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New-Age Narcissists: How To Spot & Avoid Them

Gotta love the wacky, new-agers and other narcissists – or not. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

When traveling in new-age circles, it’s easy to spot the most real and wonderful people. They’re usually the ones not wearing white or purple, standing separate from the chatty, spiritually-chic sheep, and looking somewhat uncomfortable. They might even wear a frown.

New-Age Narcissists: OMG! QUE TERRIBLE, HIJA!

When the New-Age scene first blossomed, I met hundreds of high-quality human beings, deep thinkers, empathic feelers, and intuitive, sensing, light-workers. It was as if the new-age movement had inspired them to venture outside their secret, divine caves for the first time in their lives.

These fascinating people had been waiting for a chance to commune and network with others of like-mind. As powerful and brilliant innovators, they weren’t following a trend and they weren’t obsessed with themselves. They were genuine originals who had clean intentions, infused with integrity. They all shared a sincere desire to connect, heal others, and expand.

Those were the best days and I miss them. What was once the pursuit of truth has become an addition to spiritual-botox.

Now, I see more ego-drenched selfies at new-age events than I do at global television and marketing symposiums. With all the posturing and pretending, spiritual authenticity has almost disappeared in the new-age scene.

Transparency is no longer about being open and lucid, it’s become a trendy, dark art used to color perception and deceive the self. It’s no longer about dissolving the ego, it’s now about how you can construct an ego-based on marketable principles.

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Part of the problem is our addiction to spiritual-porn. You know, all those hip, warm-fuzzy images in our newsfeeds that tell us that we’re Gods and Goddesses. These images encourage us to deny our shadows, which, in turn, causes us to deny half of our humanity, which we then replace with fantasy.

We use these spiritually materialistic images and sound bites to nurture false beliefs about ourselves, which causes us to avoid doing the real work. Truth be told, the real work, while sometimes painful, is both exciting and liberating.

Let’s get back to basics:

  • If we live within and sell a contrived identity, we’re missing the point. The idea is to cleanse the ego of false identities. Die to the ego, don’t glorify it. The path is about embracing the raw, gritty human being, not the false spiritual emblem that you might (temporarily) want to become.

  • If we avoid our feelings, or are unable to hear and accept the feelings of others, we’re either not truly interested in the other person, or we’ve yet to accept ourselves for who we are. Viral or not, emotions are aspects of our humanity, integrate to relating with others, and part of every equation.

  • Not all yoga classes are vibrationally uplifting or even spiritual. Many of them are no more enlightening than exercise, taught by marketers, not yogis. Just because the teacher wears a mala, dhoti, and bindi, and occasionally burps in Sanskrit, doesn’t mean that he or she has any idea how to integrate profound yogic truths into a conscious and transformative curriculum.

  • The new-age is a collective of confused people who are obsessed with derivative spiritual tidbits and immediate gratification. This is neither good nor bad, but it’s probably not good. “New-age,” while once the embodiment of an enlightening ethos and community, is now a catch-all for non-committal, spiritual dabblers who prefer fashionable, feel-good tag lines and spiritual materialism to substance.

I had the immense anti-pleasure of being in business with a local, new-age fakir. She said all the right things, wore the perfect clothes, and then completely disappeared. She lied and stole money from me, pretending that signed agreements are merely suggestions.

Betrayal is a bitch, but it’s also one of the greatest teachers.

At the time, I was ashamed of my love for her and my naiveté, but eventually realized that people who don’t relish commitment and accountability probably don’t love, respect, or understand themselves.

The most important thing I learned is that I must have had garbage remnants of new-age residue inside of me, otherwise, I wouldn’t have attracted a flaky, new-age freak into my life. Her choice to dishonor our relationship pulled a thorn from my spirit.

New-age narcissists are different from regular narcissists because they use flowery language connected to a deity, Guru, or spiritual discipline. This puts them in the “Dangerous” category. Because they reference the Gods, even their shallow projections and brain farts can become alluring, potent propositions.

Some new-agers are so adept at misrepresentation and sexy-spiritual enticement, they’re one decision from becoming prostitutes.

How to Spot a New-Age Narcissist

  • New-age narcissists hate confrontation because it reminds them of how much they’ve been avoiding themselves.

  • New-agers might dislike it when you’re angry with them because it antagonizes their delusions around reality and dreams of being spiritually perfect. If you’re upset with a new-ager, they will avoid you at all costs or place all the blame on you. This is because they only look at the pretty mirrors, not the real ones.

  • Because they often believe themselves to be living angels, they wear perfect spiritually-styled clothing to every meeting and gathering. These spiritual wolves usually have the cash to afford the most divine wardrobes.

  • Listen for warm and chic spiritual language as they describe their lives and choices, while never owning their shortcomings.

  • In business, they’ll use loose commitment language and make assumptions about how things will magically happen vs doing the work required to make things happen.

  • They sometimes describe their fears and how much they are working toward addressing them. Imagine if they put all that self-focus into rolling up their sleeves and getting to work. They love to hear themselves talk about their feelings, so we can track their fascinating progress. Sharing your feelings is healthy, but sharing your feelings all the time is f*cked-up.

  • Their personal mythologies are ridden with stories of horrible, oppressive people in their lives who “hurt” them, and who are not living according to spiritual principles that serve only them.

  • Their social feeds often feature a multitude of selfies with yoga instructors and spiritual teachers, and with backgrounds that highlight temples, ashrams and popular spiritual sites, ya know, like their bedrooms.

New-agers don’t like

to make scheduled plans

because a busy schedule

can interrupt

their magical,

spontaneous,

self-indulgent,

mermaid

lives.

 

How to Protect Your Life from New-age Narcissists

  • Listen for how often the person shares his or her feelings. If it’s every time you get together for 15 minutes, and about every aspect of their lives, they might be self-absorbed, which could easily tip toward narcissism.

  • If they avoid anger and resent your anger, with regard to any situation, it’s possible that they are unable to see themselves clearly, and unwilling to grow beyond their limited, shiny public persona.

