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How to Disentangle from Karmic Relationships

Karmic relationships

Karmic relationships can be transformed. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

We’ve all had at least one relationship that’s threatened our personal power. We may have become so entrenched, we could no longer speak-up or stand-up for ourselves. Sadly, when this friend, lover or family member invited us into their wacky world, we went willingly—and we stayed. Unaware, we left ourselves unprotected and were subject to a twisted reality, which we began to perpetuate and co-create.

When I say “intense,” I’m referring to the self-centered, dramatic people in our lives who expect us to give to them in ways they don’t even give to themselves.

It might appear that the other person is playing a game with our hearts, disabling our abilities to see ourselves and the relationships clearly.

Karmic Relationships: Who am I talking about?

The most problematic people are the ones who regularly chip away at our truth, time, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. Instead of lovingly lifting us up, they hold our heads slightly beneath the water’s surface so we can’t speak or breathe. This hurtful treatment further compounds the dynamic, as well as our misery. This is one of the craziest and karmic relationship.

Human beings have been naturally attracted to egoistic spectacles for centuries. We’ve loved melodrama in our celebrities and long-enabled it in our families. We’ve actively sought it out in friendships, romance and business. We have been eternally attracted to relationships with kooky, intense people.

Fortunately, we can kick them out at any time.

Sensational melodrama can be fun for a while, as it often invites fascinating experiences. While it usually requires that we endure discomfort and disruption, madness usually comes with gifts and surprises too, like 5-star adventures, refreshing spontaneity and hourly oral sex.

How do we put a stop to something

that sometimes balances out to awesome?

More importantly, why would we want to?

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Although mania has value, the problems begin when mania is at the helm. During those times, we don’t realize how much we’re neglecting the other parts of our souls and lives. As we gaze at the world wearing kooky-colored glasses, we have limited awareness of how f*cked up the rest of our commitments and relationships have become.

Craziness and melodrama are drugs akin to sugar, cocaine, and greed. They’re addictive and dangerous. We might think we’re enjoying a relationship with a phenomenon, but just like any activity that subverts our value, copulating with Ms. Kooky or Mr. Crazy is nothing but self-sacrificial.

Our introduction to egocentricity often comes from our siblings, parents, and family circumstances. Unknowingly, we recreate situations related to our upbringing. That said, even though we’re born into madness, it doesn’t mean we have to stay there.

It’s okay to have a little crazy-intelligence in the house, but if the dynamics continually create roller-coasters, it might be time to ask, “What the f*ck am I doing here?” and “What am I getting out of this?”

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When crazy-intelligence is healthy, it pushes us to think outside the box, inspires us to plan wonderful events, and helps us conjure mind-blowing ideas. When crazy-intelligence is our friend, it builds bridges, enhances our lives, and improves our self-worth. But if untenable craziness dominates, it’s nothing more than a beautifully-decorated weapon that we empower to bring us down.

Weaning off of melodrama can be a nightmare. It requires being honest about what we want and what truly makes us happy. It requires a great deal of self-reflection and letting go.

The process of absolving ourselves from someone else’s egocentricity and melodrama will bring up anger, sadness, guilt, and shame. It can get really messy in such a karmic relationship. If we’re successful, it’ll inspire tough-mindedness, the ability to confront others, and the desire to continue making and sticking to proactive changes in our lives. If we’re not successful, we’ll compound our challenges and put ourselves at further risk.

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When we’ve enrolled ourselves in someone else’s chaos,

we lose touch with what brings us peace.

In the midst of mayhem,

we forget how to nurture our hearts

and defend our life-vision.

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If you’ve been eating at the kooky, karma table and desire a rebirth from Karmic Relationships, follow this plan:

  1. Make note of the things you’ve learned from all the drama: the good, the bad, and the super f*cked-up. Celebrate the lessons and be grateful.

  2. Make a list of the wonderful things and people in your life, then fill your schedule with them.

  3. Before you add something new to your life, ask yourself, “Will this person or event enhance my happiness, awareness, and life-conditions, or will he or she detract from them?”

  4. Say goodbye to the egocentricity and imbalance, either in-person, phone, text, or via a loving friend who’s willing to take a bullet for you. It can be a sentence, book, video, or one-person play. Just get ‘er done.

  5. Never look back. Ever.

If we can enjoy the unpredictable drama in our lives and then use it for our evolution, maybe we’ve mastered it. For the rest of us, saying goodbye to Ms. Kooky or Mr. Crazy is the moment when our lives begin.

