When Love Is Difficult To Find

Love Is Difficult to Find Until We Open Our Eyes

We are always looking for experiences outside ourselves. We use these experiences to help us decide whether or not to be happy in any given moment. We continuously seek relationships, with the hope that each one will give us a missing part of ourselves. We buy cars, take trips, cut our hair, and work out. We run from place to place, hoping for at least one moment on this day, we will have a moment of unfettered joy. We might not even care about the joy at this point in our lives. We might simply be yearning for flashes of feeling free. 

Why are these moments of feeling joy and freedom so rare? Why does love and freedom escape us? Why can’t we find love and freedom – right now, right here? What is wrong with me?

First of all, there is nothing wrong with you. Love is the most difficult action we can take in this world. The problem is that we believe love to be a feeling. It’s not. Love is an action. Some of us believe love to involve romance. It doesn’t. There is nothing loving about romance. Romance is a projection that does not involve the other person. It involves what you are projecting onto the other person. It also requires that the other person give you something very specific. When this specific gift is no longer available, neither is the romance. Love is not romance. Romance is not love.

Romance involves neediness, demands, projection, desire, enabling, and passive aggression. Love is simply an action whereby we choose to serve and honor another person. Love is not demanding, needy, or hurtful. And while it’s never complicated, we often complicate it. Instead of looking for love within ourselves, we expect to only experience love from others. We might become so unreasonable that we’ll shame the other person into becoming the exact image of our unreasonable and unconscious idea of love. 

We prefer to objectify our lovers, manipulating them into servitude, rather than educating them by becoming an example of love. As we imprison others, we become imprisoned. 

So, where is all the love that’s available to me? 

Love is difficult to find only when we don’t realize that it’s exclusively available from the source. You are connected to the source. Once you become love, you’ll basque in it, which in turn will reflect onto the other people in your life. They still might not meet your secret expectations, but those expectations will pale in comparison to your embodiment of love. As you live in love, you’ll want to serve others – and all the details will fade away. You’ll obsess less, project less, and demand less. You’ll live in the moment more and more, and you’ll be satisfied. When you seek love from within, you achieve a durable, lasting love. It’s a river of love that continues to give – if you allow it. No matter who comes and goes in your life, this love can never be taken away from you. 

Some people believe that God is love. I believe that God is love. I believe that the whole Universe, and all the realms and Universes throughout our ever-expanding creation are one Being, all born from love. We were love long before our physical birth in this life. Some of us might bring former life memories and attitudes into this life, and potentially corrupt it. We might learn bad habits in this life and disconnect from love. Regardless, we can always return to our birthright – LOVE. It’s a choice in every moment of every day. 

When love is difficult to find, free yourself! Check out the Free Yourself Mini Audio Course to get a taste of what it’s like to find freedom and embrace love everywhere.

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

What Does It Mean When We Say “No Excuses”?

Throughout our lives, we see many people succeed and many who fail. We might workshop those who reach the tops of mountains, and we might dismiss those who suffer defeat. As we wander the planet pursuing our passions and interests, we might secretly worship one of the world’s “winners” in our mind’s eye, hoping that one day we’ll achieve a status equal to theirs. Amid our own victories and failures, we learn what works and what doesn’t. We either improve, pivot, or die. If we’re honest with ourselves, we might admit that we rarely learn from our mistakes. Because we might be a little stubborn or addicted to behaviors, beliefs, or emotions like anger, and we might never free ourselves from bad habits and misconceptions. It all comes down to our excuses. 

The idea of “no excuses” is simple. You either want to grow and improve your conditions, or you do not. You might want to expand your horizons or keep everything the way it is. If you want to truly change and advance your position in the world, it won’t be easy. It will not only require self-sacrifice and hard work, it will require you moving beyond your temporary self-identity and ego, and into a state of humility, honest, and wonder. If you’re too enthused with your identity and ego, you’ll continue to defend the notion that excuses are real. They are not. 

An excuse is a statement that we use to justify our inability to find pathways to improved conditions. It’s often contrived out of thin air and presented within ourselves in such a way that it brings us shame and lowers our electric vibration. When we have 4 or 5 excuses, we believe we have a legal, defensible case against ourselves and our potential. We then use our minds to take ourselves to spiritual court. Even with the best intentions and most innovative slights of hand, we’ll lose this battle every time. We are too smart for our own good. 

Here are a few reasons why your excuses are contrived fantasies that you’re using to defeat yourself and defend laziness:

1: You have skin, bones, a brain, a heart, and passion. With these elements, you can accomplish nearly anything. What most often happens is that we get distracted and depressed, and we refuse to shift our behaviors toward a more enlightening feeling or position. When you add our addictions to social media to the mix, you have a stew that can only breed mediocrity and complaints. 

2: Your ideas and passions are not that complicated. It’s not like your goal is to fly to a distant nebula on a magical, nuclear, cocktail napkin. Your desires are most likely based in reality, which gives you a fighting chance at bringing them to life. 

3: You have already tried sitting around, complaining, and building a case against yourself.

4: You already know which of the people in your life you no longer value. You’ve been keeping them around so you can feel validated. Its within this codependent model that we grow mental and emotional infections that can prevent us from ever evolving. 