  • If they hurt you in business, get a lawyer, and threaten them. Some new-agers are spineless wimps who fear commitment, structure, and accountability. A lawyer will make a new-age narcissist sweat. It’s nice when these jack-offs are forced to hire lawyers to respond to you, because it means they finally had to spend money on something other than Goddess and Ganesha t-shirts.

  • If they hurt you in love, make note of the ways in which you were narcissistic or self-absorbed, and how you allowed them to inflame your ego. In other words, look at your own self-obsession. It might be time to let it go.

  • The most important thing you can do when screwed by a new-age narcissist is to educate them about their hypocrisy. Call them out on every aspect of their behavior, self-obsession, and dishonesty.

  • Given that these white-light addicts tend to hide behind contrived identities, calling them on their bullsh*t will be helpful to them (and you). To make sure they hear you, you might consider using the same shallow spiritual lingo that they use. Most new-age narcissists are akin to bullies. If you stand up to them, they eventually stop wanting to hurt you and others.

  • Reach out to mutual friends and tell them about your experiences. There’s a good chance they’ve done this before and possibly to someone close to you. Sharing your story might help others heal.

  • Finally, delete the new-age vampire’s contact information and never engage with them again.

  • If they muster up an apology, accept it with all of your heart. It’s awesome when knuckleheads wake up.

Be genuine in responses. Step beyond passive spirituality and stand in your personal power. Passivity is not spiritual. It’s a cop-out.

Be authentic. Speak your truth. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Move on.

Your new mantra:

“I want powerful, loving, honest, responsive people in my life.

I embrace commitment, accountability, and authenticity.

Within all my endeavors, I seek clarity, consciousness,

and a healthy reciprocity. In all things, I seek the truth.”

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How to Disentangle from Karmic Relationships

Karmic relationships

Karmic relationships can be transformed. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

We’ve all had at least one relationship that’s threatened our personal power. We may have become so entrenched, we could no longer speak-up or stand-up for ourselves. Sadly, when this friend, lover or family member invited us into their wacky world, we went willingly—and we stayed. Unaware, we left ourselves unprotected and were subject to a twisted reality, which we began to perpetuate and co-create.

When I say “intense,” I’m referring to the self-centered, dramatic people in our lives who expect us to give to them in ways they don’t even give to themselves.

It might appear that the other person is playing a game with our hearts, disabling our abilities to see ourselves and the relationships clearly.

Karmic Relationships: Who am I talking about?

The most problematic people are the ones who regularly chip away at our truth, time, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. Instead of lovingly lifting us up, they hold our heads slightly beneath the water’s surface so we can’t speak or breathe. This hurtful treatment further compounds the dynamic, as well as our misery. This is one of the craziest and karmic relationship.

Human beings have been naturally attracted to egoistic spectacles for centuries. We’ve loved melodrama in our celebrities and long-enabled it in our families. We’ve actively sought it out in friendships, romance and business. We have been eternally attracted to relationships with kooky, intense people.

Fortunately, we can kick them out at any time.

Sensational melodrama can be fun for a while, as it often invites fascinating experiences. While it usually requires that we endure discomfort and disruption, madness usually comes with gifts and surprises too, like 5-star adventures, refreshing spontaneity and hourly oral sex.

How do we put a stop to something

that sometimes balances out to awesome?

More importantly, why would we want to?

.

Although mania has value, the problems begin when mania is at the helm. During those times, we don’t realize how much we’re neglecting the other parts of our souls and lives. As we gaze at the world wearing kooky-colored glasses, we have limited awareness of how f*cked up the rest of our commitments and relationships have become.

Craziness and melodrama are drugs akin to sugar, cocaine, and greed. They’re addictive and dangerous. We might think we’re enjoying a relationship with a phenomenon, but just like any activity that subverts our value, copulating with Ms. Kooky or Mr. Crazy is nothing but self-sacrificial.

Our introduction to egocentricity often comes from our siblings, parents, and family circumstances. Unknowingly, we recreate situations related to our upbringing. That said, even though we’re born into madness, it doesn’t mean we have to stay there.

It’s okay to have a little crazy-intelligence in the house, but if the dynamics continually create roller-coasters, it might be time to ask, “What the f*ck am I doing here?” and “What am I getting out of this?”

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When crazy-intelligence is healthy, it pushes us to think outside the box, inspires us to plan wonderful events, and helps us conjure mind-blowing ideas. When crazy-intelligence is our friend, it builds bridges, enhances our lives, and improves our self-worth. But if untenable craziness dominates, it’s nothing more than a beautifully-decorated weapon that we empower to bring us down.

Weaning off of melodrama can be a nightmare. It requires being honest about what we want and what truly makes us happy. It requires a great deal of self-reflection and letting go.

The process of absolving ourselves from someone else’s egocentricity and melodrama will bring up anger, sadness, guilt, and shame. It can get really messy in such a karmic relationship. If we’re successful, it’ll inspire tough-mindedness, the ability to confront others, and the desire to continue making and sticking to proactive changes in our lives. If we’re not successful, we’ll compound our challenges and put ourselves at further risk.

.

When we’ve enrolled ourselves in someone else’s chaos,

we lose touch with what brings us peace.

In the midst of mayhem,

we forget how to nurture our hearts

and defend our life-vision.

.

If you’ve been eating at the kooky, karma table and desire a rebirth from Karmic Relationships, follow this plan:

  1. Make note of the things you’ve learned from all the drama: the good, the bad, and the super f*cked-up. Celebrate the lessons and be grateful.

  2. Make a list of the wonderful things and people in your life, then fill your schedule with them.

  3. Before you add something new to your life, ask yourself, “Will this person or event enhance my happiness, awareness, and life-conditions, or will he or she detract from them?”

  4. Say goodbye to the egocentricity and imbalance, either in-person, phone, text, or via a loving friend who’s willing to take a bullet for you. It can be a sentence, book, video, or one-person play. Just get ‘er done.