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Give Yourself Permission to Say Goodbye to Family

permit yourself to say goodbye to family

Birth-families are not always awesome. A Shutterstock. Licensed Image.

We don’t have to remain latched to every kid, sibling, or cousin across three generations just because we married a lineage, or share blood and a last name. It’s okay to gently, swiftly say goodbye. We might even be doing them a favor.

It’s a fallacy, an ancient mythic lie that our birth and constructed families are permanent fixtures in our lives. They are not permanent and they are not always required. It’s our choices that enable a person or family to hurt, oppress, and control us. Allowing these limitations of culture to impress upon us to stay with family through thick and thin make codependency a serious issue.

Families are temporary constructs from which we derive temporary meaning for our lives. If the meanings change, dissolve or contravene, either through our evolution or a shift in another person’s perspective, we are called to rethink, possibly redesign our commitments. While this is not a call to be reckless, it’s important to understand that every person has options.

Birthdays, New Years, and holidays usher in profound times of reevaluation, self-reflection and tribal-assessment. When we first start to explore our needs for independence from our families, we might choose to refrain from heading home for the holidays. Doing so, we might feel guilty or conflicted, or we might have the best frickin’ holiday of our lives.

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Our childhood experiences and habits around holidays are not indelible. We can remake anything at any time through a shift in perspective and behavior. Playing the old movies in our minds, we realize what we don’t want in our lives. Stepping away from the past, we realize we have unlimited potential in any direction.

If we’re paying attention during family visits, the moment we pull into our sibling’s or mother’s (or even our own) driveway, we begin to feel the stress around the family behaviors we no longer desire or wish to tolerate. We start to feel our former-self bubble up, chock-full of old responses, and ancient reactions. For many people, holidays are times of healing and renewal. For the rest of us, enforced family gatherings are head-f*cks.

The true definition of a birth family: a small group of people forced to deal with each other while fighting for limited resources. These birth, childhood, and adoptive groups are vital to our growth and self-discovery, but many of them have expiration dates. While these families might serve a huge purpose in our early years, they can become void of intrinsic value as we age. They can also become toxic.

 

This is not to say that all families are bad or that we should strive to let them go. On the contrary, if you’ve been born into a tolerable group of fair-minded people who respect you, then cling to these people with all your heart! If you’re a Mormon, you might be so enthused with your family that you’ve sealed yourself to them for eternity. Whatever moistens your loins. Go for it!

For many of us though, our families, and sometimes our marriages, are odd assemblages of twisted personalities that were never able to agree-upon an all-inclusive system of communication, behavior, and rituals.

There may have been abuse or neglect in the original contracts within your childhood home. It might be that your voice was never truly welcome in your family. You may be a successful person in the world, but when you return home to the old patterns, you’re thrust into the corner with a mouthguard and dunce cap.

You might need to dig deep and grieve some of the toxic imagery rolling around in your mind and heart. You might be so overwhelmed with emotions stemming from childhood that it’s become impossible to speak with members of your family.

Every one of us has family fascia clinging to our souls, so remember that you’re in good company. Seek clarity. While everyone else will want to cram you into their little boxes, allow yourself to expand, make YOU the priority, and love yourself.

 

It might be that we hate our families and refuse to forgive them. We may have forgiven them, but we refuse to forget. We might love them, but don’t want to be near them any longer. It might be that you’re still playing the role of victim, and being around your family is akin to pouring salt in your wounds.

Each situation is unique and cannot be judged from the perspectives of traditional or religious family values. Human beings are far more complex than that and there are many paths that lead to liberation.

If you find yourself nodding your head as you read all this, accept the fact that your situation is your own and you do not need anybody’s approval to make changes in your life. Regardless of how many family relationships you decide to exit, understand that those who truly wish to be in your company will seek you out with a full heart, complete respect, unlimited kindness, and compassionate understanding.

Pushing hard to break from family might not bring about the most lasting changes. Before applying the pruning sheers to your family tree, come to terms with your mistakes, then forgive them. Come to terms with other people’s mistakes, then forgive them. Be accepting of the way things are. Find peace before you make major breaks.

When making big decisions around relationships and family bondage, shut out the old family voices, quiet the sibling rants, silence the “traditional society” and religious bullshit. Listen to your voice. It’s the only one that counts.

