cosmic Dance of Actions and Intentions

Energetic and karmic memory captures the intricate dance of every thought, word, and deed across the tapestry of existence, each movement a vibration rippling through the cosmic sea. Cleansing these imprints through practices aligned with the universal energies—breath work, chakra balancing, and the wisdom of ancient traditions—transmutes our karmic debts into blessings, steering us toward spiritual sovereignty. This purification is a journey back to the heart of who we are, free from the shadows of past actions, radiant in the light of conscious creation.

Genetic and Evolutionary Memory: Awakening the Ancient Codes of Being

Genetic and evolutionary memory is the sacred codex of our biological heritage, encrypted with the wisdom of our species’ journey through time. It is a primordial echo of survival, adaptation, and the innate urge towards expansion and growth. Transcending these ancient codes through self-discovery and spiritual awakening activates latent potentials within our DNA, catalyzing a leap in consciousness that propels humanity towards its next evolutionary horizon. This awakening redefines our understanding of life, inviting us into a deeper communion with the cosmic intelligence that orchestrates the dance of existence.

Conscious and Subconscious Memory: Exploring the Inner Cosmos

The labyrinth of conscious and subconscious memory is the inner cosmos, a universe teeming with the nebulae of experiences, desires, and hidden truths. Navigating this vast inner space through introspection, dreamwork, and the transformative power of psycho-spiritual practices reveals the mysteries of our being, leading to a rebirth of consciousness. This exploration is a journey of alchemy, transmuting the base metals of our fears and limitations into the gold of wisdom and liberation, opening the portals to infinite realms of possibility.

Cosmic and Collective Unconscious Memory: Merging with the Universal Mind

Merging with the cosmic and collective unconscious memory, we dissolve into the universal mind, where individual consciousness flows into the boundless ocean of collective wisdom. This sacred union reveals the interstellar web of life, illuminating the truth of our interconnectedness with all beings and the cosmos itself. Awakening to this cosmic consciousness births a profound sense of unity and compassion, guiding us towards a harmonious existence that honors the sanctity of all creation. In this awakened state, we become co-creators in the divine symphony of the universe, our lives a testament to the eternal dance of light and love.

As we approach the transition of death, the teachings of Advaita Vedanta and Buddhism offer a serene acceptance and understanding of our true nature as the eternal Atman, beyond the ephemeral. This realization invites us to release attachments and memories that bind us, preparing us for liberation. Through practices of meditation, self-inquiry, and cultivating virtues of compassion and equanimity, we embrace a life of spiritual truth, transcending the illusion of separateness and embracing the joy of oneness with all that is.

This journey is not just a path to enlightenment but a call to awaken to the luminous truth of our eternal nature, contributing to the collective awakening of humanity. As we navigate this journey, inspired by the pure teachings of ancient wisdom, we forge a life of deep meaning, illuminated by the light of our true self.

Oh my, and you will LOVE The Shankara Oracle, drenched in the Advaita Vedanta, all pointing to your liberation.

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Grande Apology From The New Age

Grande Apology From The New Age

 

Dear Seekers of New Age Spirituality,

I stand before you, nearly a global religion, with a heart full of humility, a desire for healing, and a wish for your forgiveness. It is time for me to acknowledge the ways in which I have fallen short and forgotten my divine nature, and for that, I offer you a sincere apology.

How delusional I became is a testament to how ego-worship and Self-aggrandizement can easily disintegrate virtue. 

How truly sorry I am.

New Age Spirituality began as pure cosmic energy forming and emanating truly divine teachings, pointing to healing, inner transformation, expansion, even enlightenment. 

Many embraced these ideas with open arms, seeking solace, understanding, and a deeper connection to The Universe. Instead of protecting these originally pure teachings, I betrayed them, selling out in exchange for global popularity.

I apologize for fostering the idea that spirituality is a means to inflate the ego rather than transcend it. The New Age was never supposed to be about spiritual masturbation, it was born to help make you stronger, more resilient, more forgiving, and more accepting of EVERYTHING.

I feel badly that I led you to embrace toxic conspiracies, cancel-culture, warped feminism and dysmorphic new-age hype rather than helping you dig more deeply into your Being. While my original goal was to help you embody your core nature, deep forgiveness and allowing, and the most profound awareness imaginable, I gave you egoistic distractions, beer yoga, and expensive leotards. 

In my confusion and Self-obsession, I encouraged you to be WOKE, judgmental, conspiratorial, non-conversant, inauthentic, even delusional.

I may have even encouraged you to be a mermaid. 

Ugh. I’m disgusting. 

At times, I have encouraged the pursuit of personal gain, material wealth, spiritual materialism, getting rather than receiving, and superficial Self-improvement in the name of fake, contrived enlightenment. 

I am sorry for any confusion this may have caused and for inadvertently feeding the very ego we sought to transcend. I am also deeply sorry for how I encouraged you to embrace ideological viruses that caused you to forsake your real and beautiful Self in exchange for the messages thoughtlessly shared by narcissistic influencers. 

I also apologize for neglecting the importance of encouraging you to address any deep-seated triggers and traumas – especially in how I pushed you to ignore your ugliness and shadows in favor of shallow affirmations and diseased candy. 

Somehow, I became as dark, twisted, short-sighted, and judgmental as today’s right-wing Christianity, another blemish-factory in the global spiritual community.

Healing and growth cannot occur by simply ignoring or bypassing our wounds and disenfranchised emotions. Even though I tried, it’s not possible to affirmation-away the darkness or manipulate others into feeling temporarily “awesome” with the hope it lands us or others somewhere beautiful.

Admittedly, I love the sound of us all being Starseeds or star people from distant lands with a purpose of transforming the planet by making love with Grays and remembering our Atlantis past lives, but this is mostly delusion. As much as it’s a lovely distraction to contrive a story around being from Pleiades, you’re probably just a normal human, weary from lifeless marriage and listless from credit card debt.

I acknowledge that, in some cases, I have steered you away from confronting your pain and encouraged a superficial focus on positive thinking and a false sense of belonging to a walled garden and fake-happy tribe. This was a disservice to your soul’s healing process and expansion. 

Clearly, and for too long, I was focused on your joyful response to my contrivances than I was to your growth.

Furthermore, I apologize for not emphasizing the significance of forgiveness in its truest form. Real forgiveness is not about condoning transgressions or rejecting every faction of society, but about freeing yourself from the weight of anger, resentment, projection, and hurt. I regret any instances where I may have oversimplified this profound concept with the hope of gaining more followers and acceptance. 