  5. Never look back. Ever.

If we can enjoy the unpredictable drama in our lives and then use it for our evolution, maybe we’ve mastered it. For the rest of us, saying goodbye to Ms. Kooky or Mr. Crazy is the moment when our lives begin.

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A Ritual for Changing the Book of Life

It’s time to reboot with this awesome ritual. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

I’m fascinated by White-Lighters. Who are the White-Lighters? These are the folks breathing white light through their navel with the hope that their world will change without any additional effort. They write down their needs and desires and say, “Since I have written and spoke these things, they will all appear!”

Unfortunately, reality doesn’t work that way. It’s true that thoughts and intentions are powerful. They help us form our action plans, relationships, and boundaries. They set the tone we need to move forward on a path. But if we’d like something to actually occur, ya know, like in a physical reality that we are participating in, we have to invest quite a bit of action into an event before it manifests. Matter is quite a complex notion, especially if you want to move it around or make it do something that’s a deviation from its current path.

Making changes to our lives can be complicated. We might want to say goodbye to a friend who continually hurts or disrespects us, but that friend is connected to 27 other people we love. How then do we move through space and time and fine-tune our experience without creating absolute social havoc?

How do we disrupt our old ways and create lasting change?

To effect lasting change in our lives, it’s important that we can access our feelings, express ourselves, clean house, and establish changes in our behavior. Ritualizing the changes we desire can produce a lot of emotions which results in an up-leveling of our wisdom. Without emotions, there’s no wisdom, and without wisdom, it’s difficult to make better decisions.

I cried my eyes out yesterday saying goodbye to someone I had said goodbye to long ago. The problem was that when I exited that relationship, I didn’t fully emote the change. I may have been in a state of shock.

Conversely, when I’ve ritualized the changes I’ve wanted, the emotions come, and then I’m clearer and more resolute. And because I’ve begun to release emotions, when I make the change, it’s a full-bodied, resolute, and complete experience.

What does it mean to ritualize a desired change?

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A ritual is a physical activity involving clear intentions, words, symbolic gestures, and objects that we find to have meaning in our lives, the unique coordination of which helps us establish a greater level of peace or a change around a specific reality. In short, a ritual is a personal, physicalized prayer.

My favorite ritual for letting go of the past, changing behavior, and inviting a new paradigm for life is called, The Changing the Book of Life. I learned the ritual from a Native American elder who had taken me under his wing.

With a gallon of water, a blanket, and a list of things I wanted to pray about, I hiked into the Pecos wilderness, veering off the main path for around 10 miles. After a full day of hiking at a great pace, I was nestled deep in the real wilderness (not the wilderness marked by paths, signs, and toilets). I climbed atop a steep hill above the tree line and I sat in the lotus position and meditated.

It was a super hot day in August so I took off all my clothes and drank some water. I felt peaceful and resolved in what I was about to do. A mountain lion walked nearby and climbed further up the hill. He sat behind me and watched me for the duration of my ritual.

There were no birds at this elevation, but a few tiger moths floated gently around me. I took out a piece of paper titled, “Changing the Book of Life Ritual,” which had a list of instructions, along with my list of all sorts of things that I wanted the universe to shed some light on.

The ritual asks that we choose a deity. I chose a power-quad of Jesus, Amma (Amma.org), Buddha, and a Tree. I imagined the four of these superpowers working on my behalf throughout the entire ritual.

The instructions stated that I was to imagine each challenge that I wanted to be changed in my life and ask the deities to “Change the Book of Life” for all time.

Here’s the way it works:

  • Sit quietly and make a list of the things in your life that you want to release. This includes people, places, events, experiences, and ideas.

  • Head into the woods alone so that you can connect with nature. Find a peaceful place to perform your ritual.

  • As you sit quietly, invite all of your guides and diety to join you.

  • Imagine that you can see your deity (or imagine an expansive universe) in front of you, near you, or in the sky around you.

  • Imagine the challenges that you want to release and speak them aloud.

  • Tell the universe or your deity that you want back all the gifts, talents, and attributes that you gave to this person or experience.

  • Tell the universe that you are giving back all the gifts, talents, and attributes that you received from this person or experience.

  • Ask the deity or universe to help the people involved in the challenge. Pray that neither you nor the other person (or peoples) experiences no lost love in the change you are requesting.

  • Ask that all dangling threads of need, hope, and desire are fulfilled and nurtured in every way by the limitless universe. In this way, there is no loss, even though you are asking that something be deleted from your eternal life records.

  • Tell the deity or universe that you want this change to happen immediately, right now, and that you want the “book of life” to be changed for all time.

I thought I had a handful of things I wanted to change, but the more I got into it, I was releasing more and more. I was going far beyond my original list.

I thought this ritual was going to take a couple of hours and then I’d be off hiking, but I let go of 40 people and events, and it took seven hours to complete.

Throughout these seven hours, I cried, laughed, sobbed heavily, pounded the earth in anger, freaked out, pissed myself, had anxiety, shouted out my pain, and completely exhausted every level of my being in every way. It was a relatively insane experience, but WOWOWOW! It was powerful.

As I looked out across the treetops, seeing this beautiful sunset, it was the clearest sky I had ever seen. I could see eternity. I peeked over my shoulder and saw the mountain lion was still resting nearby.

I felt deeply grateful for the experience of releasing so many things, so I bowed my head and thanked the universe for this changing of the book of life.

I thanked creation, knowing that my gifts, talents, and attributes would be returned to me. I knew I would feel more whole.

As I lifted my head with love in my heart, 20 feet in front of me, just off the edge of the cliff appeared 40 beautiful, boisterous, singing birds.

This was the universe reflecting back to me all that I had given away in my life. I felt heard and loved. I was so deeply moved that I sobbed for an hour in gratitude.

The Changing of the Book of Life Ritual was extremely powerful for me. There has been nothing even remotely similar to this experience in my life. It was beyond life-changing. I slept soundly atop the rocks that night with my friend the mountain lion nearby.

