Forgiveness is the most powerful action you can take in your life. If you focused on forgiving yourself and others for a period of 3 months, you would reduce a long list of harmful things in your life, including:

• Anger
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Stress
• Sickness
• Self-neglect
• Self-loathing
• Procrastination

Many religions speak of forgiveness, which is wonderful. While many church and temple leaders provoke the egos of their followers, hoping to insight contrived singularity, hatred, and division, we’re lucky that some spiritual places still teach peace, love, connectedness, and forgiveness. 

There are three kinds of forgiveness: 

1. Rehearsed: Rehearsed forgiveness is something we do when we feel obligated to forgive ourselves or another person. Religions are good at teaching us rehearsed forgiveness.
2. Intellectual: We contrive a state of mind that imagines forgiveness. We construct behaviors and ideas related to forgiveness. We can live this way for years and years, without ever getting to the heart of the matter.
3. Fully-Embodied: This involves a deep commitment to yourself – and deep emotional and spiritual work. It takes focus, prayer, meditation, positivity, and vulnerability. Without each of these aspects, fully-embodied forensic forgiveness cannot occur. 

The deeper we go, the more expanded we become. In my forensic forgiveness process, I instruct people to sit quietly with the thoughts of who we need to forgive. Follow these steps:

1: Imagine this person or group. See them fully in your mind’s eye. 

2: If possible, even in the midst of all of your anger or sadness, find some love for them. Even a tiny sprinkle will do. 

3: Focus on one person for a while. Imagine how they hurt you. Allow the imagery to come to mind. 

4: Grieve each image that you see and feel. 

5: Allow other images to emerge, including images that are tangential to your experience with this person. 

6: Grieve each one of these images as well. The more imagery you can feel-through, the more expanded you become. You must release these emotions. You must connect with what was so horrible so that you can now decide to let it all go – and never look back. 

7: Repeat this out loud, as if speaking to the person who harmed you: I am love. You are love. I am sorry. I believe on some level that you are sorry. I forgive myself. Truly, I forgive myself. I forgive you. Please allow me to forgive you. Self, please allow me to forgive this person. I forgive you. I love you. It is done. 

8: Please understand that this person is you. Because he or she is truly you. There is no other in this world. There is no separation between other living Beings. Like vines on a tree, we are a collective consciousness. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and you’ll forgive all of the future experiences that have the same attributes as the situation you’ve been focusing on here.

9: Admit that somehow you invited this person into your life. Somehow you attracted this aspect of the Universe. Take responsibility for it. Don’t play the victim – that’s a game that nobody wins. Forget the lawsuit, forget the revenge. Just accept the lesson, make a list of what you learned, make a list of what you still need to learn, promise you won’t do this again. Then move on with your life. 

Two of the bigger pieces of forensic forgiveness include: setting boundaries and letting go. When we forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that we have to forget everything about them. We might even choose to limit our exposure to them. In some cases, even with family, we might choose to completely release them from our lives. Letting go requires that we release our attachments to what happened. If we set our boundaries and limits correctly, we can protect and preserve this “letting go.” If we’re not careful, we can unwind the deep work that we’ve done. Always protect yourself after forgiving someone. 

Remember, too, that your primary relationship is with the Universe, not others. When you decide to let go of someone, the Universe will support you. Forgive yourself, forgive others, set boundaries, release all of it. 

Looking for more? Free yourself with the Free Yourself Audio Course!

How to find love, how to ask the right questions. Shutterstock licensed image.

Dating Questions That Inspire Authenticity

Whether you’re running hot on OkCupid, Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, Happen, Clover, Plenty Of Fish, Match, eHarmony, or a newly trending dating app or site, it’s helpful to set a vision for your pursuit. It’s also vital that you have a game plan – especially for folks who are wildly sensitive, spiritually-minded, super-prayerful, or all of the above.

Whether you’re a healer, doctor, thinker, laborer, teacher, executive, manager, or just a down-right hard worker, we all need wonderful, loving, and aware partners in our lives. Throughout the process of seeking a lover or partner, it might feel easier to place the responsibility on the other person, but, truly, it’s up to each person to uplevel his/her/their sensibilities and awareness at the beginning of the hunt. The best way to do this is to prepare dating questions that inspire authentic answers.

Chemistry is nothing. It can be contrived.

Ego is nothing. It can mislead.