5: You have made mistakes and you have created some unique, winning scenarios. Even with a predominance of failures, you still have enough data to thrust you forward with confidence. 

6: You’re sick of your attitude, so why not try something else?

Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, this life of yours is happening. It’s ON. It’s moving forward with or without you. Why not get over yourself, admit you’re blocked, and choose to change your daily routine so you can advance your life to the next level? Whether you’re in a wheelchair, convalescent home, army barracks, or depressing job, I would guess that all of your excuses are fabrications to justify your incorrect beliefs about yourself. 

Change your beliefs and you change your life. Go get em! Check out my Free Yourself Mini Audio Course for a taste of freedom from your excuses!

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

How To Set Boundaries for Self-Growth & Sometimes Say Goodbye

fence in sunset to convey setting boundaries - Paul Wagner

fence in sunset to convey setting boundaries - Paul Wagner

We’ve all been there—stuck in a relationship with someone who drives us nuts or seeks to harm us. You don’t know how to set boundaries with this person. We can’t seem to fathom a life without them, even though they impede our happiness. It’s a serious problem in the world today. 

With family constructs built upon foundations based on guilt and codependency, we all find it difficult to push back, draw the line, and break ties. But, haven’t you had enough? Aren’t you ready to reconstruct how to think about and enact these things? Do you want a change?

For those of us with big hearts and never-ending pools of energy, setting boundaries can be difficult. We might be in the midst of experiencing something deeply inspiring and truly wonderful, yet somehow we’ll allow an old flame, sibling, arch-nemesis, or our energy vampires to mess us up. It’s an old story: “Life was going along so well—until Ding-Dong came along and hurt me again!” 

It doesn’t have to be this way. You can make it your personal growth goal to set boundaries and move towards a happier and more peaceful way to live. 

What Does it Mean to Set Boundaries?

When you set boundaries, you’re defining what’s safe and acceptable for your life within a framework of your own values, goals and needs. Your boundaries might result in limiting your interactions with a specific person. In some cases, you might choose to  remove someone  from your life. Setting limits also helps you figure out how you’ll respond if someone crosses your boundaries. 

Some people think of boundaries as something reserved for family and friends, but they can extend to colleagues, bosses, partners, and even strangers. Your boundaries can also shift as your needs change, but you get to decide. No one else gets to dictate your boundaries or whether or not they’re important enough to honor.

Why Are Boundaries Important in Life?

When you go through life with unhealthy or shaky boundaries, you can lose yourself in the process. Instead of nurturing yourself and your values, you end up in dysfunctional or codependent relationships. Do you have trouble saying no or quickly compromising your values? Or maybe you avoid connecting with others on a deeper level altogether out of fear of rejection?

You deserve better. Setting clear, firm boundaries offers the confidence and protection you need to keep from being used or manipulated by others. They also help foster healthier relationships—especially the one with yourself.

Hands releasing birds into the air with sunlight around them - Paul Wagner

How To Set Boundaries With Confidence

If you’ve never set boundaries before, it’s important to approach the process with confidence. Here are some steps to help you work through the journey and deal with self-doubt or people who are resisting the changes you’re making in your life.

1) Make Notes About How You Feel Without This Person

When the other person is not around, write down how you feel now that you are separate from them. Your emotional guidance system can help you decide how you feel about this person and whether you want to keep the relationship. Continue to visualize and imagine other scenarios where they are not around and note how you feel. 

2) Make a List of People Who Enable This Relationship to Continue

There are always people in our lives who will enable harmful and toxic relationships to continue. List the tangential people who seem invested in both you and the other person involved. Perhaps these are people you have tried to set boundaries with before but have not listened to. Write down their names and what you believe they continue to receive from you having this relationship.

3) Make a List of How Your Life Would Change

What would your life look like if this harmful person weren’t in your life any longer? What would change? What would you do differently in your daily life? 

4) Consider the Types of People You Do Want In Your Life

Now that you have a better idea of what it would look like if you were free from this harmful person, who do you want in your life instead? Make a list of the types of people you would want to walk into your life. List their attributes and imagine what their personalities are like and how they might make you feel to be around them.

5) Write an Email, Letter, or Text to Set Boundaries with Someone

Write a clear list of your boundaries and what life will be like with these new boundaries with the person. Be firm and ask that they respect your request. If the person is dangerous, send a copy of the communication to your lawyer and best friend. 

6) Set a Time Limit for Follow-Up Communication

It’s important not to drag out the process and entertain back-and-forth communication. Instead, send the communication and move on. If they have follow-up questions, that’s okay, but set a 24-hour time limit, then hold firm. Once the time limit expires, move on.

7) Contact the People Invested in the Relationship

Write and send emails, letters or texts to and tell the people invested in your relationship with the harmful person about the new boundaries you’ve set up. Ask them to either support you in this endeavor or remain detached and out of your way. 

8) Remain Clear, Firm, and Positive

Stick to your plan. Release anyone from your life who is not supportive of this pursuit. They don’t deserve you and they might find other ways to trip you up in the future. 

Hands breaking free from handcuffs with universe and starlight around them - Paul Wagner

How To Say Goodbye To Someone (maybe forever)

It can be difficult to say goodbye to someone, especially if it could be forever. Here are some ways to stay firm and prioritize your needs.