The ritual was a profound experience and it worked according to its promise. I released things I never thought were possible. Everything was lighter after that day. My life felt realigned and focused. My heart was no longer cloudy and my relationship-tree was cleansed and simplified. I was renewed in every way.

Days later, I had several unusual voicemails from a few people I had released. They must have felt something. I know I sure did.

Learn more about rituals & engage Paul as your guide.

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Fun Ways to Make Life Lovelier for Others When Traveling

make life lovelier

Travel with love in your heart. A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

When I travel, I love to make life a little less stressful for others. I try to love-up and appreciate everybody I meet, make life lovelier for everyone. Since it’s especially easy to take people in the service industry for granted, I often focus on them. When I’m paying attention, I can feel their efforts and intentions and I feel a deep well of gratitude. I tend to be overly-empathic, which can be debilitating if I’m not careful. To remain in the flow, I reach out to others who appear to need a little love. I often play a game with myself to see how many altruistic things I can accomplish during one travel stint.

I love to help others. I love to make life lovelier. It’s the best addiction.

These are things that I do to upgrade my travel karma:

Bathrooms

To help other travelers feel more comfortable and respectable before I leave a bathroom in an airport, bus station, or convention center, I pick up the trash on the floor, wipe down the toilet seat, and alert the janitor of any issues I can’t fix. The little things add up.

Hotel Rooms

A maid’s job is tough, often under-appreciated, and repetitive. Before leaving a hotel room, I roll all the towels into a ball and place them near the door. I put all the trash into one bucket and strip the bed. I throw out the used soap and place the shampoo containers next to the sink. I open a window to bring in the fresh air and I leave a small tip with a cute note with a heart on it.

Restaurants

When at restaurants, I pile my dishes, napkins, and silverware and push them closer to the edge of the table so it’s easier for waitstaff to clear. When I sense a waiter or waitress is stressed or unhappy, I ask them a light-hearted personal question about their family, culture, or jewelry. I try to bring them out of themselves so they can internalize my appreciation. When I sense the waitstaff needs some extra love and attention, I might leave a 200% tip.

If I saw homeless people on the way from the hotel to a restaurant, I remember them when I finish my meal. I box up my left-overs so that nothing is wasted, and I purchase a piece of pie. Putting it all in one bag, I add a little love note.

While exiting the restaurant, I look for the most open and receptive homeless person, I give them the bag, along with a hug. When I witness someone working hard to have hope and express that hope, I love to validate it.

Eye Contact

Maids, janitors, shoe-shiners, and floor sweepers tend to be ignored and I believe this affects their well-being. When I see someone working hard to clean or fix something, I give them a smile, share eye contact, or engage them in conversation. I’ve met some of the most loving, profound, and interesting people this way.

Airports

I love airports and I am committed to enjoying every aspect of my experience there, as well as make life lovelier for all my fellow travelers. I arrive at security three hours early so I can be friendly, peaceful, and relaxed during the process. When someone near me looks a little freaked out or stressed, I let them go ahead of me. When I see a cranky or disgruntled person, I engage them in conversation with the hope of softening their frustration. I remain alert and friendly with security staff, saying “thank you” as many times as possible.

When entering airport security, I always pre-plan what I’ll put in the trays. I untie my shoelaces so they come off more easily. I put my belt in my travel bag. I make sure my computer bag is unzipped so all I have to do is pull my laptop and drop it into a tray.

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If someone near me looks confused, I grab a tray for them and give them encouragement. When exiting airport security, I pick up the left-over trays on the conveyor belts/scanners and put them in the tray holder to make room.

Compassion with Strangers

Travel can be alienating for many people. I like to seek out ways to make life lovelier and nurture others with positive reinforcement. I often seek out the saddest and upset person in a restaurant and I secretly pay for their meal, leaving before the waitress tells them their bill was paid.

If a taxi/Uber/Lyft/rickshaw driver shares a story of hardship and I can feel their pain, I give them a large sum of money and tell them that I love them. I did this in Thailand and the taxi driver squeezed me so hard, we both burst into tears. I often do this in the US with single mothers. Their reactions take my breath away.

When I feel someone’s pain and I am unable to help them in some way, I imagine light shining upon them and I ask the Universe/God to lighten their heart and give them strength.

Let’s all keep an eye out for each other when we travel. A little love goes a long, long way.

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Give Yourself Permission to Say Goodbye to Family

permit yourself to say goodbye to family

Birth-families are not always awesome. A Shutterstock. Licensed Image.

We don’t have to remain latched to every kid, sibling, or cousin across three generations just because we married a lineage, or share blood and a last name. It’s okay to gently, swiftly say goodbye. We might even be doing them a favor.

It’s a fallacy, an ancient mythic lie that our birth and constructed families are permanent fixtures in our lives. They are not permanent and they are not always required. It’s our choices that enable a person or family to hurt, oppress, and control us. Allowing these limitations of culture to impress upon us to stay with family through thick and thin make codependency a serious issue.

Families are temporary constructs from which we derive temporary meaning for our lives. If the meanings change, dissolve or contravene, either through our evolution or a shift in another person’s perspective, we are called to rethink, possibly redesign our commitments. While this is not a call to be reckless, it’s important to understand that every person has options.

Birthdays, New Years, and holidays usher in profound times of reevaluation, self-reflection and tribal-assessment. When we first start to explore our needs for independence from our families, we might choose to refrain from heading home for the holidays. Doing so, we might feel guilty or conflicted, or we might have the best frickin’ holiday of our lives.

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Our childhood experiences and habits around holidays are not indelible. We can remake anything at any time through a shift in perspective and behavior. Playing the old movies in our minds, we realize what we don’t want in our lives. Stepping away from the past, we realize we have unlimited potential in any direction.

If we’re paying attention during family visits, the moment we pull into our sibling’s or mother’s (or even our own) driveway, we begin to feel the stress around the family behaviors we no longer desire or wish to tolerate. We start to feel our former-self bubble up, chock-full of old responses, and ancient reactions. For many people, holidays are times of healing and renewal. For the rest of us, enforced family gatherings are head-f*cks.