Our paths are mutually exclusive. Yours might require extended periods of solitude. It might be that you need a break from family or tradition. Heck, you might just want to skip one holiday meal in favor of drinking your face off at the local bar. You get to choose because it’s your life. Don’t get tripped up by guilt and shame. Those things barely exist.

Even the Buddha skipped town on his wife and kid.

He turned out okay, right?

Whatever changes are on your horizon, seek the ones that bring you peace. Seek traditions, new or old, that bring you joy.

Our primary contract is not with our families, it’s with the Universe.

Infuse that contract with as much joy as possible. With or without family, it’s your life. Enjoy it!

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Like Germans Who Funded The Holocaust, Silent Catholics Are Complicit In The Sins of Their Church

Photo From Wikipedia. We LOVE Wikipedia!

If you’re a Catholic who has consistently and vehemently held your ancient church and its leadership to the fires of morality and virtue, you are truly extraordinary! Thank you, but this article isn’t meant for you. This punchy pile of prose is aimed at your spineless Catholic brothers and sisters, the ones who sheepishly hid in their pews, lost sense of their humanity, and protected pedophiles with their misplaced reverence and silence.

“When Jesus said, ‘Suffer the little children, come unto me,’ that’s not what he was talking about!”

~ George Carlin

When you examine the Catholic hierarchy and its sheep-like followers, you see dim reflections of Nazi Germany, a country that funded and supported the killing of over 6 million people. With the luscious lingo found in their outdated religious texts (rewritten and retranslated hundreds of times), Catholics (and most Christians) pray, eat paper bread, and pretend to give a flying-toot about love, humanity, and justice. Mostly, Catholics strive to feel good about themselves and their church. They believe that their religion and the bible comprise the sole, undeniable truth.

Funded by the sale of billions of dollars in Vatican real estate, and fueled by denial, and the inability to critique their own ideologies, Catholics enabled thousands of priests to rape tens of thousands of children, some as young as 3. While this has been going on for centuries, it’s the past 75+ years that have been the focus.

“Becoming awake involves seeing our confusion more clearly.”

~ Rumi

How did Catholic church-goers consciously support and then continue to fund all of these rapes? Denial, compliance and weekly attendance. No matter how many rapes or how convincing the evidence, Catholics continued to love and support their church through tithing, bake sales, and paying exorbitant tuition at high-priced Catholic institutions.

With their stunning silence and warped sense of the Divine, Catholic parishioners stifled what could have been a revolution to overcome how religions use greed, dishonesty, and secrecy to abuse and control the masses. Instead, they continue to behave like the unconscious members of any cult or political party.

Similarly, the Nazis were funded by their county’s patriots, and eventually by the countries and banks they commandeered, all of which enabled their regime to round-up millions of Jews, Gypsies and “sexual deviants,” in order to systematically kill them. At the time of these killings, over one-third of Germany was Catholic, and almost all of Germany was Christian. Let that sink-in a minute.

Catholicism and Christianity are distant cousins at best, and neither solely promotes the teachings of Jesus. Both were contrived and then evolved as composites of political movements, social networks, and financial organizations.

Neither Catholicism nor Christianity are based solely on enduring spiritual principles, like love or compassion. And while it’s more complex than that, these old religions have lost their abilities to scrutinize their outdated ideologies and practices, including those perpetrated by the many criminals and dark thinkers within their ranks.

Mostly, these religions are aimed at amassing followers, and then enrolling, misguiding, and controlling them. To align with either of them is to deny the profound, loving, and eternal nature of our divine universe. Why relegate yourself to a something so limited?

If you’re still a Catholic or Christian, consider the depth of the hypocrisy and misinformation within your religion’s books and halls, rethink your blind allegiance, and grow. As the rapes continued, Pope Benedict was devious and avoidant, and his followers were silent.

“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.”

~ George Carlin

Pedophile Priests in the Catholic Church And Their Victims

When a child is raped, it’s very different from a woman or man being raped. Men and women often have a collection of psychological constructs and healthy paradigms that can save them from at least a measure of anger, hatred, confusion, feelings of abandonment, suicide, personality disorders, and similar problematic conditions and circumstances. They can reach out, verbalize their traumas, and learn how to receive love and guidance. Not in all cases, but adults who have been raped stand a much better chance at healing, when compared to children who have been raped.

Children do not have strong foundations, fully-developed personalities, or innate psychological fortresses to save them from anguish and self-hatred that often results from being abused, manipulated, or raped. All they have are suggestions, most of which, they cannot fully fathom, integrate, or comprehend. Children are sponges and most cannot fully recover from rape. They can only learn to put it within a healthier framework, which most often happens more than 30 years following their traumatizing experiences.