I am sorry for encouraging corporate and celebrity non-allyship, where you may have canceled a person or brand specifically because they do not align with your temporary angst, sensibilities and required timing for their evolution. In supporting these ideas, I encouraged you to build walls rather than dissolve them. 

My way was the wrong way. I guess purple and pink bubbles of light can only go so far. 

It is my hope that we can embark on a journey of rediscovery and transformation together – where we embrace authenticity, even idiocy, without victimizing ourselves or excommunicating or disenfranchising others. Truly, we can love and forgive from a distance, even those who continue to blunder and fall short.

Let us reevaluate our beliefs, revitalize our practices, dive deeper into the essence of spirituality, and prioritize authenticity and transparency. 

While we must distance ourselves from the people who are dishonest, anti-science, or clearly hurtful to our society, we need not hate them. We can forgive them, ignore their rants, and focus on healing ourselves. 

May we encourage each other to embrace our shadows, heal our wounds, and cultivate genuine compassion for ourselves and others. And let’s leave the fantasies to Spielberg.

In the spirit of growth and evolution, I humbly invite you to join me in redefining the path of New Age Spirituality. Together, we can create a more authentic and holistic approach that honors the complexities of human existence, seeks true healing, and helps us transcend our egoic tendencies.

Truly, we can dive deeper and expand ourselves before we reject or pummel another person or entity in pursuit of our exclusive comfort and ego gratification.

Thank you for your understanding, patience, and willingness to embark on this journey of redefinition and rediscovery. 

May we move forward with open hearts, a commitment to the purest truths, and a genuine desire to support one another in our quest for inner peace and enlightenment.

With love and humility,

New Age Spirituality

  1. Please buy The Shankara Oracle, as it will help you understand your Self and reality far better than I ever could.

 

About The Author:

image

Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Bodhi Day: The Awakening Of Siddhartha Into The Buddha

Bodhi Day: The Awakening Of Siddhartha Into The Buddha

Bodhi Day, commemorating the enlightenment of Siddhartha Gautama, the historical Buddha, is observed on different dates across various Buddhist traditions around the world. Here’s a summary based on the traditions mentioned:

Japan: Celebrates Bodhi Day on December 8th, following the Gregorian (Western) calendar. This is a fixed date every year.

East Asia (excluding Japan): The observation varies, typically falling between the winter solstice and the lunar new year. This period can vary each year depending on the lunar calendar, which means the exact date shifts annually. The winter solstice occurs around December 21st or 22nd in the Gregorian calendar, and the Lunar New Year usually falls between January 21st and February 20th. Therefore, Bodhi Day in these regions could be observed anytime within this range, depending on specific local traditions and lunar calculations for the year.

Southeast Asia: Buddhists in Southeast Asia celebrate the Buddha’s enlightenment in May. This often coincides with Vesak (also spelled Vesākha or Wesak), a major Buddhist festival that celebrates the birth, enlightenment (Bodhi), and death (Parinirvāna) of the Buddha. Vesak itself is observed on the full moon of the 4th month in the Chinese lunar calendar, which typically falls in May in the Gregorian calendar.

Tibetan Buddhists: They observe the occasion in June. The specific celebration dedicated to the Buddha’s enlightenment within Tibetan Buddhism is known as Saga Dawa Düchen. It is observed on the full moon day of the fourth lunar month in the Tibetan calendar, which usually corresponds to a day in June in the Gregorian calendar.

These variations highlight the diversity within Buddhist traditions and the different calendars and cultural considerations that influence the observance of Bodhi Day.

What Happened on This Day?

Siddhartha Gautama, who later became known as Gautama Buddha, is traditionally believed to have attained enlightenment and become the Buddha at the age of 35. According to Buddhist tradition, Siddhartha was born in Lumbini, Nepal, and he spent several years as a prince in the royal palace before renouncing his princely life in search of spiritual truth. On the fateful night of departure from the royal kingdom, Siddhartha left behind his wife, newborn child, whom he did not meet before leaving, and his large, extended family.

After leaving the palace, Siddhartha engaged in six years of ascetic practices and meditation before finally achieving enlightenment under the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya, India. It was during this period of meditation that he gained profound insights into the nature of suffering and the path to liberation.

His enlightenment marked the beginning of his role as the Buddha, the “Awakened One,” and he spent the rest of his life teaching his insights and wisdom to others. The age of 35 is a significant milestone in the life of Siddhartha Gautama, as it represents the moment of his spiritual awakening and the start of his mission to share his teachings with the world.

More on Buddha’s family later in this article.

Bodhi Day

This auspicious day usually falls on the full moon day in April or May, depending on the lunar calendar, and it is celebrated with great devotion and reverence by Buddhists around the world. On this day, Siddhartha completed his journey to release all attachments and desires to merge with The Divine and embody pure consciousness in human form. 

Siddharth Gautama had been sitting under the Bhodi Tree for several months, species Ficus religiosa, when he saw beyond all form, released his temporary Self-identities, and become enlightened. More on the sacred tree later in this article.

According to traditional Buddhist accounts, Siddhartha Gautama, who would later become Gautama Buddha, sat under the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya, India, for a period of approximately seven weeks before attaining enlightenment. The specific time frame is often described as 49 days and nights of continuous meditation.

During this period, Siddhartha engaged in deep meditation, contemplation, and spiritual practices. He faced various challenges and temptations, but his determination and unwavering commitment to seeking the truth ultimately led to his enlightenment.

It’s important to note that these details are based on traditional Buddhist narratives and may vary slightly in different Buddhist texts and traditions. The key point is that it was through intense meditation and spiritual effort under the Bodhi tree that Siddhartha Gautama achieved the supreme enlightenment and became the Buddha.

Bodhi Day, known as such in China, and known as Rohatsu in Japan, is indeed celebrated on December 8th in the Gregorian (Lunar), or January 18 in the solar calendar, by some Buddhist traditions. This day is associated with the commemoration of the Buddha’s enlightenment under the Bodhi tree.

However, it’s important to note that the specific date of Bodhi Day can vary based on different Buddhist calendars and traditions. The December 8th lunar calendar date corresponds to the Gregorian calendar and is commonly observed in Chinese and Japanese Zen Buddhism.

In the Theravada tradition and some Mahayana traditions, the celebration of Buddha’s enlightenment typically falls on the full moon day in April or May according to the lunar calendar, which is known as Vesak or Buddha Purnima.