The true definition of a birth family: a small group of people forced to deal with each other while fighting for limited resources. These birth, childhood, and adoptive groups are vital to our growth and self-discovery, but many of them have expiration dates. While these families might serve a huge purpose in our early years, they can become void of intrinsic value as we age. They can also become toxic.

 

This is not to say that all families are bad or that we should strive to let them go. On the contrary, if you’ve been born into a tolerable group of fair-minded people who respect you, then cling to these people with all your heart! If you’re a Mormon, you might be so enthused with your family that you’ve sealed yourself to them for eternity. Whatever moistens your loins. Go for it!

For many of us though, our families, and sometimes our marriages, are odd assemblages of twisted personalities that were never able to agree-upon an all-inclusive system of communication, behavior, and rituals.

There may have been abuse or neglect in the original contracts within your childhood home. It might be that your voice was never truly welcome in your family. You may be a successful person in the world, but when you return home to the old patterns, you’re thrust into the corner with a mouthguard and dunce cap.

You might need to dig deep and grieve some of the toxic imagery rolling around in your mind and heart. You might be so overwhelmed with emotions stemming from childhood that it’s become impossible to speak with members of your family.

Every one of us has family fascia clinging to our souls, so remember that you’re in good company. Seek clarity. While everyone else will want to cram you into their little boxes, allow yourself to expand, make YOU the priority, and love yourself.

 

It might be that we hate our families and refuse to forgive them. We may have forgiven them, but we refuse to forget. We might love them, but don’t want to be near them any longer. It might be that you’re still playing the role of victim, and being around your family is akin to pouring salt in your wounds.

Each situation is unique and cannot be judged from the perspectives of traditional or religious family values. Human beings are far more complex than that and there are many paths that lead to liberation.

If you find yourself nodding your head as you read all this, accept the fact that your situation is your own and you do not need anybody’s approval to make changes in your life. Regardless of how many family relationships you decide to exit, understand that those who truly wish to be in your company will seek you out with a full heart, complete respect, unlimited kindness, and compassionate understanding.

Pushing hard to break from family might not bring about the most lasting changes. Before applying the pruning sheers to your family tree, come to terms with your mistakes, then forgive them. Come to terms with other people’s mistakes, then forgive them. Be accepting of the way things are. Find peace before you make major breaks.

When making big decisions around relationships and family bondage, shut out the old family voices, quiet the sibling rants, silence the “traditional society” and religious bullshit. Listen to your voice. It’s the only one that counts.

Our paths are mutually exclusive. Yours might require extended periods of solitude. It might be that you need a break from family or tradition. Heck, you might just want to skip one holiday meal in favor of drinking your face off at the local bar. You get to choose because it’s your life. Don’t get tripped up by guilt and shame. Those things barely exist.

Even the Buddha skipped town on his wife and kid.

He turned out okay, right?

Whatever changes are on your horizon, seek the ones that bring you peace. Seek traditions, new or old, that bring you joy.

Our primary contract is not with our families, it’s with the Universe.

Infuse that contract with as much joy as possible. With or without family, it’s your life. Enjoy it!

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Herbs And Supplements That Can Heal Or Awaken Your Thyroid

Herbs And Supplements

You can heal your Thyroid! A Shutterstock Licensed Image.

One of the key drivers and actors behind your emotions and emotional intelligence is your thyroid. Resting below your Adam’s apple, and along the front and sides of your windpipe, the thyroid has two squishy compartments connected by a similarly textured bridge. Shaped like a butterfly, this gentle and vital friend appears to elevate your breath and give flight to your voice.

The thyroid might hold the key to the evolution of your relationships, consciousness, and sense of Self. Even if your thyroid appears to be on her last breath, she is waiting to be healed. While this might take some time, effort, patience, and inward reflection, it’ll be worth it. Your thyroid processes experiences and information akin to your heart. When you love, your thyroid loves. When you breathe, so does this lovely and powerful little organ.

Your thyroid is hyper-aware and connected to the other realms, unlike any of your other glands and organs. It might also be providing you with helpful information on how to live, love, heal and thrive.

As with all things related to your health, seek the help of a doctor, D.O., or nutritionist to help you understand, treat, and heal your body. The thyroid is a particularly complex organ, so as you pursue its healing, be careful, be gentle, and have patience.

How Does The Thyroid Work?

The thyroid gland uses the iodine in your body (sourced from food and supplements) to produce two vital hormones: T3 (Triiodothyronine) and T4 (Thyroxine). Your pituitary gland, nestled in your brain, is the thyroid’s master and the gatekeeper of TSH (Thyroid-Stimulating Hormone).

When your pituitary gland releases TSH into your bloodstream, your thyroid excretes hormones. When your pituitary gland detects low thyroid hormone levels, it releases more TSH. When it detects the opposite, it reduces its excretion of TSH. To diagnose thyroid problems, doctors will use blood tests to determine your levels of TSH, T4, T3, and sometimes RT3 (Reverse T3).

Thyroid Disease Dictionary

The thyroid is part of the endocrine system, which produces hormones that fuel many critical bodily functions. It can become damaged through heredity, repeated trauma, drug use, alcoholism, stress, and diet.

Symptoms of a damaged or weak thyroid include:

  • Fatigue and weakness
  • Feeling cold all the time
  • Joint pain and muscle soreness
  • Regularly feeling emotional or depressed
  • Weight gain
  • Slowed heart rate, movement, and speech
  • Dry skin
  • Heavy menstruation
  • High cholesterol
  • Anemia
  • Loss of libido
  • Recurring urinary and respiratory tract infections

There are several types of thyroid conditions and diseases, some of which are more difficult to heal than others.

Hypothyroidism

When the thyroid gland does not produce enough thyroid hormones (thyroxine) to keep your body in balance, it means the gland is under-active. Symptoms include fatigue, weight gain, cold sensitivity, constipation, memory loss, and muscle cramps.