Be very clear about how you feel about this person. Make sure that your decision to remove them from your life has come after a long series of events or over many years. 

Forget whether or not they deserve one more chance. They probably don’t and it’s time to let go. 

Notify the person. Write an email, letter, or text to this person outlining (as briefly as possible) why you need to move on without them. In your communication, share what you learned and what you still have not learned. If you can sincerely say “thank you” for something they gave you, do that with an open heart. Don’t gush; just state something positive. Send the communication and move on. If they have follow-up questions, that’s okay, but set a 72-hour time limit, then silence. 

Notify the people whom you both know in common. Ask that they respect your decision. If you need to cite a few reasons, that’s okay. Just don’t vomit all over the page when communicating with these people. Keep it simple and move on.

Honor how you feel, release your emotions, and pray for everyone involved. It’s difficult to make drastic changes to the relationships in our lives and trigger self-growth. As we get older, we realize that having 20 friends can be exhausting, but having 1, 2, or 3 best friends can be energizing and freeing. The reason you set boundaries is to create an environment that is energizing for you and those around you. When someone fails to meet those, on to the next.

It’s all about freeing yourself so that you can attract and choose positive experiences that bring you clarity, joy, love, and happiness. You can do this. Be clear, honor your feelings, and move on. It’s time.

Start Your Journey Toward Setting Healthy Boundaries

Remember that setting boundaries is about protecting yourself and it is not about offending the other person. While the other person might want to feel offended, it is their illusion to relish or release. With some practice, you can learn to set healthy boundaries from the start to avoid harmful and toxic situations while nurturing positive relationships. If you need support to understand the dynamics in your life and learn to confidently set boundaries, you can book an intuitive reading session with me HERE.

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Is Anger Your Enemy Or Your Friend?

The human mind is so complex, it’s a wonder that we can feel anything at all. When an event occurs in our life, it doesn’t pass through us, it lingers, sometimes for decades. When we experience challenges, we spend more time obsessing over how bad we feel, rather than creating a plan and acting upon that plan. When our relationships change, we carry the related emotional fodder for far too long. For some reason, we’re not adept at having an experience, freeing ourselves, and then moving on. The same can be said for our lingering feelings of anger.

First of all, it’s 100% okay to feel mad, even celebrate it. You might want to throw a party for your anger or use it to fuel the birth of a new business. Anger can be extremely inspiring, provoking, and transformative. It’s like carrying a forest fire in your pants. 

If you’re feeling anger, it’s your friend. If, because of your anger, you’re acting outrageously or putting others in danger, the anger is truly your enemy. Keep in mind that your anger didn’t ask to become the enemy. It just came up. Like a bubble in a can of soda, it emerged as real, moved upward, and then rested at the top for a moment. What you might not realize is that anger has an expiry date – if you permit it. 

If anger is bubbling up inside of you, see it as bubbles of nothingness. Consider this: The anger was born from a prior experience, and provoked into existence. Since the event that angered you is longer happening, why hold onto the emotion that stemmed from it? Even positive emotions can restrict us and enslave us to the past.

Your anger was useful for a time. It helped you make some decisions. It assisted you in the evolution of your ability to discern. Your anger was an ally – until it began interrupting your experiences around happiness, connectedness, and love. 

If your anger is still causing you to disconnect from your goodness and heart, you’re giving it too much power. You might need to venture into the woods and pound the earth for a time. You might need to do a ritual or religious ceremony where you call upon your higher Being to heal and help you. You might simply need to find the tears beneath your anger so that you can soften your heart and reconnect with all the goodness around you. 

Don’t let your anger manage you. Don’t allow it to maneuver you into being someone you are not. Don’t invest in it or plan to use it for too long. Let your anger have its day – and then set yourself free from it. You’ll be happier and more successful if focus on the positive aspects in your life. Doing so, your anger will naturally dismiss itself from your field of view. 

Remember to be grateful. You are alive on a planet filled with beautiful trees, flowers, rivers, lakes, and creatures. You have enough health to be able to function in this world and experience some of its joys. You can communicate with other living Beings. You most likely have a place to life and have food in your fridge. You were also born with an unlimited capacity to think, feel, and experience. You are a miracle. Never forget that. 

If you have yet to forgive someone or own your part in a series of difficult events, it might be time to forgive yourself and everyone involved. This will put your anger in service to your evolution.

Check out the Free Yourself Mini Audio Course to explore your anger in a healthy way!

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

7 Mindful Practices for Being in the Moment and Moving Forward In Life

Women meditating in silhouette of keyhole to convey mindful practices - Paul Wagner

Women meditating in silhouette of keyhole to convey mindful practices - Paul Wagner

Last updated: Aug. 15, 2025

It all sounds cliché: “Let’s free ourselves!” “Be Happy Now!” “There are no excuses – just do it!” It’s true, these ideas are now very popular. Almost everyone on the planet has heard these taglines from somewhere. They’re so popular that we’ve become immune to them. 

Too often we accept defeat before our prime and give up on ourselves. Taking action to embody these ideas about happiness, freedom and empowerment is challenging.

We’re so busy living in the past instead of the present moment, we haven’t space within our minds and hearts to imagine something miraculously positive for ourselves in the future. You can change all that with mindful practices!