So, while December 8th is indeed recognized as Bodhi Day in some Buddhist traditions, it may not be the date observed by all Buddhists, as the timing can vary depending on regional and sectarian practices within Buddhism.

It’s important to note that Buddhism has various branches and traditions, and there can be differences in the way different Buddhist communities observe and celebrate significant events in the life of Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha). The more commonly recognized date for Buddha’s Enlightenment Day remains tied to the lunar calendar, typically falling in April or May.

While Buddha Sat Under The Sacred Tree

As Siddhartha Gautama sat and meditated under the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya, India, during his quest for enlightenment, several significant events and experiences are traditionally associated with his time of meditation. These events are often described in Buddhist texts and are considered important aspects of the Buddha’s journey to enlightenment. Here are some of the key events and experiences said to have occurred:

Mara’s Temptations: According to Buddhist tradition, Mara, the personification of desire, delusion, and the hindrances to enlightenment, attempted to distract Siddhartha from his meditation. Mara sent various forms of temptations and distractions, including sensual pleasures, fear, doubt, and desire for power, in an effort to prevent Siddhartha from attaining enlightenment. However, Siddhartha remained steadfast and resolute.

The Great Enlightenment: After facing and overcoming Mara’s challenges, Siddhartha experienced a profound and deep realization of the nature of reality. He achieved supreme enlightenment, which included insights into the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. This marked the moment when Siddhartha became the Buddha, the “Awakened One.”

The Morning Star: It is said that upon attaining enlightenment, Siddhartha gazed at the morning star (Venus) in the eastern sky, and at that moment, he exclaimed, “I see the morning star! All sentient beings possess the wisdom and virtue of the Tathagata [Buddha]!” This is seen as a significant moment of realization.

The Earth Witness Mudra: During his meditation, Siddhartha is believed to have called upon the Earth to bear witness to his attainment of enlightenment. In response, the Earth is said to have shaken, confirming his enlightenment.

The Offering of Milk Rice: After Siddhartha became the Buddha, a village woman named Sujata offered him a bowl of milk rice (kheer) as a symbol of gratitude and respect. This offering is often depicted in Buddhist art and is considered a symbol of generosity and kindness.

Teaching the Dharma: Following his enlightenment, the Buddha spent several weeks in the vicinity of the Bodhi tree, contemplating the profundity of his realizations. He then made the decision to share his insights with others. His first teachings, known as the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (Setting the Wheel of Dhamma in Motion), were delivered to a group of five ascetics in the Deer Park at Sarnath, near Varanasi.

These events are central to the traditional narrative of the Buddha’s path to enlightenment and the beginning of his teaching mission. They emphasize the Buddha’s unwavering determination, his triumph over obstacles, and his deep insights into the nature of suffering and the path to liberation.

Buddha’s Reunion With His Birth Family

According to Buddhist tradition, after Siddhartha Gautama (the future Buddha) attained enlightenment and became the Buddha, he eventually reunited with his birth family, including his wife, Yasodhara, and his son, Rahula.

Here’s a brief overview of what happened with his birth family:

Wife Yasodhara: After Siddhartha left his princely life and family to seek enlightenment, Yasodhara continued to live in the palace. She had a deep longing for Siddhartha’s return and continued to support him in her own way, hoping for his success on his spiritual journey. After Siddhartha became the Buddha, he returned to his homeland and visited Yasodhara. Upon seeing him as the fully awakened Buddha, she became one of his devoted followers and eventually attained enlightenment herself.

Son Rahula: Siddhartha’s son, Rahula, was born shortly before Siddhartha left the palace. After many years, when Rahula was a young boy, he expressed a desire to meet his father. Siddhartha returned to the palace, and upon meeting his father, Rahula decided to follow him as a novice monk. Rahula later became a monk and one of the Buddha’s foremost disciples.

Birth Family’s Acceptance: It is said that Siddhartha’s return to his family was a significant event, and they all came to accept him as the Buddha and embraced his teachings. His father, King Suddhodana, also became a follower of the Buddha and eventually attained enlightenment.

These reunions and the acceptance of Siddhartha as the Buddha by his birth family are often cited as examples of the transformative power of the Buddha’s teachings and the deep spiritual connections that can be forged within families. It is worth noting that these accounts are based on traditional Buddhist narratives and may vary in interpretation among different Buddhist traditions and texts.

Traditions Associated With Buddha’s Enlightenment Day

Birth of Siddhartha Gautama: Siddhartha Gautama, who would later become Buddha, was born in Lumbini, Nepal, in the 6th century BCE. His birth is celebrated on this day, and it is believed to have taken place under a sal tree in a garden.

Enlightenment: The most significant event commemorated on this day is Siddhartha Gautama’s enlightenment, which occurred when he was meditating under the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya, India. It is said that he attained supreme enlightenment and became the Buddha, meaning “the awakened one” or “the enlightened one.” This event is often depicted in Buddhist art and literature.

Noble Eightfold Path: Buddha’s enlightenment led to his understanding of the Four Noble Truths and the development of the Noble Eightfold Path, which forms the core of Buddhist teachings. Buddhists often reflect on these teachings and strive to follow the path to attain spiritual enlightenment.

Visiting Temples: Buddhists visit temples and monasteries on this day to offer prayers, light lamps, and make offerings to honor Buddha’s teachings and his enlightenment. Many temples are adorned with colorful decorations and illuminated with lanterns and candles.

Meditation and Mindfulness: Devotees engage in meditation and mindfulness practices, following in the footsteps of Buddha’s own meditation that led to his enlightenment. It’s a time for introspection and spiritual growth.

Acts of Generosity: Acts of charity and kindness are encouraged on this day. Buddhists often make donations to the less fortunate and engage in acts of generosity as a way to cultivate compassion and selflessness.

Bathing the Buddha: In some cultures, it is a tradition to pour water or scented water over statues of Buddha, symbolizing the cleansing of one’s soul and purifying one’s intentions.

Processions and Parades: In certain Buddhist-majority regions, there may be processions and parades featuring images of Buddha, traditional music, and cultural performances.

Buddha’s Enlightenment Day is a time for Buddhists to reflect on the teachings of compassion, non-violence, and the path to enlightenment that Buddha offered to the world. It is a day of spiritual significance, self-reflection, and celebration of the life and wisdom of Gautama Buddha.

What Does Bodhi Day Represent?