Hyperthyroidism

An overactive thyroid occurs when your thyroid gland produces too much of the hormone thyroxine. This condition can cause heat intolerance, increased sweating, insomnia, decreased appetite, rapid heartbeat, irritability, nervousness, dizziness, and anxiety. You’ll see below that there are many natural supplements for Hyperthyroidism.

Grave’s Disease

This condition results in the overproduction of thyroid hormones, which can also cause Hyperthyroidism.

Hashimoto’s Disease

Also known as chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis (Hypothyroidism), Hashimoto’s disease causes your immune system to attack your thyroid. This causes it to underperform and then overcompensate, swinging back and forth in pendulum-like fashion. While this and other thyroid conditions tend to affect middle-aged women, they can all occur in anyone at any age.

Western Thyroid Medication

While doctors most often prescribe the drug knowns as synthetic thyroxine, a medication that’s identical to our T4 hormones, there are several ways to nurture and potentially heal your thyroid. The reason T3 is not always prescribed is that T4 will naturally convert to T3. That said, T3 is more potent and more effective than T4.

Levothyroxine (Synthroid): a synthetic version of T4 and the preferred treatment of hypothyroidism.

Liothyronine (Cytomel): a synthetic version of T3 sometimes used in the treatment of hypothyroidism. Some doctors avoid prescribing this because it can cause hormone toxicity and Hyperthyroidism in some cases.

Levothyroxine Alternative: DTE

When your thyroid is not functioning correctly, taking natural, Desiccated Thyroid Extract (DTE) can change your life. For many, they can provide excellent and effective alternatives to Levothyroxine and Liothyronine.

Desiccated thyroid is a thyroid gland extract, usually taken from a cow (bovine) or pig (porcine). Once extracted, DTE is dried and milled into a powder and made in the form of a daily pill at 75, 150, 300mg, and more.

Products in this category to consider include Thyroid-Gold from Natural Thyroid Solutions (my favorite), Armour Thyroid, and Nature Throid. In a U.S. NIH study that compared the effects of DTE and Levothyroxine, the vast majority of patients preferred DTE. Overall, these patients felt better over time and experienced weight loss when compared to the patients who used Levothyroxine.

DTE might also be better for your emotional and psychological well-being, which directly affects relationships, financial well-being, spiritual health, and personal growth.

Thyroid Support Supplements

Taken in moderation, these are the primary supplements found in most thyroid regiments:book-live-intuitive-reading-with-paul-wagner

    • Selenium
    • Iron (and Tyrosine)
    • Vitamin B
    • Vitamin D
    • Zinc
    • Probiotics
    • Zinc, turmeric, Vitamins B and D (your best thyroid support vitamins), Iron, Selenium, Probiotics
    • For Hashimoto’s only: Magnesium converts the inactive T4 thyroid hormone into the active form of T3, which some people find helpful
    • Ayurvedic herbs for thyroid health: Ashwagandha, Guggul, Pepperin, Bauhinia Purpurea, Kanchanara (Bauhinia variegata, purple mountain ebony), Jatamansi, Brahmi, Shilajit, Gokshura, Punarnava
    • Excellent thyroid supplement brands include Thorne, 1 Body, Pure, MegaFood, and Now. Take your time and research all of the possible supplements that promise to nurture your thyroid back to health.

Remember, the best thyroid supplement is the one that gives you the energy and balance that leads to a peaceful and happy life.

Things to Limit Or Avoid

While some of these things are okay in moderation, be careful around how much you regularly consume.

  • Avoid kale, broccoli, spinach, and cabbage
  • Limit soy foods like tofu, tempeh, and edamame
  • Starchy foods like sweet potatoes
  • Limit fruits including peaches, pears, and strawberries
  • Limit alcohol, coffee, green tea, and other caffeinated beverages as they can irritate your thyroid
  • Millet
  • Pine nuts
  • Peanuts
  • Highly processed foods like hot dogs, chips, desserts, and snacks
  • Taking too much selenium and iodine can be harmful
  • Anger
  • Exaggerated emotional reactions
  • Doctors who know little about your thyroid, and who have no interest in learning the latest and most effective methodologies

Food and Modalities to Heal Your Thyroid

While seeking the help of a certified health practitioner is always recommended, here are a few things you might want to add to your life and daily regiment:

  • Meditation and deep breathing will increase your vibration, which can have a lasting effect on your brain, heart, and thyroid
  • Forgiveness and crying will release stored, toxic energy that could be inhibiting your thyroid
  • Essential Oils for thyroid nodules include spearmint, peppermint, myrrh, rose, cedarwood, lavender
  • Bach Flower Remedies help reduce anxiety and return people to their natural emotional state.
  • N.E.T. Remedies help balance and honor your emotions
  • Seaweeds such as kelp, nori, and wakame are rich in iodine
  • Salted nuts like Brazil, macadamia, and hazelnuts are abundant in selenium
  • Eggs
  • Yogurt
  • Baked Fish
  • Flaxseed
  • A forward-thinking, open-minded doctor or D.O. who can fathom and act upon ideas sourced after 1970

Your thyroid is like a little kitten. Love her, massage her, talk to her, and breathe life into her whenever possible. Do the same for all of your organs and you’ll give yourself the best chance at lasting health.

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Like Germans Who Funded The Holocaust, Silent Catholics Are Complicit In The Sins of Their Church

Photo From Wikipedia. We LOVE Wikipedia!

If you’re a Catholic who has consistently and vehemently held your ancient church and its leadership to the fires of morality and virtue, you are truly extraordinary! Thank you, but this article isn’t meant for you. This punchy pile of prose is aimed at your spineless Catholic brothers and sisters, the ones who sheepishly hid in their pews, lost sense of their humanity, and protected pedophiles with their misplaced reverence and silence.

“When Jesus said, ‘Suffer the little children, come unto me,’ that’s not what he was talking about!”