How Do I Train Myself to Be Open-Minded?

Here’s the reality: You can free yourself from limiting beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and habits. You can be happy when you choose to be happy. 

It all depends on how much you are willing to release your current intentions, attitudes, and addictions – and to learn new ways. When I say addiction, I’m not referring to substances, which are also problematic. I’m referring to the chemicals that arise from specific self-negating thoughts and behaviors. Yes, we can and tend to be addicted to our own thoughts, emotions and behaviours. 

To open your mind and excel at being free, clear, and positive, there are many things we can do. Here is a list of seven mindful practices for daily life that many people have incorporated into their lives and saw success. Each one of them is powerful all by itself. If you can invite all seven of these things into your life as habits, you’ll be further along than 99% of Planet Earth. 

Let’s get to it with these mindful practices to learn how to live in the present moment!

image of woman breaking free of chains - Paul Wagner

1) Continually Forgive Yourself and Others to Create Emotional Freedom

Allow yourself to think lovingly of the people who have hurt you. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes, even huge ones. There is no other way to truly embody a new piece of knowledge. We must allow ourselves to make mistakes and forgive them. Acknowledge them, endeavor to do better next time, and move on! Everybody will adjust. 

2) Understand and Embrace Your Most Endearing and Empowering Attributes

If you cannot claim your gifts, beauty, and magic, who else will? Yes, our moms love us, but they love us because they want us to love ourselves. When we appreciate our best attributes, we love ourselves, we honor our births in this world, and we pay tribute to our mothers. Doing all this as part of our mindful practices, we reduce the barriers that prevent our futures from unfolding.

3) Stop Obsessing Over the Past and Practice Being in the Moment 

It does not exist, except in the dark corners of your mind. We love to think about the things that occurred in the past, even things that never happened. Truth be told, no matter what the memory is, our minds have already polluted it. After 5 years, most of our memories contain only 20-50% of the actual events. During those 5 years, our little brains conjure ideas to validate our contrived self-concepts. If our memories were stocks, they’d never produce any dividends. Let them go. Stop replaying the past in your mind. Be here, right now, in the present moment.

4) Celebrate the Small Victories Until Victory Is a Staple in Your Life

If we cannot get a solid handle on how wonderful you are, it’s vital that you create a plan and celebrate every small step. By doing this, you’ll get in the habit of appreciating yourself, which is required to move forward and free yourself. Make celebrating victories part of your mindful practices.

5) Meditate and Pray Often to Calm Your Mind and Move Forward in Life

By meditating, we release self-limiting thoughts and feelings. When we clear our minds and hearts of energy and activity, we create more space for ourselves to grow. Khalil Gibran said, “Out of the well our sorrows dig, flows joy.” Breathe in white light, exhale. Focus on your inhale and exhale. Do this for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night. It’s as simple as that.

6) Find Ways to Selflessly Serve Others with Zero Expectations

Whether it’s volunteering at a charity event, taking care of your aging family members, serving a local homeless shelter, or donating to a Native American community, giving works! It will help you get over yourself for a moment, and it can fill your heart with love and joy. Selfless service is the highest calling on Planet Earth.

7) Live in Gratitude and Watch Your Life Transform

Live in gratitude every minute of every day. Too many people complain about every little thing in their lives. From how their mail is placed in their mailboxes to bad customer service, too many people get caught up in the details rather than the gratitude. It’s petty and small-minded. When we consider the remarkable number of wonderful things and people in our lives, we release our negativity. When we release negativity and live in gratitude, you’ll open your mind and it’s remarkable what the Universe will bring to us. Celebrate small victories in life. Stay humble. Be grateful. Always!

Remember that millions of people have less than you. Millions. Remember that you are the embodiment of light. If you didn’t know it, let me tell you: you are made of stardust, and you are part of an ever-expanding Universe. Don’t play the small game. Play the big game. Get out of your own way, practice the 7 steps of mindful practices, and decide to free yourself from the past. It’s time to open your mind and grow!

Looking for more guidance in opening your mind? Book a private intuitive reading session

Q&A

Q1: What does it mean to live in the present moment?
It means letting go of past memories that cloud your mind and instead focusing fully on the here and now. As the article says, our memories are often distorted over time – being present frees us from outdated stories.

Q2: Why is forgiving yourself and others important?
Continual forgiveness allows you to make mistakes, learn, and move forward without guilt. It also opens your heart to new experiences and relationships.

Q3: How does meditation help clear negative thoughts?
Meditation creates space in your mind by releasing self-limiting thoughts and feelings, which allows joy to flow in, as Khalil Gibran beautifully pointed out.

Q4: What’s one small way to build confidence daily?
Celebrate even tiny victories. Recognizing small successes trains your mind to appreciate yourself, making larger goals feel possible.

Q5: How can gratitude change your life?
Living in gratitude every day shifts focus away from petty complaints and opens your mind to abundance, attracting more positivity from the Universe.



About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

The Free Yourself Mini Audio Course





ARE YOU READY FOR A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE?

You’ll LOVE The Free Yourself Mini Audio Course

Are you feeling like you need a little jump-start? Are you ready for a simple sojourn into your core nature so that you can feel strong again? Need some love & encouragement?

You’ll love this easy audio course: The Free Yourself Mini Audio Course

Lesson 1: Who Are You?