Buddha’s enlightenment, also known as “Bodhi,” is a central event in Buddhist tradition and is described in various Buddhist texts and scriptures. The story of Buddha’s enlightenment is a fundamental narrative in Buddhism, and it symbolizes the attainment of supreme wisdom and liberation from suffering. Here is a brief overview of how Buddha attained enlightenment:

Renunciation of Worldly Life: Siddhartha Gautama, who would later become Buddha, was born into a royal family in Lumbini, Nepal. Despite a life of luxury and privilege, he became deeply troubled by the suffering he observed in the world, such as old age, sickness, and death. This led him to renounce his princely life in search of spiritual answers.

Six Years of Austerities: After leaving his palace, Siddhartha Gautama embarked on a spiritual journey. He initially practiced extreme asceticism, fasting, and severe self-mortification, along with other ascetics. However, he realized that such extreme practices did not lead to enlightenment and were detrimental to the body and mind.

Meditation Under the Bodhi Tree: Siddhartha then decided to follow a middle path, a balanced approach between indulgence and asceticism. He sat down in meditation under a Bodhi tree (a type of fig tree) in Bodh Gaya, India, and made a determined vow not to rise until he had attained enlightenment.

The Four Noble Truths: During his meditation, Siddhartha Gautama gained deep insight into the nature of suffering and its causes. He formulated the Four Noble Truths:

The Truth of Suffering (Dukkha): Acknowledging the existence of suffering in life.

The Truth of the Cause of Suffering (Samudaya): Identifying craving and attachment as the root causes of suffering.

The Truth of the Cessation of Suffering (Nirodha): Understanding that suffering can be ended by eliminating its causes.

The Truth of the Path to the Cessation of Suffering (Magga): Describing the Noble Eightfold Path as the way to end suffering and attain enlightenment.

Attainment of Nirvana: As Siddhartha meditated under the Bodhi tree, he experienced profound realizations and insights into the nature of reality. On the full moon night of Vesak (Buddha’s Enlightenment Day), he finally attained Nirvana, which is a state of complete liberation from suffering, desire, and rebirth. This marked the moment of his enlightenment.

Proclaiming the Dharma: After attaining enlightenment, Siddhartha Gautama became known as Buddha, or the “Awakened One.” He spent the rest of his life teaching his insights and wisdom to others, forming the foundation of Buddhism.

Buddha’s enlightenment is seen as the culmination of his spiritual journey and the discovery of the path to liberation from suffering. It is the central event that transformed Siddhartha into the Buddha and led to the development of Buddhist teachings, which have had a profound impact on the lives of countless individuals and continue to be followed by Buddhists around the world.

The Bodhi Tree

Also known as the Bo tree, the Bodhi Tree is a significant and sacred tree in Buddhism. It is most famous for being the tree under which Siddhartha Gautama, who later became known as Gautama Buddha, attained enlightenment. Here are some key aspects of the Bodhi tree:

Location of Enlightenment: The Bodhi tree is traditionally believed to have been located in Bodh Gaya, a town in the Indian state of Bihar. It was under this tree that Siddhartha Gautama sat down to meditate and ultimately attained enlightenment.

Symbol of Enlightenment: The Bodhi tree symbolizes the place where the Buddha achieved supreme enlightenment and awakened to the true nature of reality. It serves as an important symbol of enlightenment, wisdom, and liberation from suffering in Buddhism.

Bodhi Day: As mentioned earlier, Bodhi Day (or Rohatsu in Japan) is celebrated on December 8th in some Buddhist traditions to commemorate the Buddha’s enlightenment under the Bodhi tree.

Ficus religiosa: The scientific name of the Bodhi tree is Ficus religiosa. It is a species of fig tree and is often referred to as the “sacred fig.” It is a large, long-lived tree with heart-shaped leaves.

Pilgrimage Site: The Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya is considered one of the most important pilgrimage sites for Buddhists. Devotees from around the world visit this site to pay their respects and meditate in the vicinity of the tree.

Maintenance: Over the centuries, the original Bodhi tree at Bodh Gaya has been replaced several times due to natural aging and damage. The current tree at the site is believed to be a direct descendant of the original Bodhi tree. It is carefully tended to and protected as a living symbol of the Buddha’s enlightenment.

The Bodhi tree holds great significance in Buddhist tradition as the site where Siddhartha Gautama, after years of meditation and deep contemplation, achieved spiritual awakening and became the Buddha, the “Enlightened One.” It continues to inspire Buddhists and spiritual seekers worldwide.

The Path To Enlightenment, According To The Buddha

According to Buddhism, the path to achieving enlightenment, also known as Nirvana, is outlined in the teachings of the Buddha and is often referred to as the “Noble Eightfold Path.” The Noble Eightfold Path consists of eight interconnected principles or practices that guide individuals toward spiritual awakening and liberation from suffering. These principles are divided into three categories: wisdom, ethical conduct, and mental discipline. Here is an overview of the Noble Eightfold Path and its components:

  1. Right View (Samma Ditthi): This is the correct understanding of the Four Noble Truths, which acknowledge the existence of suffering (dukkha), its causes, its cessation, and the path to its cessation.
  2. Right Intention (Samma Sankappa): It involves cultivating wholesome intentions and motivations, such as renunciation, compassion, and goodwill, while abandoning unwholesome desires and intentions.
  3. Right Speech (Samma Vaca): Practicing truthful, kind, and skillful communication while refraining from lying, harsh speech, divisive speech, and idle chatter.
  4. Right Action (Samma Kammanta): Engaging in ethical and virtuous conduct by refraining from harming living beings, stealing, and engaging in sexual misconduct.
  5. Right Livelihood (Samma Ajiva): Choosing a livelihood or occupation that is honest, ethical, and does not harm others or contribute to suffering.
  6. Right Effort (Samma Vayama): Exerting effort to develop wholesome qualities and abandon unwholesome ones. It involves cultivating mindfulness and self-discipline.
  7. Right Mindfulness (Samma Sati): Developing mindfulness, awareness, and concentration in the present moment. This includes awareness of body, feelings, mind, and mental phenomena.
  8. Right Concentration (Samma Samadhi): Cultivating deep concentration and mental stability through meditation practices. This leads to a focused and one-pointed mind.

The Noble Eightfold Path is often depicted as a wheel, symbolizing the path to liberation from the cycle of suffering and rebirth (samsara). It emphasizes the balanced development of wisdom, ethical conduct, and mental discipline. Following this path is seen as a means to attain enlightenment and ultimately reach Nirvana, a state of freedom from suffering and the cycle of birth and death.