Mind and mental acuity are often nothing. They can misinform.

What drives value and longevity in relationships?

Sensitivity, quality communication, awareness, attention, loyalty, presence, and empathy. If you and your partner can commit to these things, you will find your lives to be uniquely loving and enjoyable.

1 – Let Your Dating Vision Inform the Best Dating Questions

When starting out, it’s important to write down a few thoughts – and commit to them. When forming your Dating Vision, consider these dating questions:

• How do you like to feel when with your partner?
• What are your partner’s primary attributes?
• How will your partner respond to confrontation, feedback, and communication challenges?
• How will you respond to confrontation, feedback, and communication challenges?
• How will you celebrate and allow for your differences?
• How will you and your potential partner respond to upheaval and surprises?
• How will you and your potential partner communicate when one or both of you is angry?
• Are you willing to skip sex while you’re dating?
• What do you require from sex?
• Which potential habits will you not allow in your potential partner?
• Which habits are you working on so that you can be the best you can be in your new relationship?
• What areas of your life and how are you stubborn?
• Are you truly willing to improve yourself?
• How forgiving are you? Can you be more forgiving?
• If your partner is not a relationship leader, can you be the leader?
• How important will empathy and compassion be in your new relationship?
• Will you allow yourself to have sex with potential suitors – before really knowing them?
• Will you be cautious or revealing during the early days of exploring your new relationship?
• Are you willing to pursue dharmic relationships (in service to truth and soul evolution) versus karmic (contractual, need-based) ones?

Click to get The Personality Cards from Paul Wagner

2 – Your Dating Game Plan

When in pursuit of a partnership, especially a romantic one, it’s important to have a game plan and dating questions. Consider these questions:

• Which apps will you use and which ones will you refrain from using? Why?
• Will you be paying for meals or will the other person be paying? Or will you split the bills?
• Will you pursue having meals together or only coffee at first?
• Are you looking to just have fun or to find a truly wonderful partner?
• How much effort every week are you willing to dedicate to this pursuit?
• Will you be extra prayerful during this timeframe?

Your contract is not with individuals, it’s with the Universe.

3 – Getting Over Yourself

The most important thing we can do in life is getting over ourselves.

To have successful relationships with primary partners and lovers requires transparency, humility, and accepting that each of us has something to work on within ourselves. There is no “other.” Most often, the other person is not the problem. Mostly, we are resistant to change, we refuse to acknowledge that we can be more compassionate, and when it comes to listening, we can all be a little lazy.

The second most important skill we need to develop is forgiveness. This doesn’t mean we allow harmful people back into our lives, it means that we are able to release our anger and resentment upon most infractions.

Your ego is fiction.

Your temporary self-identity is fiction.

Release what is false.

4 – The Best Dating Questions For Pre-Dating Exploration

When we’re using an app to find love, it’s important to use the app to its full extent. One rule that you might find helpful is to never meet anybody unless you spend 1-month texting with them via the app. This is important so that you don’t quickly jump into projections and allow chemistry to override your sense of reality.

When exploring a potential partner, don’t pretend to be someone else. In fact, it’s best to lay all of your aspects out in the first several exchanges. This way, you and your partner can keep projection and fantasy to a dull roar. Focus on being authentic, even if it upsets the other person. Be fully yourself.

Here are 65 dating questions you can ask within your favorite dating apps BEFORE you meet for coffee:

1. What do you find most enjoyable in life?
2. What do you find to be the most beneficial definition of success?
3. How do you resolve conflicts in your life?
4. In what ways do you demonstrate love when in a relationship?
5. In what ways are you selfish in relationships?
6. How forgiving are you?
7. How do you feel about the words fuck, twat, asshole, and mother fucker?
8. When you see a child, do you often smile at him or her?
9. Are you affectionate?
10. How important is sex to you?
11. What specifically is sex to you?
12. How often do you need to have sex – after the 2-3 year mark – in a relationship?
13. What is the wildest thing you’ve done?
14. Have you ever been arrested?
15. Have you ever been addicted to drugs or alcohol? If yes, tell me more about your recovery and current status.
16. What is your concept of God?
17. What is your concept of The Universe?
18. What are your most self-improving habits?
19. What types of healthy food do you love to eat?
20. What types of junk food do you love to eat?
21. Ever bite your fingernails? How about your toenails?!
22. Ever have sex in a department store?
23. How do you feel about traveling?
24. What is the most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?
25. What is your longest relationship or marriage?
26. Do you believe that aliens from other planets and galaxies are living on our planet?
27. Ever do anything playful with your privates, like put it into a pie or watermelon? (it’s a movie reference!)
28. Ever use something unusual to penetrate your vagina for pleasure?
29. What is the most compassionate thing you’ve done in your life?
30. How would you describe your level of empathy?
31. Have you ever taken The Empath’s Oath?
32. How have you resolved your most traumatizing events from childhood and your younger years?
33. When something challenging happens to you, are you proactive or reactive?
34. When it comes to intentionally improving your life, are you a warrior or a victim?
35. Have you ever been molested or raped? If so, are you still angry or upset about it? Are you still broken in some way? Do you pray for that person? Have you forgiven them?
36. On a scale of 1 to 10, how positive are you in your daily life?
37. When you’re angry or grumpy, what do you do to improve your state of mind and heart?
38. How do you feel about ceremonies, rituals, and prayers?
39. Do you ever envision praying with your primary partner or lover?
40. What are you generally willing to do so that you can improve your attitudes, feelings, moods, and demeanor?
41. What are your most unique skills and talents?
42. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you love being in nature?
43. Are you vegetarian or vegan?
44. Do you have any dietary restrictions?
45. If you’re a meat-eater, have you ever hunted and killed your own animal food?
46. Do you like to watch birds?
47. Do you kill spiders that you find in the house or do you capture them and release them outside?
48. Do you vote? Why or why not?
49. Do you have a political party affiliation? If so, are you passionate about this party?
50. What are your core beliefs (one sentence each) regarding welfare, minorities, immigration, free national health-care, and military spending?
51. Have you ever traveled outside the US? If so, what is your favorite places to visit?
52. What places in the US and Europe do you like to frequent?
53. How do you serve or help others who are less fortunate?
54. Do you invest money in the stock market, cryptocurrency, or anything related to your interests or passions?
55. Do you like to garden?
56. When you see a living creature flying or crawling on the ground near you, do you ever engage the little Being in conversation?
57. When you pray, who do you pray to and what do you pray for?
58. Do you believe in miracles? How so?
59. What is the most lovely event that you’ve experienced so far in life?
60. When you think about death, what comes to your mind and heart?
61. Do you know the difference between co-dependent and co-interdependent?
62. Are you willing to live co-interdependently, where each person seeks to uplift and encourage the other person to be self-sufficient?
63. Are you willing to be in a relationship where there is no blame or shame, only patience and loving encouragement?
64. Can you foresee a relationship that does not allow expectations and demands, and where there are only well-communicated agreements?
65. Are you willing to commit to being peaceful and loving in all things, including yourself?

If you get push-back for wanting to only text for a while, say this:

“We’re all prone to poor decisions because of media influences throughout our lives. We’re all vulnerable. Each one of us needs some distance from images, perfume, charisma, intimacy tactics, and projection. Texting for a while helps a lot with these things. Also, I am a very open, kind, and emotionally-minded man. I love people from all walks of life. Choosing a partner for a life-long journey requires some deep exploration. It can be easy to fall into a relationship with someone for a myriad of reasons – some alignment, physical chemistry, passion, short-term connection, etc. With texting, we can explore some of the more pertinent questions, thereby accelerating the learning processes – without all the normal human distractions. Then we can determine whether it feels right to meet. This is akin to eHarmony, but without their contrived questionnaires and chemistry hooks. It’s real, it’s authentic, and it works for both parties – long term.”

You are the only person you ever interact with. There is no other.

“Don’t find fault with anyone. Not even with an insect. As you pray to God for devotion, so also pray that you may not find fault with anyone. Never think that you alone have true understanding and others are fools. One must love all, No one is a stranger. It is Hari alone who dwells in all beings. Nothing exists without Him”  – Bhagvan Sri Ramakrishna

EMBODY LOVE, SEEK LOVE, AND HUMBLY SERVE YOUR LOVER!

We are all lucky to be alive during this time in the planet’s history. There are still abundances of healthy people, animals, trees, vegetation, water sources, minerals, healing herbs, and etheric Beings. There are also wondrous storms of divine magic. Many of us are protected from the ravages of war, and some people have evolved their souls to such degrees that they share light and love with others, without expectation of anything in return. All of these things are miracles. Each one of us is a miracle. You are a miracle. In this article, let’s have a look at intentions vs brain here.