Lesson 2: Forgive Everything

Lesson 3: Authentic Living

Lesson 4: Responsibilities & Desires

Lesson 5: Selfish Self-Care

Lesson 6: Your Operational Life-Plan

Lesson 7: Love & Honor Key Relationships

Lesson 8: Spiritual Masters, Manifestation & More

Ebook: How To Live An Exuberant Life

Worksheet: Affirmations, Mantras, And More!

 

GET THE FREE YOURSELF MINI AUDIO COURSE NOW

 

My hope is that this free course will bring you light and clarity in your life. I made these with love I pray they truly serve you.  If you’re ready for a more serious course – a super-spiritual jump-start, check out THE FULL, AMAZING FREE YOURSELF VIDEO COURSE: HERE.

 


TIPS FOR LIVING A FULFILLING LIFE

 

Rituals & Declarations can inspire rebirth and give you momentum.

Paul’s Courses are empowering and enlightening.

You’ll love THE PERSONALITY CARDS – a new tarot for liberation.

You are the embodiment of LOVE & LIGHT!

Forgive everything, learn how to say goodbye and set boundaries, stand strong in the face of challenges, and remain drenched in gratitude!

About The Author:

image

Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Forensic Forgiveness: Digging Deep To Find Freedom

Forgiving: A woman breaking free from her chains through forgiveness
There is profound power in forgiveness. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

 

Forgiveness is the most powerful action you can take in your life. If you focused on forgiving yourself and others for a period of 3 months, you would reduce a long list of harmful things in your life, including:

  • Anger
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Sickness
  • Self-neglect
  • Self-loathing
  • Procrastination

Many religions speak of forgiveness, which is wonderful. While many church and temple leaders provoke the egos of their followers, hoping to insight contrived singularity, hatred, and division, we’re lucky that some spiritual places still teach peace, love, connectedness, and forgiveness. 

There are three kinds of forgiveness: 

  1. Rehearsed: Rehearsed forgiveness is something we do when we feel obligated to forgive ourselves or another person. Religions are good at teaching us rehearsed forgiveness.
  2. Intellectual: We contrive a state of mind that imagines forgiveness. We construct behaviors and ideas related to forgiveness. We can live this way for years and years, without ever getting to the heart of the matter.
  3. Fully-Embodied: This involves a deep commitment to yourself – and deep emotional and spiritual work. It takes focus, prayer, meditation, positivity, and vulnerability. Without each of these aspects, fully-embodied forensic forgiveness cannot occur. 

The deeper we go, the more expanded we become. In my forensic forgiveness process, I instruct people to sit quietly with the thoughts of who we need to forgive. Follow these steps:

1: Imagine this person or group. See them fully in your mind’s eye. 

2: If possible, even in the midst of all of your anger or sadness, find some love for them. Even a tiny sprinkle will do. 

3: Focus on one person for a while. Imagine how they hurt you. Allow the imagery to come to mind. 

4: Grieve each image that you see and feel. 

5: Allow other images to emerge, including images that are tangential to your experience with this person. 

6: Grieve each one of these images as well. The more imagery you can feel-through, the more expanded you become. You must release these emotions. You must connect with what was so horrible so that you can now decide to let it all go – and never look back. 

7: Repeat this out loud, as if speaking to the person who harmed you: I am love. You are love. I am sorry. I believe on some level that you are sorry. I forgive myself. Truly, I forgive myself. I forgive you. Please allow me to forgive you. Self, please allow me to forgive this person. I forgive you. I love you. It is done. 

8: Please understand that this person is you. Because he or she is truly you. There is no other in this world. There is no separation between other living Beings. Like vines on a tree, we are a collective consciousness. Forgive yourself, forgive others, and you’ll forgive all of the future experiences that have the same attributes as the situation you’ve been focusing on here.

9: Admit that somehow you invited this person into your life. Somehow you attracted this aspect of the Universe. Take responsibility for it. Don’t play the victim – that’s a game that nobody wins. Forget the lawsuit, forget the revenge. Just accept the lesson, make a list of what you learned, make a list of what you still need to learn, promise you won’t do this again. Then move on with your life. 

Two of the bigger pieces of forensic forgiveness include: setting boundaries and letting go. When we forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that we have to forget everything about them. We might even choose to limit our exposure to them. In some cases, even with family, we might choose to completely release them from our lives. Letting go requires that we release our attachments to what happened. If we set our boundaries and limits correctly, we can protect and preserve this “letting go.” If we’re not careful, we can unwind the deep work that we’ve done. Always protect yourself after forgiving someone. 

Remember, too, that your primary relationship is with the Universe, not others. When you decide to let go of someone, the Universe will support you. Forgive yourself, forgive others, set boundaries, release all of it. 

Looking for more? Free yourself with the Free Yourself Audio Course!

 

About The Author:

image

Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Mastering the Art of Processing Your Emotions

Image of woman meditating with chakras illuminated - Paul Wagner

Image of woman meditating with chakras illuminated - Paul Wagner

Do you ever feel like your emotions have a mind of their own? One moment, you’re riding a wave of joy, and the next moment you’re drowning in anxiety or frustration. Emotions can feel unpredictable, overwhelming, and at times, downright exhausting! 