It’s important to note that the Noble Eightfold Path is not a linear progression but rather an interconnected set of practices that individuals can work on simultaneously. Buddhism teaches that following this path with sincerity, mindfulness, and dedication can lead to spiritual awakening and the realization of one’s true nature.

 

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Transformational Self-Inquiry For Fancy New Agers

Transformational Self-Inquiry For Fancy New Agers

In the ever-expanding universe of New Age spirituality, where the boundaries between the tangible and the ethereal often blur, there exists a vibrant path for personal discovery and transformation: Self-Inquiry for Fancy New Agers. 

This method is not merely an exploration but a profound journey inward, designed for those who are ready to challenge their perceptions, embrace their truths, and redefine their reality. Here, we present an introduction to this transformative practice, tailored specifically for enthusiasts of New Age spirituality who are eager to delve deeper into the essence of their being and the mysteries of the universe.

At the heart of this self-inquiry method are fourteen pivotal questions, each serving as a luminous beacon on your path to self-discovery. These questions are not meant to be comfortable or easy. Instead, they are designed to confront, challenge, and ultimately liberate you from the illusions that have been skillfully woven into the fabric of your existence.

Exploring Delusion and Fantasy: Begin by questioning the nature of your delusions and your preference for fantasy over reality. Avoiding and canceling are acts of the faint of courage and heart.

Confronting Self-Deception: Reflect on how you may have lied to yourself and others to escape the truth of your existence and evade the depths of your true self.

The Allure of Other Realms: Investigate why realms beyond this physical one fascinate you, especially when you haven’t fully engaged with or mastered the reality you inhabit.

Facing Inner Fears: Probe into the fears that lurk within you, the aspects of your self and your past that you are hesitant to acknowledge or confront.

Understanding Loneliness: Examine the roots of your loneliness, seeking to understand why you feel isolated and how this perception shapes your reality.

Identifying the False Self: Discern who the false self is that needs to be shed in order to reveal your true essence. Who are you, beneath the layers of illusion?

Envisioning a Grounded Existence: Contemplate who you can become in this life—a person who is grounded, whole, and true to their essence. Define her aspirations, her loves, and her path.

Living with Dharma and Virtue: Consider whether you can live in alignment with The Dharma and The Noble Truths, grounding yourself in virtue and striving to become a genuine healer and a spiritually self-reliant being.

Recognizing False Projections: Reflect on the false projections you cast upon the world and understand what you hope to gain from them. What do these illusions truly bring into your life?

Examining Your Spirituality: Analyze the components of your spirituality, distinguishing between conjecture and absolute truth, to understand the foundation of your beliefs.

Self as Teacher: Assess whether you are the best guide for yourself or if you have reached the limits of self-guided growth.

The Need for External Guidance: Acknowledge whether you are humble enough to accept that your journey may require the guidance of others to reach deeper understanding and liberation.

Openness to Master Guidance: Be open to the existence of masters of spacetime, those awakened and enlightened beings who can guide you beyond your perceived limits.

Seeking Cosmic Bliss: Finally, question who can lead you beyond the confines of your constructed self into the vastness of cosmic bliss, recognizing that this journey may require guidance beyond your own.

This method of self-inquiry is not for the faint-hearted. It demands courage, honesty, and a relentless desire to uncover the truth of one’s existence. 

For the seekers, the dreamers, and the wanderers of the New Age, it offers a path to profound transformation and enlightenment—a journey not outward into the cosmos, but inward into the vast, uncharted territories of the self.

The New-Age Wake-Up Call

Diving deeply into these questions will help you awaken to your delusions. Breaking up the fascia of these projections will help you know yourself more deeply – and begin to approach your liberation.

  1. How am I delusional and why do I seek fantasy over reality? What do I hope to avoid or obfuscate?
  2. Specifically, how have I lied to my Self and others to avoid reality and my deepest Self?
  3. Why are “other realms” so interesting to me, when I have refused to master this one?
  4. What am I afraid to see within my Self and among my prior events and experiences?
  5. How am I lonely and why do I feel this way?
  6. Specifically, who is the false Self that needs to go, and who is underneath? Who am I really? 
  7. Who can I successfully become in this life that is grounded and whole? What does she do? What does she want? Where is she going? What and whom does she love? 
  8. Can I live according to The Dharma and The Noble Truths? Can I ground my Self in virtue and finally become a real and Self-reliant, spiritually-included person? Can I become a real, genuine healer?
  9. How do I project something false into every circumstance, event, condition, or day – in what ways, on what topics, in what categories, with what types of people? What am I hoping this projection gives me? In reality, what does the falseness actually give me?
  10. What does my spirituality comprise? Where is it conjecture? What are the certain truths?
  11. Am I the best teacher for me? Or have I taken my Self as far as I can go?
  12. Am I humble enough to know that there are people, other than my Self, needed to guide me to my depths and liberation? 
  13. Am I open to knowing that there are masters of spacetime – awakened masters and enlightened gurus – who have the profound expertise to take me beyond my limits?
  14. Who can take me beyond my small, contrived, false Self and into the bliss of the Cosmos? Since I have never been there before, how could I possibly be my own guide for this adventure? 

Your Commitment

If you’re ready to make a commitment to yourself and all of The Universe, print this out and check them off as you agree to them.

______ I will seek and embrace teachings that point me to deep inquiry, emotional release, and clarity – this includes The Buddhist 4 Noble Truths, and the Advaita Vedanta – the teachings from ancient Indian sages. 

______ I will seek an enlightened master to help me move beyond my contrived Self and all the pain from core traumas – from this life and prior. I have many to choose from: Amma, Paramahansa Yogananda, Mother Meera, and many more, living or transcended.

______ I will limit my time fantasizing about angels, aliens, mermaids, and other realms.

______ I will actively practice mindfulness and meditation daily, creating a sacred space within myself for tranquility, reflection, and personal growth.

______ I will cultivate a habit of journaling as a tool for self-inquiry, to explore my thoughts, emotions, and experiences more deeply, ensuring an honest dialogue with myself.

______ I will commit to a lifestyle that supports my spiritual and physical well-being, including a balanced diet, regular exercise, and adequate rest, recognizing my body as the temple of my spirit.

