The Spiritual Practice of Forgetting: Letting Go of the Past

# The Spiritual Practice of Forgetting: Letting Go of the Past My dearest friends, I want to talk to you today about something that might sound a little strange at first: the spiritual practice of forgetting. In a world that tells us to remember everything, to hold on to every detail, to learn from every mistake, I’m here to suggest something radical. I’m here to suggest that one of the most intense things you can do for your soul is to learn how to forget. Now, I’m not talking about amnesia or ignoring the lessons life has taught you. I’m talking about a conscious, intentional, and deeply spiritual act of letting go. It’s about releasing the grip the past has on you, so you can be fully present in this beautiful, precious moment. It’s about creating space for grace to enter your life. ## The Heavy Chains of Yesterday So many of us walk through life carrying the heavy chains of yesterday. We carry the weight of past hurts, regrets, and disappointments. We replay old stories in our minds, stories of what we should have done, what we could have said, what we wish had been different. And my dear friends, this is a heavy, heavy burden to bear. When we are constantly looking back, we cannot see the beauty that is right in front of us. We miss the gentle smile of a stranger, the warmth of the sun on our skin, the sweet melody of a bird’s song. The past becomes a veil that colors our entire experience of the present. It’s like trying to drive a car while looking only in the rearview mirror. You’re bound to crash.

I keep palo santo in every room, it is one of my favorite tools for shifting energy. *(paid link)*

This attachment to the past is not just a mental habit; it’s a spiritual sickness. It keeps us trapped in a cycle of suffering, preventing us from experiencing the boundless joy and peace that is our birthright. It’s a prison of our own making, and I’m here to tell you that you hold the key to your own freedom. ## Ancient Wisdom on Releasing the Past This idea of letting go is not new, my friends. It is a golden thread that runs through all the great spiritual traditions of the world. The ancient sages and mystics understood that the path to liberation is paved with the stones of surrender and release. I remember one morning in a workshop here in Denver when a woman started shaking uncontrollably during a breath practice. I walked over, laid my hand on her shoulder, and told her, “This shaking is your nervous system rewriting its old story.” Years of holding grief, fear, regret—it all needed to move through the body. At that moment, forgetting wasn’t about erasing memory; it was about the body finally saying no to being a storage unit for the past. In the real teachings of **Advaita Vedanta**, we are reminded that our true nature is not the limited, personal self with its history of triumphs and failures. Our true nature is the timeless, formless Self, the one consciousness that pervades all of existence. From this perspective, the past is nothing more than a dream, a story that we have told ourselves. The great sage Ramana Maharshi taught that through the practice of self-inquiry, by asking “Who am I?”, we can dissolve the ego and its attachment to the past, and awaken to the radiant truth of our being. The gentle wisdom of **Buddhism** also speaks to the importance of non-attachment. The Buddha taught that suffering arises from our craving and clinging to things, including our own stories and memories. The practice of mindfulness, of being fully present in the here and now, is a powerful antidote to the poison of the past. By observing our thoughts and feelings without judgment, we can learn to let them go, like clouds passing in the sky. We realize that we are not our thoughts; we are the awareness that witnesses them. And in the heart of **mystical Christianity**, we find the same message of surrender and release. The great Christian mystics, like Meister Eckhart and St. John of the Cross, spoke of the “dark night of the soul,” a process of letting go of everything we think we know, everything we hold dear, in order to make room for God. It is a process of dying to the old self, the self that is defined by the past, in order to be reborn into a new life of grace and freedom. Richard Rohr, a modern-day mystic, beautifully describes this as “falling upward,” where our losses and failures become the very means of our ascent to a higher consciousness.

Nisargadatta Maharaj's I Am That is one of the most direct and powerful pointers to truth ever recorded. *(paid link)*

## The Sacred Art of Forgetting So, how do we do it? How do we learn to forget, to let go of the past? It is a practice, my friends, a sacred art that requires patience, compassion, and a whole lot of love. Here are a few humble suggestions to guide you on your journey: **1. The Ritual of Release:** Create a sacred ritual to symbolize your intention to let go. You might write down your past hurts and regrets on a piece of paper and then safely burn it, watching the smoke carry your burdens away. Or you might go to a river or the ocean and throw a stone into the water, imagining that you are releasing all that no longer serves you. **2. The Power of the Breath:** Your breath is a powerful anchor to the present moment. Whenever you find yourself lost in the labyrinth of the past, gently bring your attention to your breath. Feel the sensation of the air entering and leaving your body. With each exhale, imagine that you are releasing the past. With each inhale, imagine that you are breathing in peace and presence. **3. The Alchemy of Forgiveness:** Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools for letting go of the past. And I’m not just talking about forgiving others; I’m talking about forgiving yourself. You did the best you could with the knowledge and awareness you had at the time. It’s time to let yourself off the hook. Forgiveness is not about condoning what happened; it’s about freeing yourself from the prison of resentment.

Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now remains one of the most important spiritual books of our time. *(paid link)*

**4. Rewriting Your Story:** You are the author of your own life story. If the old story is no longer serving you, it’s time to write a new one. Focus on the lessons you’ve learned, the strength you’ve gained, and the wisdom you’ve acquired. See your past not as a source of shame, but as a training ground for your soul. ## Falling Upward into Freedom My dear friends, the spiritual practice of forgetting is not about erasing your past. It’s about transforming your relationship to it. It’s about realizing that you are so much more than your history. You are a vast, boundless, and infinitely creative being. I’ve sat with clients, sometimes hundreds in a month, peeling back layers of their stories. One man kept circling the same painful event, stuck in the details. I told him straight: “Let the memory be there, but make it irrelevant to who you are now.” It’s brutal honesty, but it’s also freedom. Following Amma and sitting with my own dark nights taught me that clinging to old identities is nothing but a cage. The only way out is to stop feeding the ghost of yesterday. When you learn to let go of the past, you create a space for miracles to happen. You open yourself up to new possibilities, new relationships, and new ways of being. You discover a lightness and a freedom that you never thought possible. You begin to “fall upward,” as Richard Rohr so beautifully puts it, into a life of grace, joy, and unconditional love. It is a journey, my friends, not a destination. There will be times when you find yourself slipping back into old patterns, when the ghosts of the past come knocking at your door. And that’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. With love and compassion, simply return to the practice of letting go. Return to the present moment. Return to the breath. ## A Final Reflection

Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart is the book I give to anyone going through a dark night. *(paid link)* I've probably bought fifty copies over the years. Seriously. Her writing cuts through all the spiritual bullshit and gets to the raw truth of suffering ~ that trying to avoid it makes everything worse. When my marriage imploded, this book sat on my nightstand for months. Dog-eared pages. Coffee stains. The whole damn thing. She doesn't promise you'll feel better. She promises you'll learn to sit with feeling terrible, and somehow that's more honest than any self-help guru peddling quick fixes.

I invite you to take a moment right now, to close your eyes, and to place your hand on your heart. Feel the gentle rhythm of your own being. And in this quiet space, I invite you to ask yourself: What am I holding onto from the past that is no longer serving me? What would it feel like to let it go? What would it feel like to be truly free? Know that you are not alone on this journey. We are all in this together, learning to let go, learning to love, learning to be free. And I am here with you, every step of the way, sending you so much love and encouragement. May you have the courage to forget, the strength to let go, and the wisdom to fall upward into the boundless freedom of your own beautiful soul. With all my love, Paul Wagner