But what if I told you that emotions are actually powerful bundles of energy which shape your entire reality? If you want to learn how to release and process your emotions to empower yourself and transform your life, read on!

Emotions Are More Than Just Feelings – They’re Energy

Emotions aren’t just fleeting feelings – they are bundles of energy in motion. We can think of these as tiny energy beings which influence and shape our reality.

We experience an emotion when a charged thought enters our mind. This can be something positive, like feeling happy while thinking about a close friend we saw last week. 

Other thoughts are more towards the negative end of the spectrum, such as the shame we feel when remembering an embarrassing moment (ya know, like that time you suggested peanut butter during foreplay. Whoops!)

Processing Negative Emotions vs. Cultivating Positive Ones

Positive emotions like love elevate your life and relationships, and can even boost your immune system. In short, positive emotions can help keep you healthy. When you feel aligned and at peace, your body responds with increased energy and balance.

Negative emotions, on the other hand, drain you of focus, energy, light, and health. Hate, blame, denial, anxiety, depression, and fear are just a few of the less desirable emotions that you may experience over your lifetime.

If you hold on to grudges, suffer from anxiety, or tend to obsess over prior traumas, you can’t process or release anything. Chances are you’ve already experienced the consequences in the form of fatigue, foggy brain function, or seemingly ubiquitous bad luck. 

If you fill your life with more positive emotions like forgiveness, acceptance, gratitude, and joy, you might find that your experiences are quite the opposite. The stats point to feeling healthier and more active – and you’ll probably enjoy a sprinkle (or waterfall) of “lucky” coincidences!

Don’t underestimate the power of your emotions!

image of two hearts to convey the power of emotions - Paul Wagner

The Power of Our Emotions

It doesn’t take much energy to create emotions. Emotional responses arise effortlessly as thoughts and ideas move through our minds, hearts, and bodies. Over time, they are filtered through our perceptions, beliefs, and past experiences. 

However, although these emotions may start out as tiny energy beings, energies of the same frequency all come together to form one collective energy being that can be intensely powerful – sometimes volatile!

The energy of your emotions is so strong that it not only affects you, but can even influence those around you. I’m sure you’ve experienced this (even if you didn’t realize it at the time).

Have you ever walked into a room and immediately felt tension hanging in the air? Or caught a wave of excitement from a buzzing crowd at a concert? Our emotions shift the atmosphere around us. 

Think about these examples:

  • The hushed, weighty silence in a packed stadium when a professional sports player gets hurt mid-play.
  • The infectious laughter of a baby that has everyone giggling along.
  • The collective buzz of excitement in a movie theater just when a film reaches its climax.

Emotions are that powerful.

The Hidden Link Between Electromagnetism and Emotions

So, what does this have to do with electromagnetism? Well, everything.

Every emotion carries an electrical charge. As these electrically charged particles interact, they create an electromagnetic force. The magnetism of this force causes atoms to come together, which forms our physical realities. 

Without electromagnetism, nothing would come together. To put it simply, we would not and could not exist without electromagnetism.

Thus, every emotion you experience has the power to shape your reality. They emit their own electromagnetic discharges as they continue to move around and live within you.

The energy emitted can and will impact your overall vibrational frequency. Love, peace, and gratitude radiate at a higher frequency, while emotions like anger and fear vibrate at lower frequencies.

Over time, the emotions you hold onto shape your mind, body, and reality.

So, are you forced to just suffer and endure, unable to change your trajectory because of past events?

The answer is an emphatic NO!

While it can be difficult to control our emotions, especially in cases of high stress or trauma, you are not at their mercy. You have the power to shift them.

So, how do you process difficult emotions and use them to fuel your best life? Keep reading, because you’re about to find out!

Practical Ways to Process Your Emotions

The good news is that your nature, soul, and body are all made up of energy – just like our emotions. This means that our vibrations and intentions rule our realities, giving us the power to make improvements based on intentional action.

After all, each of us is composed of light and sound. 

You can move, dissolve, improve, integrate, or awaken electromagnetic discharges and emotions so that they continue to work more in your favor:

Mindful Processing (A.K.A. Stop Fighting Your Emotions)

  • Stop judging your emotions. Let yourself feel them, even when they hurt. Try to love them like little friends showing up to teach you something. Your emotions are your roommates! LOVE THEM.
  • Acknowledge and accept them. Choose the higher perspectives in every situation and your emotions will follow your lead. Never dismiss negative emotions without first accepting and understanding them. 
  • Take note of how much energy an emotion requires to sustain. Some emotions energize you, while others linger and drain you. Becoming aware of their energy is the first step in changing your relationship with them.

Physical Release (A.K.A. Get That Energy Moving)

  • Safely express negative emotions to minimize their internal effects on you. Vent, cry, journal, do a healing ritual, or take a walk. 
  • Practice constructive anger releasing. It’s also okay to punch the earth and scream – or throw a lamp against the wall (as long as you don’t hurt anybody, including yourself!)
  • Move your body. Dance, run, shake it out. Emotions are stored in the body, and movement helps release them.
  • Try somatic release techniques. Somatic experiencing helps you process emotions through physical sensations, rather than just mentally analyzing them. 