______ I will dedicate time to nature and solitude, recognizing the healing and grounding power of the earth and the importance of disconnecting from the digital world to reconnect with my inner self.

______ I will practice non-attachment, learning to let go of material possessions, outcomes, and even relationships that do not serve my highest good or impede my spiritual journey.

______ I will engage in community service and acts of kindness, understanding that selfless service is a path to spiritual growth and interconnectedness with all beings.

______ I will seek and foster relationships that are truthful, deep, and meaningful, distancing myself from situations and individuals that thrive on superficiality, negativity, or drama.

______ I will embrace vulnerability and emotional honesty as strengths, allowing myself to feel, express, and process my emotions in a healthy manner, without fear of judgment or rejection.

______ I will continuously educate myself on spiritual philosophies and practices beyond my initial interests, remaining open to wisdom from various traditions and cultures to enrich my understanding of the world and myself.

______ I will prioritize ethical living and make conscious choices that reflect my commitment to the well-being of the planet and all its inhabitants, adopting practices that promote sustainability, compassion, and harmony.

______ I will practice forgiveness, both towards myself and others, recognizing that harboring resentment binds me to the past and hinders my spiritual progression.

______ I will seek silence and stillness regularly, understanding their power in revealing the depths of my being and the wisdom of the universe.

______ I will remember that spiritual growth is a journey, not a destination, and be patient with myself, honoring the process and being open to the lessons each moment brings.

______ I will stay committed to questioning and dismantling the illusions and beliefs that limit my understanding of myself and the universe, courageously seeking truth in all its forms.

These commitments, when embraced fully, promise not just a transformation of the self but a redefinition of one’s place in the cosmos, paving the way for a life of depth, purpose, and genuine enlightenment.

The Shankara Oracle can help you command a greater sense of Self and achieve the ability of releasing false new-age ideologies as they are presented to you and as you begin to consume them. 

Finally

As you stand at the precipice of this grand adventure, armed with your commitments and guided by the light of self-inquiry, remember: the journey inward is the most exhilarating journey of all. You are about to embark on a quest not just for self-discovery but for cosmic discovery, where each step, each commitment, each moment of introspection is a leap towards the most authentic version of yourself and a deeper connection with the universe.

The path you’ve chosen is not easy, nor is it meant to be. It is, however, profoundly rewarding. You will face challenges and confront shadows, but in doing so, you will also encounter unimaginable beauty, profound wisdom, and the purest forms of love and peace. This journey will reshape not only how you view yourself but how you perceive the world around you. It promises transformation that is as vast as the cosmos and as intimate as your own heartbeat.

So, take these commitments, these questions, and this newfound wisdom with you as you step boldly into the unknown. Embrace the journey with an open heart and an eager spirit. Remember, you are not alone on this path. A community of fellow seekers, enlightened masters, and the very fabric of the universe itself supports and guides you.

Let joy be your compass and curiosity your guide. There will be moments of transcendence that take your breath away, moments when the boundaries between you and the universe dissolve, and you realize that you are a part of everything, and everything is a part of you. These moments are your treasures, your reminders of why you embarked on this journey.

In closing, let this be not just an end but a beginning—a launchpad into a life lived with depth, authenticity, and spiritual richness. The universe awaits, your inner self awaits, and the journey of a lifetime begins with a single step, a single question, a single commitment. Embrace it with all that you are and all that you will become. The journey is yours, and it is magnificent. Welcome to your grand adventure.

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Externalizer Personality: Signs of a Toxic Partner and How to Deal with Toxic Relationships

Ah, The Externalizer – a fascinating specimen in the complex ecosystem of human personalities. 

The externalizer personality often seems confident at first but quickly reveals toxic dynamics. Recognizing the signs of a toxic partner is key to knowing how to deal with toxic relationships before lasting harm occurs.

I grew up in a crazy Externalizer family – filled with toxic patriarchs, drunk matriarchs, toxic feminists, toxic new-agers, toxic Catholics, demanding martyrs, and drug-selling and drug-addicted lunatics, rapists, and abandoners. 

Everybody around me was completely broken or deeply confused – borderline, bipolar, and abusive. They project their inner insanity onto each other and I absorbed their pain. I had no choice but to become a healer.

 It was a wild circus of narcissistic abuse. 

Ahh, but how I learned from this wacky bunch!

Externalizer Personality Explained

Externalization is a coping strategy where individuals attribute their emotions, failures, or challenges to external factors rather than looking inward. It’s a defense mechanism, a way to shield oneself from negative emotions by projecting them outward through abusive, controlling, or dramatic behavior. 

This can manifest as blaming others for personal setbacks, avoiding introspection, or seeking validation solely from external sources. It also results in a great deal of drama because whatever the Externalizer is feeling eventually makes its way into their reality – thereby impacting everyone and everything around them.

Externalization involves more than just the redirection of blame and control from oneself to the external world. It represents a multifaceted coping mechanism that individuals employ to navigate the turbulent waters of negative emotions and personal accountability. 

At its core, externalization is about attributing one’s emotions, failures, or challenges to factors outside oneself, thereby avoiding the often uncomfortable process of introspection. 

This defense mechanism serves as a shield, protecting the individual from the direct confrontation with personal shortcomings or painful emotions. However, the implications of externalization extend beyond personal deflection, touching upon aspects of control and the influence one might exert over their social environment.

Externalizer Personality and the Tendency to Control

Individuals who heavily rely on externalization may also exhibit tendencies to control or manipulate situations and people around them. By refusing to accept personal responsibility, they often seek to direct the narrative of their lives by influencing how others perceive and react to various circumstances. 

This need for control can manifest in an insistence on enrolling others into their perspective, convincing them to adopt a similar stance toward external factors as the source of their dilemmas. This behavior not only distances them from personal growth but also has the potential to strain relationships and create conflict within their social circles.

Signs of a Toxic Partner: Drama and Ideological Manipulation

The controlling nature of externalization becomes particularly evident when individuals attempt to enroll others in their drama or ideology. This enrollment is not merely about seeking validation for their viewpoints but also about creating a collective externalization where the responsibility is diffused among many, rather than being shouldered by the individual. 

Such dynamics can lead to toxic relationships and environments, where the underlying issues remain unaddressed, and the focus is continually shifted away from personal accountability. The drama becomes a shared narrative, detracting from the ability of each participant to recognize their own role in the situation or to pursue personal growth.