~ George Carlin

When you examine the Catholic hierarchy and its sheep-like followers, you see dim reflections of Nazi Germany, a country that funded and supported the killing of over 6 million people. With the luscious lingo found in their outdated religious texts (rewritten and retranslated hundreds of times), Catholics (and most Christians) pray, eat paper bread, and pretend to give a flying-toot about love, humanity, and justice. Mostly, Catholics strive to feel good about themselves and their church. They believe that their religion and the bible comprise the sole, undeniable truth.

Funded by the sale of billions of dollars in Vatican real estate, and fueled by denial, and the inability to critique their own ideologies, Catholics enabled thousands of priests to rape tens of thousands of children, some as young as 3. While this has been going on for centuries, it’s the past 75+ years that have been the focus.

“Becoming awake involves seeing our confusion more clearly.”

~ Rumi

How did Catholic church-goers consciously support and then continue to fund all of these rapes? Denial, compliance and weekly attendance. No matter how many rapes or how convincing the evidence, Catholics continued to love and support their church through tithing, bake sales, and paying exorbitant tuition at high-priced Catholic institutions.

With their stunning silence and warped sense of the Divine, Catholic parishioners stifled what could have been a revolution to overcome how religions use greed, dishonesty, and secrecy to abuse and control the masses. Instead, they continue to behave like the unconscious members of any cult or political party.

Similarly, the Nazis were funded by their county’s patriots, and eventually by the countries and banks they commandeered, all of which enabled their regime to round-up millions of Jews, Gypsies and “sexual deviants,” in order to systematically kill them. At the time of these killings, over one-third of Germany was Catholic, and almost all of Germany was Christian. Let that sink-in a minute.

Catholicism and Christianity are distant cousins at best, and neither solely promotes the teachings of Jesus. Both were contrived and then evolved as composites of political movements, social networks, and financial organizations.

Neither Catholicism nor Christianity are based solely on enduring spiritual principles, like love or compassion. And while it’s more complex than that, these old religions have lost their abilities to scrutinize their outdated ideologies and practices, including those perpetrated by the many criminals and dark thinkers within their ranks.

Mostly, these religions are aimed at amassing followers, and then enrolling, misguiding, and controlling them. To align with either of them is to deny the profound, loving, and eternal nature of our divine universe. Why relegate yourself to a something so limited?

If you’re still a Catholic or Christian, consider the depth of the hypocrisy and misinformation within your religion’s books and halls, rethink your blind allegiance, and grow. As the rapes continued, Pope Benedict was devious and avoidant, and his followers were silent.

“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.”

~ George Carlin

Pedophile Priests in the Catholic Church And Their Victims

When a child is raped, it’s very different from a woman or man being raped. Men and women often have a collection of psychological constructs and healthy paradigms that can save them from at least a measure of anger, hatred, confusion, feelings of abandonment, suicide, personality disorders, and similar problematic conditions and circumstances. They can reach out, verbalize their traumas, and learn how to receive love and guidance. Not in all cases, but adults who have been raped stand a much better chance at healing, when compared to children who have been raped.

Children do not have strong foundations, fully-developed personalities, or innate psychological fortresses to save them from anguish and self-hatred that often results from being abused, manipulated, or raped. All they have are suggestions, most of which, they cannot fully fathom, integrate, or comprehend. Children are sponges and most cannot fully recover from rape. They can only learn to put it within a healthier framework, which most often happens more than 30 years following their traumatizing experiences.

When Jewish families were executed, all of their future generations were stained, pained and burdened. Akin to slavery, you cannot pray-away that kind of trauma. When children are raped, they silently internalize it, which forms several unique constructs within their personalities and self-identities. These identity-constructs eventually emerge in the DNA of every one of their relationships and offspring, which can grow within their ancestries for generations.

A little rape of a little person is not a little thing.

Everyone who has been raped carries a dark, open, porous wound, and childhood rapes burrow much deeper. Everything they do and become will be tainted by their rapes. Yes, a raped child can emerge as a conscious, kind, aware and liberated adult, but that journey is incredibly painful, and can drive the individual to the brink of insanity.

While being faithful and devotional are lovely attributes, blind faith tends to disregard truth, alienate victims and those less fortunate, and enable forms of abuse. Hasn’t Catholicism progressed far beyond its tipping point?

Catholics and their Christian counterparts, like all people who allow themselves to be brainwashed, have tended to be defensive and cowardly when it comes to this topic. The vast majority of them remained silent for more than 30 years after the truth about the raping clergy emerged. They are still complacent. They are still silent.

Compared to the Nazi German citizens who were mostly horrified after the Allies publicized the horrors of concentration camps, Catholics have been protective of their church, rather than protectors of children, and warriors of justice. They might say the right things, but they still support and love a church that has had abuse and secrecy embedded in its foundation for centuries. It will never truly change.

Even though many Catholics are aware of the Vatican’s dark strategy, they are still devout to their Pope. While he appears to be cuddly, warm and fuzzy, he’s similar to any political leader during times of darkness. For too many years he defended the church’s priesthood and let children suffer in the dark. Even though billions have been paid out to the families of rape victims, there are still thousands of rape cases pending in the offices of the Vatican. And the abuse continues.

The Catholic Church has never been a perfect haven or congruent organization. If you add up all of the church’s murders throughout the centuries, it could easily rival the murders during the Holocaust.

The Dark Strategy Of The Catholic Church

Did you know that the Vatican has an official strategy to deal with the rapes? Here are a few excerpts from this hateful strategy, born from the minds of Catholics, and uncontested by the church’s faithful followers.

It’s worked well for them, but HOLY MOLY!

  • When discussing allegations against a priest, NEVER use the word rape, use “hurtful actions,” or “boundary issues.”

  • Upon becoming aware of an “infraction,” NEVER contact the police, under any circumstances.

  • NEVER hire third-party investigators, rather, assign the investigations to internal members of the clergy. In other words, pay other priests (who may also be rapists) to research the crimes of their rapist-peers.

  • Use the rapist-priest’s parish to fund all research, investigations, and legal operations.