Spiritual Practices (A.K.A. Tune into Your Higher Self)

  • Be your authentic self. Open yourself to a pure encounter with your core self – your nature – your divinely inspired spirit.
  • Meditate, pray, and forgive. This includes forgiving others AND forgiving yourself.
  • Meditate, pray, forgive others, forgive yourself, and 
  • When you feel something good, SHARE IT. Let it expand in your heart, radiate outward, and provide healing light for not just your entire Being, but others too!
  • Do spiritual practices and rituals to uplevel your vibrations 

Remember, emotions are energy in motion. Let them move through you, not control you.

Should You Fear Negative Energy Around You?

The short answer is meh, not really

While there are all kinds of energies in the world, the one affecting you the most is likely your own. If you feel oppressed by negative energy, it’s probably emanating from you, not someone or something else. 

This realization should be taken with optimism because that means you’re in control. You can take control of your actions and monitor your responses. 

Take active steps to get rid of negative energy. A walk in the woods or a park stroll, daily meditation, and incorporating essential oils into your regime are all great ways to reduce stress and raise your vibration. Consider praying for your enemies as well, as hard as that may be!

While there are negative spirits and energies in this world, the likelihood of being hurt by them is highly unlikely. If you do truly feel you have this issue, you can take a deeper dive into energy clearing and spiritual protection in an intuitive reading with me. 

Book a live intuitive reading with Paul Wagner

How Your Relationships Can Help You Process Negative Emotions

Emotions don’t exist in a vacuum – they’re deeply tied to our relationships. As I mentioned before, energy is contagious, so you can bet that the emotions we carry affect not just us, but everyone around us. And vice versa. 

This means that processing emotions in relationships can be one of the most powerful forms of healing.

When a Conversation Can Heal

Sometimes, it’s as simple as having a conversation.

If you’re feeling tension with someone, start by talking it out, without blame, without assumptions, just honesty. When you express emotions in a way that inspires compassion rather than defensiveness, you open a pathway to real healing.

When It’s Time to Let Go

Then there are the relationships that can’t be fixed with conversations or empathy. Some people’s M.O. is to oppress, control, invalidate or guilt you. When a toxic person in your life takes things a step too far, you need to release them

Cutting ties may hurt like hell at first, but trust me, your energy is worth protecting.

You’ll ultimately feel better when you surround yourself with authentic individuals who support, uplift, and genuinely give a shit about you. When your circle of friends is vibrant and full of light, you will be, too!

However, it’s also important to:

Release Trapped Emotions Through Radical Forgiveness

If someone does you wrong, forgive them! As a matter of fact, forgive the fuck out of EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE! (Including yourself, as I mentioned earlier).

Why? Because forgiveness isn’t about them, it’s about you. Holding onto resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. The emotions that result from forgiveness will yield wisdom, clarity, and the kind of peace that no one can take away from you.

Final Thoughts: You Have More Power Than You Think

When you understand that emotions are forces you can work with rather than be controlled by, everything changes.

Some emotions will come and go with ease. Others will cling to you, demanding to be felt, understood, or released. The key isn’t to suppress them or let them run your life; it’s to learn how to move through them, process them, and use them as tools for growth.

Like attracts like, so if you’re emitting higher vibrations, you’ll attract high vibrations!

Did I mention Gratitude and Forgiveness? Oh yeah, I did. Good! Do that!

And if you ever feel stuck – you don’t have to do it alone.

If you’re ready to break through emotional blocks, release what’s been weighing you down, and step into a more aligned, empowered version of yourself, I’d love to help. Book an intuitive reading session with me today, and let’s do the deep work of processing your emotions together.

Remember that you are the embodiment of light and love. Your energy is yours to shape. So own it and live according to your highest potential!

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.

Highly Sensitive People: The Gifts, Challenges, And Miracles

Hand holding a flower and paper that says Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) - Paul Wagner
“Highly Sensitive Person” Written on Paper with Hand Holding a Delicate Flower. Shutterstock licensed image.

HSP: The Gifts, Challenges, and Miracles

A certain group of people is more vulnerable than others to feeling abnormal, setting them up for a lifetime of discomfort with themselves, and they’re called HSP. Do you often find yourself more in tune with others’ feelings or reacting more to certain events than those around you? Do specific environments, emotions, or situations bother you while others are unphased? 

It’s time to get in tune with your true self by learning what it means to be a highly sensitive person (HSP) and give yourself the care you need. While it might feel like a burden now, knowing more about yourself and altering your lifestyle to better suit your personality will help you take back control of your life and turn your quirks into assets!

What is a Highly Sensitive Person?

An HSP, also known as a highly sensitive person, has a highly active nervous system and sensory sensitivities. Studies are being done to show that highly sensitive people actually have brains that work a bit differently than others, causing them to react differently in their daily lives and relationships.

While this might sound abnormal and concerning, HSP is not a disorder. In fact, around 15-20% of people report that they experience these symptoms, making it a lot more common than you might think! At the same time, not enough people experience these symptoms for the personality to be widely accepted. Unfortunately, that can make highly sensitive people feel lonely and misunderstood.

What’s really unique about the HSP personality trait is that it can be found in all kinds of personality types. You could also be called an empath. You can be an HSP and an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert. HSPs also come from all different backgrounds. Depending on the culture an HSP lives within, they might be lovingly accepted or ostracized.