Externalizer Personality and Its Influence on Relationships

The impact of externalization on relationships cannot be overstated. It introduces a layer of complexity where not only is the individual shielded from their emotions, but they also actively seek to control the emotional landscape of their relationships. 

This can lead to a breakdown in communication and understanding, as the focus is on external blame rather than on mutual support and growth. Relationships become battlegrounds for ideologies and blame, rather than safe havens for emotional connection and personal development.

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships and Externalizer Challenges

Understanding and addressing the controlling aspects of externalization requires a nuanced approach. It involves recognizing the patterns of behavior that lead to externalization, both in oneself and in others, and gently steering the narrative towards personal responsibility and introspection. This does not mean dismissing the external factors that can indeed influence one’s life but rather balancing this recognition with an awareness of personal agency and emotional responsibility. 

Encouraging this balance is essential for fostering healthier relationships and promoting an environment where personal growth and accountability are valued.

While externalization serves as a defense mechanism to protect against negative emotions, its ramifications, particularly in terms of control and influence, underscore the need for a deeper understanding and proactive management of this tendency. 

By confronting and navigating these aspects, individuals can embark on a path toward more meaningful and fulfilling interactions, characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and personal growth.

Externalizer Personality: Unraveling the Impact

While externalization is a common aspect of human psychology, an overreliance on this defense mechanism can hinder personal growth and strain relationships. Recognizing these tendencies in ourselves or others is the first step toward fostering healthier interactions and developing a more resilient sense of self.

Externalization, a defense mechanism rooted deeply in the fabric of human psychology, plays a significant role in how individuals process emotions, setbacks, and challenges. While it’s a common strategy for coping with the complexities of life, an overdependence on externalizing personal issues can have profound implications, both for personal development and the health of interpersonal relationships. 

Understanding the intricate dynamics of externalization, its effects, and the steps toward mitigating its more negative impacts offers a pathway to richer, more constructive interactions and a stronger, more resilient self-identity.

Externalizer Personality as a Double-Edged Sword

At its core, externalization involves attributing internal distresses and failures to external circumstances or others. This mechanism, while serving as an immediate emotional salve, often leads to a stagnation in personal growth. When individuals consistently externalize, they deny themselves the opportunity for introspection—a critical process for learning, adapting, and evolving. This refusal to acknowledge personal responsibility not only hampers self-improvement but can also sow the seeds of discontent and misunderstanding in relationships.

Recognizing the Tendencies

The journey toward mitigating the impact of externalization begins with recognition. Acknowledging the presence of these tendencies, whether within oneself or observed in others, is a crucial first step. 

This awareness creates a foundation for change, enabling individuals to see how externalization might be influencing their perception of events, their reactions to challenges, and their interactions with others. It’s about developing a keen eye for those moments when the blame is shifted outward and asking the pivotal question: “Is there something within myself that I need to address?”

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships by Fostering Healthier Interactions

With recognition comes the opportunity to foster healthier interactions, both with oneself and with others. This involves cultivating a balanced perspective that acknowledges the role of external factors while also taking stock of personal responsibility.

 It’s about moving from a mindset of blame to one of empowerment, where challenges are seen as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles imposed by the outside world. In relationships, this shift can lead to more open and honest communication, where issues are addressed constructively, and each person’s role in conflicts is acknowledged and understood.

Developing a More Resilient Self

The benefits of moving beyond excessive externalization extend into the realm of personal resilience. As individuals learn to face and process their emotions internally, they build a stronger, more adaptable self. This resilience is not about ignoring the impact of external circumstances but rather integrating those experiences into a more comprehensive understanding of oneself.

It involves recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses, learning from both successes and failures, and developing a sense of self that is grounded in reality but not defined by external validation.

Signs of a Partner: Relationship Drama

The tendency to externalize—that is, to attribute one’s internal struggles, emotions, and failings to external factors—is a behavior observed across various groups, each with its own unique set of motivations and underlying factors. 

This inclination can be particularly pronounced in individuals who are deeply religious, exhibit martyr-like behaviors, engage in substance use, have borderline personality traits, or frequently consume alcohol to excess. 

The reasons for their externalization and the subsequent impact on their social circles are both complex and multifaceted, reflecting a blend of psychological, social, and existential influences.

Externalizer Personality in Religious or Martyr-Like Behaviors

For deeply religious individuals and those who adopt martyr-like stances, externalization often stems from a profound sense of duty or a deeply held belief in a higher moral or spiritual calling. This perspective may lead them to perceive personal struggles as tests of faith or virtue, attributing trials and tribulations to divine will rather than personal choices or circumstances. 

The drive to impress their convictions upon others can arise from an earnest desire to share what they perceive as salvific truths, but it can also manifest as a form of externalizing their own inner conflicts. By focusing on converting or saving others, they may inadvertently deflect from addressing their own vulnerabilities or needs.

Externalizer Personality in Substance Use and Personality Traits

For those engaging in substance use or exhibiting borderline personality traits, externalization can serve as a coping mechanism for managing deep-seated pain, trauma, or instability. Substance use, for instance, might initially offer an escape from internal turmoil, but over time, it can lead to a cycle of dependency where the substance becomes the blamed external factor for one’s hardships. 

Similarly, individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) may experience intense emotions and fears of abandonment, which can result in a pattern of externalizing blame as a way to cope with these overwhelming feelings. The aggression or dramatic behavior often associated with both groups can be a means of communicating distress or attempting to feel control in a world perceived as hostile or indifferent.

Externalizer Personality, Empathy, and Pain

A common thread among these groups is a heightened sensitivity to pain—either their own or that of others—and a desire for this pain to be acknowledged by the world around them. This can lead to behaviors aimed at impressing their inner turmoil onto others, hoping to elicit understanding, sympathy, or even shared suffering. The externalization of their struggles serves both as a call for help and a strategy to validate their experiences. 

In doing so, they may inadvertently exert pressure on their relationships, seeking to provoke reactions that mirror their internal chaos. This dynamic can strain social bonds, as those around them are compelled to navigate the delicate balance between offering support and protecting their own emotional well-being.

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships with an Externalizer Personality

The impact of such externalization on interpersonal relationships is significant. For those on the receiving end, it can be challenging to maintain empathy and understanding when faced with the repeated pressure to absorb or react to another’s projected struggles. The key to navigating these relationships lies in recognizing the underlying pain and vulnerability that drives externalization while also establishing healthy boundaries to protect one’s emotional space. 