When we’re born, we are thrust into the world as mostly unbound spirits. During the early days, we live from pure vibration and gut-impulse. We are needy, trusting sponges, ready for anything. Since our prior realities were comprised of energy and etheric connection, the density and slow pace of our newly minted lives confuse us.

As the months ensue, we yearn for the Mother, the eternal feminine vibration that has spoken to us for eons. Our first attempt at manifesting the Mother in our lives was through the women who gave birth to us. We continue to project the roles of Mother and Father on a variety of people and institutions throughout our lives. Until we internalize the eternal Mother and Father and own all of it, we tend to feel disappointed. 

As we meander through the world, we take on the projections of others and allow others to control and influence our intentions, thoughts, identities, and actions. Within our first few years of life, we memorize and adopt a variety of beliefs, ideologies, and constructs, most of which are based less on truth and more on the egos of others. We begin to become dependent on approval and herd-mentality. Instead of diving more deeply into our natures, we want to be and do what others have been and done. 

Our families want us to be something specific, our religions want us to adopt their doctrines, and we allow society to burden us with limited, predetermined titles that outline how to spend most of our time while living on the planet. By age 18, our original vibrations and gut-senses are covered in garbage. Our quest is to become free of all of it. This is why spirituality is so important.

What Exactly Is Vibration?

Our souls continually emit interconnected packets of energy, much like how packets of data are transmitted from computers to the internet. As we emit, so we attract. When our spirits begin to form intentions, they cannot be described in words. They have no barriers to entry into the vibrational fields of reality. This makes intention extremely powerful and potent. 

Meanwhile, our brains can create thoughts that carry equally substantial energy, which can also influence our realities. But the brain emits energy in disconnected, unsupported bursts. While the bursts might have a moment of successful penetration and participation in reality, they lack the potency of our intentions. If the energy burst is weak, it will die out before causing any material influence. If the brain burst is strong, it might penetrate or infect reality with a temporary construct, but it won’t have a lasting effect, unless it’s immediately and continuously repeated. When we allow our brains to rule our lives, we tend to deny our soul’s understandings and desires. This is when many of us become exhausted, numb, or sick. 

Sheer Will, Brain Trusts, and Vibrational Alignment

How did we come to birth on this planet, specifically during this era? What were the instigators? Was it the sheer wills of our souls, the collective brain trust of prior and parallel lives, or were we born into this timeframe because our pre-birth intentions and vibrations matched emerging Earthly trends?

While our wills and brain trusts carry a measure of influence, our vibrations and intentions will always rule our realities. Will is built upon the temporary ego and fortified by the elusive mind. Will and brain-trusts might help us move through spacetime and occasionally tip the scales, but they’re less penetrating and magnetic than vibrations and intentions. 

Because we are comprised of energy, our intentions and vibrations will always carry the day, especially when we’re living in the other realms and choosing to birth. Once we’re living in three-dimensional realities, we tend to trust our egos and wills, thereby denigrating our intentions and vibrations. When we allow this to happen, we tend to miss out on aspects that will provoke a quickened evolution. 

Our vibrating natures, eternal and magnetic, have more power than we realize. This is why meditation, forgiveness, and love are so important. These things are all born from spirit. They’re empowered by our souls’ eternal connections to the natures of the Universes. As we meditate, forgive, and love, we vibrate with the nature of the All-That-Is. 

Just How Powerful Are Our Intentions and Vibrations?

Given that we are all magnetic by nature and continually connected to the source, our intentions and vibrations are extremely powerful. When we move past or through our emotions, detach from our obsessive minds, and seek the highest power, we become the highest power. 

If we can meditate and pray early in the morning and before we go to bed, we can improve our abilities to honor our souls’ intentions and vibrations. Doing so, we become more attractive to everything. If we can also regularly think of God throughout our waking hours, we will improve our connection to our most effulgent truths. We might even remember all of them!

There is nothing material or dangerous that can stop us from seeking the depths of ourselves. While our temporary self-identities are adept at contriving fears and excuses, it’s vital to realize that our twisted daydreams and most toxic nightmares rarely come true. We are comprised of far more light than dark. Focus on the light, while allowing the darkness to inform you. This is the relationship that the Universe has had with itself for all time. You are light and love, always.