How Do I Know if I’m a Highly Sensitive Person?

You deserve to get to know yourself and be comfortable with who you are! If you’ve ended up reading this article, it’s very likely you have the traits of a highly sensitive person. In order to be sure, there are a few questions you can ask yourself to see if you’re a highly sensitive person.

HSP traits can manifest in several different ways. Some people are highly sensitive to environments with too many stimuli, such as loud noises, bright lights, and even distinct textures like on clothing. You might feel like you need to retreat into a dark, quiet place to recharge and prepare for your next outing.

Other HSPs are more reactive to emotional stimuli such as with friends, family, and romantic partners. A small spat might feel like a life-changing argument, and a light show of affection can feel like a profound moment in a loving relationship. Unfortunately, this also could mean that you might experience deep thoughts and emotions without receiving sufficient reciprocation.

Further, you might feel the need to avoid intense movies, art, books, and other experiences that overwhelm you. The feelings you get from being overwhelmed could be unsettling and anxiety-inducing, or you could feel deeply moved by beauty and experience a form of ecstasy. 

If you’re still unsure about whether you’re a highly sensitive person, there are tests you can take. Specifically, there’s a questionnaire by Elaine N. Aron written in 1996 that has 27 questions. If you say yes to at 14 of the questions, then there’s a high probability of being an HSP. Remember, though, that questionnaires like these are highly subjective, and you should never make changes to your life because of them without further consulting with health care professionals.

Is Being Highly Sensitive a Bad Thing?

Remember, everyone is unique! Everyone has their own personality with their different quirks and needs, and that never means you’re a bad person or need to change who you truly are. Having HSP traits can feel burdensome before you’ve recognized them and learned how to embrace them, but being an HSP is like a superpower!

Challenges for HSPS

If someone calls you “sensitive,” it is often meant negatively. It can hurt to hear that we “overreact” or “think too much” because it invalidates our emotions and experiences. People with HSP traits suffer these insults and invalidations more often than others because of their visceral reactions to life. 

It’s true – HSPs experience life, emotions, and thoughts on a much deeper level. What feels good to some will feel great to you, but what feels bad to others can absolutely devastate you. Pain, whether emotional or physical, is experienced much more by HSPs, and recovery time can be much longer.

As a result, many HSPs choose to take a back seat in life to avoid pain and disappointment. It might feel too much to handle when people or life obstacles let you down. HSPs can often pass up opportunities for growth and enjoyment because they’d rather avoid overstimulation, exhaustion, and potential pain.

Benefits of Being an HSP

Highly sensitive people have strong gut feelings and are incredibly intuitive. Having a sensitive nervous system means that you pick up on stimuli that most people can’t, and you have stellar observation skills. You won’t only be able to pick up on changes in your environment but also sense the needs of others with fantastic accuracy and foresight.

HSPs can enjoy intense and powerful relationships with others because of their ability to empathize, anticipate needs, and feel emotions deeply. For the same reasons, they make stellar parents.

Being able to pick up on stimuli and experience on an advanced level means you can also enjoy life so much more. Fine food, drinks, art, and experiences can be enjoyed on a whole new level. Responding to a heightened ability to enjoy stimuli with a positive attitude means being extremely grateful for life and all you have. 

Self Care for Highly Sensitive People

Overall, you should rejoice if you are a highly sensitive person! The people you should keep in your life are those who appreciate how deeply you understand and care for them. In exchange, they should understand your need for space and cooldown periods when things get too intense. 

Here are some great methods that HSPs can introduce to their daily lives in order to find balance, peace, and growth:

  • Schedule in positive experiences into your hectic days
  • Plan for alone time and relaxation periods after anticipated times of overwhelm
  • Suggest alternatives to experiences that you aren’t comfortable with – need no to push yourself
  • Come to understand your personal boundaries for environments, people, and tasks and be clear about your triggers
  • Create a soothing space you can use as a retreat when you’re overstimulated
  • Incorporate meditation, yoga, prayer, and other practices that allow you to center your body and mind to find balance

Proper self-care for HSPs will be a journey in which they must come to know themselves fully and incorporate helpful practices for keeping the peace in their bodies, minds, and hearts.

Embrace Your Sensitivity

If you ever become upset over your state as a highly sensitive person, remember that you aren’t alone. Some of the most innovative and vital people were HSPs and will go down in history as assets to humanity. Scientists like Albert Einstein, actors like Nicole Kidman, and social reformers like Martin Luther King Jr. are also HSPs who made the most of their sensitivity superpowers!

You are extremely intuitive, empathetic, expressive, and compassionate, and all your friends and family are lucky to have you in their lives. You’re on the path to seeing and doing great things; you just need to harness the power of your ultra-sensitive nervous system and unique mind!

REMEMBER!

You are a beautiful Living Being filled with light and love, born from stardust. You are unlimited potential in every direction. With a focus on discipline, virtue, and your own goodness, you can become as expanded and liberated as you desire. 

Pray for others and the Universe prays for us. 

 

About The Author:

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Paul is a spiritual healer and coach with more than 30 years of experience. He is the founder of The Shankara Experience, and creator of The Shankara Oracle and The Personality Cards.

His work is focused on guiding seekers to inner freedom and awakening.