When Jewish families were executed, all of their future generations were stained, pained and burdened. Akin to slavery, you cannot pray-away that kind of trauma. When children are raped, they silently internalize it, which forms several unique constructs within their personalities and self-identities. These identity-constructs eventually emerge in the DNA of every one of their relationships and offspring, which can grow within their ancestries for generations.

A little rape of a little person is not a little thing.

Everyone who has been raped carries a dark, open, porous wound, and childhood rapes burrow much deeper. Everything they do and become will be tainted by their rapes. Yes, a raped child can emerge as a conscious, kind, aware and liberated adult, but that journey is incredibly painful, and can drive the individual to the brink of insanity.

While being faithful and devotional are lovely attributes, blind faith tends to disregard truth, alienate victims and those less fortunate, and enable forms of abuse. Hasn’t Catholicism progressed far beyond its tipping point?

Catholics and their Christian counterparts, like all people who allow themselves to be brainwashed, have tended to be defensive and cowardly when it comes to this topic. The vast majority of them remained silent for more than 30 years after the truth about the raping clergy emerged. They are still complacent. They are still silent.

Compared to the Nazi German citizens who were mostly horrified after the Allies publicized the horrors of concentration camps, Catholics have been protective of their church, rather than protectors of children, and warriors of justice. They might say the right things, but they still support and love a church that has had abuse and secrecy embedded in its foundation for centuries. It will never truly change.

Even though many Catholics are aware of the Vatican’s dark strategy, they are still devout to their Pope. While he appears to be cuddly, warm and fuzzy, he’s similar to any political leader during times of darkness. For too many years he defended the church’s priesthood and let children suffer in the dark. Even though billions have been paid out to the families of rape victims, there are still thousands of rape cases pending in the offices of the Vatican. And the abuse continues.

The Catholic Church has never been a perfect haven or congruent organization. If you add up all of the church’s murders throughout the centuries, it could easily rival the murders during the Holocaust.

The Dark Strategy Of The Catholic Church

Did you know that the Vatican has an official strategy to deal with the rapes? Here are a few excerpts from this hateful strategy, born from the minds of Catholics, and uncontested by the church’s faithful followers.

It’s worked well for them, but HOLY MOLY!

  • When discussing allegations against a priest, NEVER use the word rape, use “hurtful actions,” or “boundary issues.”

  • Upon becoming aware of an “infraction,” NEVER contact the police, under any circumstances.

  • NEVER hire third-party investigators, rather, assign the investigations to internal members of the clergy. In other words, pay other priests (who may also be rapists) to research the crimes of their rapist-peers.

  • Use the rapist-priest’s parish to fund all research, investigations, and legal operations.

  • NEVER admit to a parish, a region, or the press that one of their priests committed a “boundary issue,” rather, tell everybody, including his parishioners, that the sad priest is on sabbatical or sick-leave. Consider using the word, “cancer”.

  • Before the transgressions become public, immediately transfer the rapist-priest to an unknowing parish, without every mentioning his dark past. If the rapist-priest rapes a child at the new parish, continue transferring him to other parishes, maintaining the secrets related to his rapes, until he dies.

  • Eternally fund and subsidize every rapist-priest with his parish’s donations. In other words, a parish’s community pays for every one of their rapist-priest’s food, housing, cars, entertainment, and scam, collared costumes.

  • When confronted by evidence, NEVER claim that the priest committed a sin or crime. Rather, confirm that the priest is “in need of love, compassion, guidance and forgiveness.”

  • When first-news breaks about a priest raping a child, don’t respond or react. Keep silent until a legal authority approaches. Then, follow the instructions above.

Solid Advice From The Pope’s PR Team

  • If you’re the Pope, write a letter, but don’t take action or promise any changes. Don’t punish anybody, even the rapist-priests. When the dust settles, hire photographers to take pictures of you holding hands with cute, old women. Pray-away your compliance.

  • If you’re Catholic, pray for the church, and for the “boundary-aggressed” children. Don’t become angry, picket, or say “rape.” Just be good sheep and tithe, thereby funding the rapes. On Ash Wednesday, wear your ashes all day so people know you’re Catholic.

  • As a Catholic, don’t think outside the little box you believe to be the truth. Stay emotionally and spiritually regressed. Remain dependent on the illusion that being Catholic or Christian saves you from anything. This will make you better taxpayers.