  • NEVER admit to a parish, a region, or the press that one of their priests committed a “boundary issue,” rather, tell everybody, including his parishioners, that the sad priest is on sabbatical or sick-leave. Consider using the word, “cancer”.

  • Before the transgressions become public, immediately transfer the rapist-priest to an unknowing parish, without every mentioning his dark past. If the rapist-priest rapes a child at the new parish, continue transferring him to other parishes, maintaining the secrets related to his rapes, until he dies.

  • Eternally fund and subsidize every rapist-priest with his parish’s donations. In other words, a parish’s community pays for every one of their rapist-priest’s food, housing, cars, entertainment, and scam, collared costumes.

  • When confronted by evidence, NEVER claim that the priest committed a sin or crime. Rather, confirm that the priest is “in need of love, compassion, guidance and forgiveness.”

  • When first-news breaks about a priest raping a child, don’t respond or react. Keep silent until a legal authority approaches. Then, follow the instructions above.

Solid Advice From The Pope’s PR Team

  • If you’re the Pope, write a letter, but don’t take action or promise any changes. Don’t punish anybody, even the rapist-priests. When the dust settles, hire photographers to take pictures of you holding hands with cute, old women. Pray-away your compliance.

  • If you’re Catholic, pray for the church, and for the “boundary-aggressed” children. Don’t become angry, picket, or say “rape.” Just be good sheep and tithe, thereby funding the rapes. On Ash Wednesday, wear your ashes all day so people know you’re Catholic.

  • As a Catholic, don’t think outside the little box you believe to be the truth. Stay emotionally and spiritually regressed. Remain dependent on the illusion that being Catholic or Christian saves you from anything. This will make you better taxpayers.

  • If you’re a priest, and you rape someone, keep it secret. And eat your vegetables.

After so many rapes within their church, truly conscious Catholics would have stampeded the doors and demanded justice for the children, and jail for rapists. They might also have forced the abolition of the priesthood.

The Cloth was not founded on eternal, spiritual principles. If it was, celibacy and professed heterosexuality would not be mandatory or even encouraged. If Catholic celibacy were grounded in a durable, truthful set of teachings, the same percentages of molestations would occur at Buddhist and Hindu temples, which is not the case. While Buddhism and Hinduism have other similar and equally problematic issues, pedophilia is not at the top of those lists.

The priesthood is founded on hierarchical spirituality, dishonesty, ignorance, oppression, the avoidance of transparency and authenticity, prehistoric fears and insecurities, and harmful, outdated, medieval ideologies.

Like within all religions, the devout eventually entrench themselves in obsolete and fabricated stories and will stop at nothing to perpetuate and defend them. This is the process within the minds and hearts of all religious adherents that eventually leads to ignorance, brainwashing, misleading enrollment tactics, harm to others, and the death of the open spirit.

My Advice For Free-Thinking Catholics

  • Leave the church and encourage its bankruptcy

  • Seek your evolution and liberation by connecting directly with the divine

  • Fight for justice and defend virtue in all things

  • Imagine a tableau of thousands of Jews in a concentration camp. The pain you imagine in that image is how raped children feel. Remember this, always.

  • Ask yourself, “why have I been silent so silent?”

  • With billions of dollars in reparations, in over 30 countries, involving over 10,000 priests, and over 100,000 children, what internalized, misconstrued idea or belief has made you so devotional to this scam?

Why are you so compliant? Where have you denied the real God and His truth? Can you look beyond the stories of your religion?

Let’s face it. Jesus was neither Catholic or Christian. And there is no basis that he wanted to form any organization whatsoever. Jesus was an Enlightened Master, among many, who would never have permitted the forming of a global real estate entity in his name.

Jesus would have never asked you to defend his church’s sins. He would never have built churches in order to hide behind them. He would have put beds and homeless people in each of them, and then built kitchens to feed the world.

God loves and embraces everybody without prejudice. He would have fought to save children and imprison rapist-priests – without hesitation. He would never have defended bureaucrats in pretty robes, living in towers. He would have defended the bare, naked truth.

Jesus wants you to seek liberation and live the truth.

Jesus is far more eternal, loving, and powerful than many Christians make him out to be. When Jesus turned over the money-tables in the temple, he was full of rage. That’s what love does sometimes. It fights with all its might. It gets ugly. It stands-up to Nazis, rapists, oppressors, and other criminals. It puts prayer on hold and replaces it with decisive, congruent, aggressive action.

Sheep don’t think. Eternally placated, they will happily lead themselves into their own prisons and death. With their silence, sheep enable evil, which can grow and fester in the hearts of even the most conscious, loving human beings.

While its original intentions may have been noble, Catholicism has become a sad, global conglomerate, filled with unconscious, sheep, each of whom funded the rapes of children and the protection of rapist-priests.

As a silent Catholic, you are complicit in every rape since your confirmation. If you are not standing up for the children and the imprisonment of every rapist-priest, you are living beneath your abilities and outside of your professed ideology. Every time you visit your church and tithe, you renew your compliance and confirm your allegiance.

Whatever your religion is, it’s a drug. Your nationalism is a drug. Your ego loves these things.

Dig beyond these temporary constructs. Dig deeper to find the truth. And then dig deeper into the limited and outdated paradigms that you’ve absorbed throughout your life. Move beyond them all.

Stop enabling and supporting all of the internal and external systems that are based in unconsciousness, greed, hatred, abuse, outdated holy books, and secrecy.

As Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians or Born-Againers, you’re not just an American or Christian, you’re a human being with responsibilities. That’s what’s most important. Buck-up, show-up, and come alive! Stop hiding behind exclusive, limited ideologies. Open-up and initiate your own awakening, and support the awakening of others.

Jesus’s quote about truth is spot-on:

“The Truth Shall Set You Free.”

Silent Catholics still have the chance to set hypocrisy on fire and change the world. It is always our choice to remain asleep or to wake up. Pope Francis (Jorge Mario Bergoglio) continued the tradition of silence and avoidance around the rapes, but eventually issued an apology letter. This had no teeth. The thousands of cases against the church continue.

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