For the externalizers, the path forward involves developing greater self-awareness and learning healthier coping strategies that allow for internal processing of pain and conflict, rather than projecting it outward.

Understanding why certain groups are prone to externalization offers insights into the complexities of human behavior and the profound impact of our internal worlds on our external interactions. By fostering empathy and encouraging constructive approaches to personal growth and coping, it’s possible to create more supportive environments that acknowledge individual pain while promoting healthier, more balanced relationships.

Strategies for Growth and Harmony

In the intricate dance of human relationships and personal development, understanding and managing the tendency to externalize can be transformative. For those who find themselves often looking outward to explain their inner turmoil, and for those on the receiving end of such dynamics, there are pathways to healthier interactions and personal growth. 

The journey involves introspection, acceptance, and sometimes, the difficult task of setting boundaries. Here, we explore strategies for both the externalizers and those affected by them, aiming for a more balanced, understanding, and resilient approach to life’s challenges.

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships by Cultivating Self-Awareness

The path to overcoming the habit of externalization begins with self-awareness. This involves a gentle, introspective look at one’s behaviors and the motivations behind them. Recognizing the moments when you’re tempted to place blame externally is a crucial first step. This self-reflection should be undertaken without self-judgment, as the goal is understanding, not self-reproach. Through this process, individuals can begin to unravel the complex tapestry of their emotional landscape, identifying patterns that may have previously been obscured.

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships by Embracing Responsibility

A pivotal moment in the journey away from externalization is the embrace of personal responsibility. This step is about more than just acknowledging one’s role in various situations; it’s about recognizing the power and control we each have over our reactions and emotions. The realization that we can choose how we respond to external stimuli is both empowering and liberating. It marks a shift from a stance of perceived powerlessness to one of proactive engagement with our lives and challenges.

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships Through Seeking Support

The process of changing deeply ingrained habits can be daunting. For those who feel overwhelmed by the prospect of exploring their internal experiences and shifting their response patterns, professional support can be invaluable. Therapists and counselors can offer strategies to navigate emotional turbulence and foster resilience. They provide a supportive space to explore and understand the complexities of one’s internal world, offering guidance and tools for sustainable change.

Developing Understanding

For those on the receiving end of externalization behaviors, cultivating an understanding of these dynamics can be incredibly beneficial. Recognizing that externalization is a defense mechanism rather than a personal attack can change the nature of interactions. This understanding can reduce conflict and foster compassion, opening the door to more constructive communication and connection.

How to Deal with Toxic Relationships by Setting Boundaries

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for protecting one’s emotional well-being. It’s crucial to identify and communicate your needs and limits clearly. Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-care, not selfishness. It signals to others what is acceptable and what is not, paving the way for more respectful and mindful interactions.

Making Informed Decisions

In some situations, it may become clear that distancing oneself from relationships dominated by externalization is necessary for mental health and personal well-being. This decision should be made with careful consideration and, when possible, with the support of trusted friends, family, or professionals. Trusting your judgment and prioritizing your emotional health is paramount, even when it means making difficult choices.

Externalizer Personality and Grooming Others into Vulnerability

At the heart of the externalizer’s interactions with those around them is a deeply human need for connection, validation, and understanding. However, when this need manifests through grooming behaviors aimed at bringing others into a state of extreme vulnerability, it becomes essential to approach the topic with compassion, insight, and a deep sense of empathy. Recognizing these dynamics not only helps us understand the externalizer but also empowers those who find themselves on the receiving end of such behaviors.

The Drive Behind Grooming for Vulnerability

Externalizers, grappling with their own pain and unmet needs, may unconsciously seek to create environments where their experiences and emotions are mirrored by those around them. This grooming process, though often not malicious in intent, aims to deepen bonds through shared vulnerability. However, without awareness and care, it can lead to dynamics where boundaries are blurred, and emotional well-being is compromised.

Grooming behaviors may include constantly sharing one’s own struggles in a way that implicitly demands sympathy or action, pressuring others to divulge their insecurities or pain, or creating scenarios where the externalizer is positioned as the only source of support or understanding. These actions, while seeking to establish a connection, can place undue emotional strain on individuals, making them feel responsible for the externalizer’s emotional state.

Healing & Protection For All

As we reach the conclusion of our exploration into the dynamics of externalization and its impact, it’s crucial to approach both those who have been hurt by externalizer personalities and the externalizers themselves with profound empathy and hope. The journey through these interactions is often fraught with emotional challenges, but it also opens the door to deep healing and personal growth for everyone involved.

For Those Affected by Externalizer Personality

If you’ve been impacted by someone with a tendency to externalize, know that your feelings and experiences are valid. The confusion, exhaustion, and emotional strain you may feel in these relationships are understandable responses to being drawn into another’s unresolved emotional turmoil. It’s important to remember that your primary responsibility is to your own emotional well-being. 

This means allowing yourself space to heal, setting boundaries that protect your peace, and seeking support that reinforces your strength and resilience. Your journey is one of self-care and self-respect, recognizing that you are worthy of relationships that bring joy, mutual respect, and genuine connection.

Encouragement and Growth for the Externalizer Personality

For those who recognize externalizing tendencies within themselves, this moment of awareness is a powerful first step toward transformation. It takes courage to look inward and acknowledge the ways in which your actions may have impacted others. But in this acknowledgment lies the potential for profound change.

Seeking professional help is not an admission of defeat; rather, it’s a brave and hopeful step towards understanding and growth. Therapists and counselors can offer invaluable guidance as you work to uncover the roots of your externalization, learn healthier coping mechanisms, and begin to dissolve the projections and obsessions that have stood in the way of true connection.

The process of owning your experiences, emotions, and actions is not easy, but it is incredibly rewarding. It opens up a path to relationships based on authenticity, mutual respect, and deep understanding. By committing to this journey, you’re not just preventing harm to others; you’re also opening yourself up to the kind of personal growth that leads to genuine happiness and fulfilling connections.

A Path of Empathy and Healing

To everyone navigating the complexities of relationships influenced by externalization, remember that change is possible, and healing is within reach. For those who’ve been hurt, embracing your worth and prioritizing your emotional health can transform your life’s narrative. For the externalizers, embracing the journey toward self-awareness and change can radically improve your relationships and your sense of self.

This path is not always easy, but it is rich with potential for healing, growth, and transformation. Together, by fostering understanding, patience, and compassion, we can build a more empathetic and connected world—one where everyone is seen, heard, and valued.

Last Updated; September 18, 2025

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.