  • If you’re a priest, and you rape someone, keep it secret. And eat your vegetables.

After so many rapes within their church, truly conscious Catholics would have stampeded the doors and demanded justice for the children, and jail for rapists. They might also have forced the abolition of the priesthood.

The Cloth was not founded on eternal, spiritual principles. If it was, celibacy and professed heterosexuality would not be mandatory or even encouraged. If Catholic celibacy were grounded in a durable, truthful set of teachings, the same percentages of molestations would occur at Buddhist and Hindu temples, which is not the case. While Buddhism and Hinduism have other similar and equally problematic issues, pedophilia is not at the top of those lists.

The priesthood is founded on hierarchical spirituality, dishonesty, ignorance, oppression, the avoidance of transparency and authenticity, prehistoric fears and insecurities, and harmful, outdated, medieval ideologies.

Like within all religions, the devout eventually entrench themselves in obsolete and fabricated stories and will stop at nothing to perpetuate and defend them. This is the process within the minds and hearts of all religious adherents that eventually leads to ignorance, brainwashing, misleading enrollment tactics, harm to others, and the death of the open spirit.

My Advice For Free-Thinking Catholics

  • Leave the church and encourage its bankruptcy

  • Seek your evolution and liberation by connecting directly with the divine

  • Fight for justice and defend virtue in all things

  • Imagine a tableau of thousands of Jews in a concentration camp. The pain you imagine in that image is how raped children feel. Remember this, always.

  • Ask yourself, “why have I been silent so silent?”

  • With billions of dollars in reparations, in over 30 countries, involving over 10,000 priests, and over 100,000 children, what internalized, misconstrued idea or belief has made you so devotional to this scam?

Why are you so compliant? Where have you denied the real God and His truth? Can you look beyond the stories of your religion?

Let’s face it. Jesus was neither Catholic or Christian. And there is no basis that he wanted to form any organization whatsoever. Jesus was an Enlightened Master, among many, who would never have permitted the forming of a global real estate entity in his name.

Jesus would have never asked you to defend his church’s sins. He would never have built churches in order to hide behind them. He would have put beds and homeless people in each of them, and then built kitchens to feed the world.

God loves and embraces everybody without prejudice. He would have fought to save children and imprison rapist-priests – without hesitation. He would never have defended bureaucrats in pretty robes, living in towers. He would have defended the bare, naked truth.

Jesus wants you to seek liberation and live the truth.

Jesus is far more eternal, loving, and powerful than many Christians make him out to be. When Jesus turned over the money-tables in the temple, he was full of rage. That’s what love does sometimes. It fights with all its might. It gets ugly. It stands-up to Nazis, rapists, oppressors, and other criminals. It puts prayer on hold and replaces it with decisive, congruent, aggressive action.

Sheep don’t think. Eternally placated, they will happily lead themselves into their own prisons and death. With their silence, sheep enable evil, which can grow and fester in the hearts of even the most conscious, loving human beings.

While its original intentions may have been noble, Catholicism has become a sad, global conglomerate, filled with unconscious, sheep, each of whom funded the rapes of children and the protection of rapist-priests.

As a silent Catholic, you are complicit in every rape since your confirmation. If you are not standing up for the children and the imprisonment of every rapist-priest, you are living beneath your abilities and outside of your professed ideology. Every time you visit your church and tithe, you renew your compliance and confirm your allegiance.

Whatever your religion is, it’s a drug. Your nationalism is a drug. Your ego loves these things.

Dig beyond these temporary constructs. Dig deeper to find the truth. And then dig deeper into the limited and outdated paradigms that you’ve absorbed throughout your life. Move beyond them all.

Stop enabling and supporting all of the internal and external systems that are based in unconsciousness, greed, hatred, abuse, outdated holy books, and secrecy.

As Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians or Born-Againers, you’re not just an American or Christian, you’re a human being with responsibilities. That’s what’s most important. Buck-up, show-up, and come alive! Stop hiding behind exclusive, limited ideologies. Open-up and initiate your own awakening, and support the awakening of others.

Jesus’s quote about truth is spot-on:

“The Truth Shall Set You Free.”

Silent Catholics still have the chance to set hypocrisy on fire and change the world. It is always our choice to remain asleep or to wake up. Pope Francis (Jorge Mario Bergoglio) continued the tradition of silence and avoidance around the rapes, but eventually issued an apology letter. This had no teeth. The thousands of cases against the church continue.

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